What Happens Next
by raccoonsmate4life
Summary: A collection of drabbles/one-shots/episode tags/prompts. Will be all Deeks and Kensi unless other inspiration strikes.
1. Touché, Zorro (6x17)

_Tag to 6x17 _

_Disclaimer – I own nothing_

* * *

"I think Sam knows."

The words rush out of Kensi's mouth as soon as she opens the front door to Deeks' place. She is looking a bit frazzled, and hastily strides into the kitchen to put their take-out on the counter. As she turns to go back to the living room, she runs right into her boyfriend's chest as he reaches for her hips and moves to pin her against the counter.

"Hello to you too," Deeks murmurs as he leans down to press a chaste kiss to her lips.

Kensi exhales as she tilts her head ever so slightly and gives him a small smile and shakes her head. Three months of being all in and she loves that he still can't wait to kiss her after having to pretend all day at work that they don't go home together almost every night.

"Hi."

"Now, what does Sam know?"

"About _us_, Deeks."

Deeks' eyes widen slightly as he pulls back a bit to examine Kensi's face, hoping that maybe she's joking. They've talked a little bit about if and when they should tell the team but their plan definitely did _not_ include the team finding out before they could say anything.

It isn't that they're worried what the rest of the team will think (okay, maybe they're a little worried about that), but they want to prove that they can separate their home life from their work life. Prove that what happened the day Kensi got sent to Afghanistan isn't going to happen again.

"About _us_ us? Like, _this_?" he asks incredulously as he frantically waves his finger back and forth between their chests.

Kensi rolls her eyes, "Yes, genius, _that_ us."

"Why do you think that?" then remembering that Kensi had gone out with Sam earlier to track down Kamal, "Did he say something this afternoon?"

Kensi places her hands on his waist and rubs her thumbs up and down the sides of his stomach, "Kind of? Well, not exactly. I don't know," she pauses, remembering Sam's knowing tone and look during their little exchange in the car. But _how_? When?

"Kens," Deeks breaks her out of her stupor, "What did he say?"

With a sigh, she continues, "He said 'touché' to something I said. It caught me by surprise and I mentioned how you say that all the time. He gives me this _look_ and says, 'Yeah, now I know why.'"

"Oh," Deeks clears his throat, "Yeah, no, that sounds…I don't get it. Why do you think that means he knows about us?"

Kensi shoots him a look like she can't believe that he didn't automatically come to the same conclusion that she did. Especially considering it's "his" word.

"Do you remember lecturing me on the definition of 'touché'?" she prompts.

* * *

"_Let me just drop some knowledge on you for a second. It's French. It comes from fencing. It means 'to touch.' So if I were to touch you with my sword, then you would say touché."_

* * *

A huge grin instantly spreads across Deeks' face and he lets out a quiet chuckle, "Of course. That was the day that you—" Kensi watches as understanding flashes in his eyes, "Oooh, I see what you mean. Touché, touching, _swords_," he wiggles his eyebrows at her.

That earns him a massive eye roll but she can't hide the smirk that forms.

"So, what did you do?"

"I just kind of laughed and got out of the car. Figured it would be worse if I tried to keep talking. I mean, I didn't want to lie about it," she explains as she leans forward and places her forehead on his chest and takes a deep breath.

She can't see the soft smile on her boyfriend's face at her response. It's a testament to how far they've come if she doesn't want to deny their "thing" even in the interest of keeping them a secret.

Gently pushing back on her shoulders so that she's looking up at him again, he tells her what he's thinking, "We should just tell them. We weren't going to be able to keep it to ourselves forever anyway."

Kensi sighs and closes her eyes, "Yeah, we probably should. I just don't know if I'm ready for everyone to know yet."

"You don't think Sam will tell Callen? And you know if Callen finds out, it's only a matter of time before Hetty knows."

"Sam won't tell," Kensi replies with more confidence than she actually feels.

Deeks looks at her rather disbelievingly, "You sure about that?"

"Michelle," she answers, as if that explains everything. When Deeks continues to look at her skeptically, she elaborates, "Given how he and Michelle started, I think he gets it. He won't say anything."

He nods, accepting that she's probably right about that, "Okay, so maybe we just tell them soon, but not necessarily like, tomorrow or anything."

"Deal," she punctuates her agreement with a peck to his cheek, "now, dinner," as she turns in his arms and starts setting their Chinese out on the counter.

Deeks wraps his arms around her stomach and pulling her toward him, he whispers in her ear, "You know what else I remember?" he smiles as he nuzzles her hair with his nose, his breath fanning across her neck, "I remember you saying that I couldn't touch your too-shay. How'd that work out for you, Princess?"

The only response he gets is Kensi taking one of his hands in hers before she starts leading him out of the kitchen and toward his bedroom, her eyes darkening with desire.

"Oh, touché, Zorro. Touché."

Dinner was going to have to wait.

* * *

**A/N – I have this feeling that Sam knows about Deeks and Kensi's relationship, and maybe has known for a little while. When I watched the touché scene between Kensi and Sam, I basically interpreted it as him hinting to her that he knows (and it serves as a subtle set-up for the next episode when the team apparently finds out). That's where this came from.**


	2. I Like Being Your Partner (6x17)

_Another tag to 6x17. I guess this could be a companion/follow-up to Chapter 1._

_I still own nothing._

* * *

Chinese takeout cartons are scattered across the coffee table, the bluish glow from the TV is the only light in the room, and Kensi is drifting off to sleep as she lies with her head in Deeks' lap, his fingers mindlessly running through her hair. It's getting late but dinner had been a bit delayed by some pre-meal _touching_.

After a couple of minutes, Kensi realizes that her impromptu scalp massage has stopped and assuming that Deeks must have dozed off, she turns to look at him to suggest they go to bed. He isn't asleep though; he looks deep in thought, and a little sad, as he stares off into space.

"Hey," she whispers and reaches up to brush a few of his unruly blonde curls out of his face, "you okay?"

"Oh, hey, I thought you were sleeping," he whispers back as he threads his fingers through hers and presses a quick kiss to the back of her hand.

Kensi rubs her thumb over his, "What are you thinking about?"

Deeks lets out a long, slow breath. He doesn't know if he really wants to have this conversation tonight; he still hasn't made much sense of it himself yet. But he also kind of thinks telling her might help. Maybe she'll have better luck than he's had in figuring it out.

"I was thinking that I _really_ like being your partner."

Kensi looks at him, confusion clearly written on her face.

"Okaaayyy…" she says slowly, trailing off in hopes that he'll continue. He doesn't. So she does, "That's what you were thinking? You looked a little sad."

He's silent for a few seconds and she wonders where this could possibly be going.

"And I didn't really like being Callen's partner."

_Hmm._

She wasn't really expecting that and now she's almost more confused.

"This afternoon?" Deeks nods in response as she moves to sit properly so that she can look at him fully, "What, uh... What happened?"

"I don't even know!" He runs a hand through his hair before leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, "That's what I can't stop thinking about - I don't know what happened."

Kensi isn't used to seeing him like this. Her usually easy-going boyfriend seems irritated but also a bit discouraged. But before she can ask any more questions, Deeks starts up again.

"He just…I don't know. He really didn't seem to want me there. I mean, he was pretty quick to suggest that you stay instead."

Kensi cringes slightly, remembering how quickly she shot down Callen's suggestion. She hadn't thought about how it left Deeks with no real say in the matter.

"Yeah, sorry about that. I didn't mean to leave you high and dry, it was just so awkward last time I had to partner with him."

Deeks chuckles a little remembering back to the case when Hunter had swapped partners on them and how he never would have guessed after that, that he would have preferred being with Sam today.

Leaning his head on the back of the couch, he tilts slightly to look at her, "I'm not upset with you. And I could have dealt with awkward. But he was basically a jerk. He shut the interrogation room door in my face."

"What? He did that?" Kensi can't believe the turns this conversation is taking, "What did you do?"

Deeks shrugs, "watched him question the guy on the screen instead. Grumbled to myself about it. Got caught mid-grumbling by Eric. And Nell. And Granger."

Kensi laughs lightly, "Did you forget that OPS is always connected to the boatshed?"

"I forgot that OPS is always connected to the boatshed," he confirms, allowing himself to laugh a little at that, "On a positive note, I think Granger is intrigued by my s'morescakes. He pretended he wasn't, but I could see through him."

Kensi raises her eyebrows at him, "If you recall, he also liked your Swedish nachos," she teases.

"Hey! _You_ love my pancakes," he retorts.

She looks at him with a soft smile, "I do," she nods and leans into his side, draping an arm across his stomach.

"I'm sorry Callen was a jerk to you."

Deeks wraps his arms around her shoulder, pulling her even closer and pressing a kiss to her hair.

"Not your fault," he sighs, "You think maybe I should talk to him?"

Snuggling further into his embrace, her reply is quiet as she starts sounding awfully sleepy, "That might be a good idea. Maybe he was just having a bad day," she lets out a long yawn, "You know how he gets when he's separated from Sam."

"Yeah, he mopes more than you do when I'm not around," he jokes, gently poking her in the side.

When that doesn't get a response, he looks down and sees that she's fighting to keep her eyes open. Untangling them from each other, he stands and tugs at her hands to get her on her feet.

"Come on, KayKay, bedtime," he steers her down the hall toward his bedroom before he collects their trash from dinner and carries it to the kitchen.

She's halfway down the hall when he hears a nearly inaudible, "Don't call me KayKay."

He laughs to himself as he pads to his room to join his girlfriend. She's already buried beneath the blankets when he slides in beside her. As he wraps an arm around her waist, pulling her back toward his chest, she grabs his hand.

"For the record, I _really_ like being your partner too," her voice is soft and muffled by her pillow.

"I know," he says with a squeeze of her hand.

"And you can make me s'morescakes in the morning."

A huge yawn escapes him as he shakes his head and starts drifting off to sleep, "Whatever you want, Fern. Whatever you want."

* * *

**A/N – I have a little theory that maybe this is what leads to the partner swap in the next episode. I'm probably wrong, but when I rewatched the scene in the boatshed, that's the connection I made between Callen's behavior and knowing that there is the swap next time. We'll see! **


	3. We're Good (6x18)

_Post ep for 6x18_

_Disclaimer – still don't own them_

* * *

"Kens, I don't want to talk about it tonight."

Deeks drops himself down onto his couch as he lets out a loud sigh. He knows it's not exactly fair to her to ignore the massive elephant in the room after the bomb Hetty just dropped on them. He just can't pull his thoughts together right now; his mind has been racing since their little pow-wow and maybe if he can sleep on it, things will seem a bit clearer in the morning.

It isn't as though Kensi doesn't know anything about what he doesn't want to talk about. Despite the little time they had together today, he had talked to her the first chance he got after she found out it was LAPD IA following them. There are very few things in his life that could be used against him in an investigation like this and while they weren't things he particularly wanted to dig up, he didn't want to keep secrets from her.

And as sure as Deeks was that he wanted Kensi in this fight with him, he was almost just as sure he didn't trust Hetty enough to let her in yet. Or maybe at all. He didn't doubt that she wanted to help them, but after the White Ghost mess, he can't be confident in her methods.

Turning his head to look at his girlfriend, he reaches for her hand, "But thank you. For listening. For not judging. For following my lead with Hetty."

Sitting down with her back against the arm of the couch, she motions for Deeks to come closer. As he leans his back against her chest, his head resting on her shoulder, she wraps her arms around his front and places a soft kiss to his hair.

"I never asked to talk about it tonight," she retorts with a slight smile, "and you don't need to thank me. All in, remember? You jump, I jump. Where you go, I go..."

"That's how we roll," he finishes as he brings her hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to her knuckles.

"And you know I still don't fully trust Hetty after last year. But I trust _you_, so for as long as you think we need to keep things from her, I'll do it," she says softly, squeezing his hand in hers, a silent confirmation of support. "We can talk, or not talk, about whatever you want."

She knows that look he's had on his face ever since they talked with Hetty – that sad, lost puppy look. That look that means he's battling himself trying to figure out the best way to minimize the impact of whatever might happen. That look that she would do anything to not be seeing right now. Or ever.

So tonight she's more than willing to ignore what she knows is on both of their minds. She's willing to ignore how her stomach dropped when she realized that they would try to use her to get to him. She's willing to do whatever he needs. She just wants to see him smile.

"Can we talk about how apparently we suck at keeping us a secret?" he asks, humor creeping back into his voice.

Kensi can't help the short laugh that escapes her at his sudden change in topic. She threads her fingers through his hair, letting her fingers lightly massage his scalp, "And about how apparently they've all known for a while."

Closing his eyes to focus on the gentle pressure of her fingers, he chuckles, "I guess we _did_ kiss a lot at the ice rink that day. It would have been a miracle if at least one of them didn't see us."

"I'm glad they didn't say anything," Kensi mumbles, dropping another kiss to the top of his head, "it gave us a chance to figure things out on our own."

Deeks nods and the way his breaths get shorter and softer, she can tell he's starting to drift off to sleep.

"We're doing a good job, right? Not letting Kensi and Marty interfere with Agent Blye and Detective Deeks?" His words are almost incoherent as slumber overtakes him.

She grabs the blanket off the back of the couch to drape it over them, "Yeah," she whispers, and repeating their words from earlier, "We're good."


	4. Twice the Chocolate (6x19)

_Tag to 6x19 (based on sneak peek)_

_Disclaimer – I own nothing._

* * *

"Kens."

She feels his lips ghosting up her arm as he whispers her nickname.

"Kensi."

He's kissing her bare shoulder now and she's wondering how long she can pretend to keep sleeping. She doesn't know what time it is, but she knows it's too early for a Saturday morning.

"Kensiiiiiii."

But of course he isn't taking the hint.

So when she feels his lips work their way up her neck and along her jawline, she sighs and turns her head slightly to meet his roaming lips. She can feel him smirk against her mouth before he kisses her soundly.

There are worse ways to wake up.

"G'morning," she mumbles when he pulls away, "I thought you were going surfing this morning."

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Deeks rubs slow circles on her back. Two months in and he still loves the sight of her in his bed every morning.

"I was going to but I'd have to be crazy and stupid to leave my beautiful girlfriend in bed by herself on Valentine's Day."

Kensi looks up at him, skepticism evident in her expression, "That would be a lot sweeter if it actually_ was_ Valentine's Day, Romeo." When Deeks just smiles at her, letting out a small laugh, she gets more confused. "Deeks, what's going on? I know you know Valentine's was last weekend. We celebrated –"

She's interrupted by a sarcastic snort which causes her to roll her eyes at him. Okay, so they hadn't _really_ celebrated, not in the way he had wanted to anyway. The whole expensive dinner, bunches of flowers, lovey-dovey night out was not really her thing.

"Hey!" she exclaims defensively, "Take-out on the beach with a nice walk along the water was a pretty good way to celebrate if you ask me." He had wanted to go out and she had wanted to stay in, so that had been their compromise.

"It definitely was," he nods in agreement as he drops a quick kiss to her forehead, "this is like a…continuation of sorts. Valentine's Day Part 2, if you will."

"Okaaaay…" she trails off as he pushes himself off the bed and walks toward the bedroom door. He reaches out into the hallway and when he turns around, he's holding a rather sizeable box.

"This," he taps the top of the box and places it beside her on the bed, "is what I know my Kensalina really wanted to do for Valentine's Day. So today, not unlike most days, she gets what she wants."

She grins up at him, not even caring what's in the box, and pulls him down for a quick kiss. She doesn't deserve him, but she's glad she can call him hers regardless.

Reaching out to open the flaps of the box, she can't hold back the grin that splits her face when she catches a glimpse of what's inside.

Chocolate. Tons and tons of chocolate. Heart-shaped boxes filled with it, heart-shaped peanut butter cups, hearts full of chocolate kisses. If it was chocolate and made for Valentine's Day, she's pretty sure it's in this box.

Kensi looks up at her boyfriend and shakes her head disbelievingly, the wide smile still plastered to her face. "Is this what you did the other day? It took you forever to get to my house after we left work."

He nods, "I needed to hit up the post-holiday sales as soon as I could if I was going to get enough to fill up this box."

She chuckles as she resumes rummaging through the contents of the box, "So this is what we're doing today? Making ourselves fat and getting cavities?"

He raises his eyebrows and gives her a knowing look, "Please, like that's ever stopped you before," he retorts.

"Eh, you have a point," she shrugs, already picking through one of the heart-shaped boxes.

"Would you like me to leave you two alone?" he teases as she pops chocolate number four into her mouth.

Picking up the large box and dropping it on the floor, she grabs the front of his shirt before he can step away, causing him to crash into her as her other arm moves to wrap around his neck.

"Nope," she murmurs, his lips hovering painfully close to hers. "I have other ideas for what we can do today."


	5. Stuck

_Happy 5__th__ Densi Day :)_

* * *

Sunlight is streaming through her bedroom windows, alerting her to the unwelcome fact that they are rapidly running out of time before they _really_ need to get ready for work.

But her partner-slash-boyfriend has his legs so completely tangled up with hers and his arms so securely wrapped around her body that she's not sure she can turn over, let alone get out of bed. And he's warm and she's incredibly comfortable.

Plus, Kensi reasons with herself, today is kind of a special day, so surely a few more minutes of cuddling are justifiable.

Settling herself even further into his embrace, she feels him place a lazy kiss to her hair before his chin come to rest on her shoulder.

"What time is it?" his voice is hoarse and he clears his throat before speaking again, "we need to get up soon, don't we?"

Nodding, she strokes the arm that is draped across her stomach, "It's seven-ish. I thought we deserved a few extra minutes this morning."

"Oh!" Deeks exclaims as he abruptly and without warning bolts upright, causing Kensi to practically flip off the bed. "That reminds me. I have something for us. Well, probably more for you," he leans over to drop a kiss on her forehead, "Stay here."

As he rolls off the bed and pads out of the room towards the kitchen, she's still trying to regain her bearings from the sudden change of pace. A slight smile appears on her face as she concludes that apparently he remembers what today is too.

"Deeks! What are you doing?" she calls down the hall as she gets out of bed and makes her way into the bathroom.

"Stay! I told you to stay!" he responds, sounding a bit rushed and drowned out by the sounds of rustling plastic and cabinets being open and closed.

Stepping out of the bathroom, Kensi can't help but laugh to herself as she stands in the hallway outside her bedroom, "I'm not Monty, you know, I don't respond to commands," she retorts, the laughter still evident in her voice.

Poking his head around the corner, Deeks sighs and shakes his head, "Kensi…Fern, please get your sexy ass back into that bed or else my surprise won't be much of a surprise."

She sticks her tongue out at him as she steps backwards into her room before turning to climb into bed. She props herself up against the headboard and just as she's pulling the blankets over her legs, she hears Deeks making his way down the hall. When he steps through the doorway and she sees what his surprise is, she can't contain the laugh that escapes her.

Lined up neatly on a plate are five Twinkies, each with an unlit candle sticking out of their middles. A grin splits her face as she scoots over to make room for Deeks to sit beside her on the edge of the bed.

"And what exactly are we celebrating?" she asks coyly, feigning unawareness to the significance of today.

"Kensalina, you mean to tell me that you don't know what today is?" he responds with a wink, clearly not buying her faux-cluelessness. "I would think that _you_ of all people would know what makes today special."

She scrunches her face as though she's searching her mind for an important memory, "Well, I do recall something rather noteworthy happening a few years ago."

Deeks scoffs, "A few? Eighty-five is more than a few, Kens."

The oblivious look that settles on her face is no longer an act.

"Eighty…Wha…I…," she stammers as she stares at him wide-eyed, "What?"

Rolling his eyes, Deeks points at the plate of treats, "Twinkies, Kens, they're 85 years old today! That is a big deal!"

Speechless, she continues to stare at him while the thoughts in her mind are reeling. He's joking, right? He has to be joking. There's no way this whole "celebration" is to pay homage to a snack cake. Sure, they're her favorite snack cake, but still.

Kensi is so lost in thought that she almost misses the way he is failing miserably at holding back from laughing at her confusion.

As realization comes to her, that he _does_ in fact know what today is, she sucks in a deep breath and glares at him as he leans forward to place a kiss to her lips that she can't help but return.

"I'm just kidding, _Tracy_," he speaks directly into her ear, his voice low and it sends a shiver down her spine. He pulls back and smiles at her, "I could never forget the day I met this crazy woman with 'private' photos wanting to buy drugs from a dead guy."

She lets out a loud sigh and Deeks leans in for one more kiss, "Turns out, she's the best thing that ever happened to me," he says softly as he pulls back.

Sitting back, he reaches for the lighter he brought from the kitchen and lights each of the five candles. Once they are lit, he looks back up at Kensi and chuckles when he sees her still staring at him, shaking her head ever so slightly.

"I hate you," Kensi grumbles as she hastily blows out the candles.

"I'm pretty sure you don't, actually," he replies, his signature infuriating smirk plastered on his face, "In fact I specifically remember you telling me otherwise just last night."

"Yeah, well, I think I might have to take that back," she smirks back at him as she reaches for her sugar-filled breakfast treat.

"You can't. You're stuck with me."

Kensi smiles as she finishes off her Twinkie and reaches for a second, "Yeah. Stuck, smitten, whatever."

* * *

_A/N - Huge shout out to violetdoodlebug for mentioning on tumblr that Densi and Twinkies share the same "birthday" (and for letting me steal that tidbit from her) because it was exactly what I needed to bring this together._


	6. Unacceptable (6x20)

_Tag to 6x20_

_Disclaimer - nope, still not mine_

* * *

Stepping out into the cool Los Angeles night after leaving the Korean restaurant where they'd just had dinner with Callen and Sam, Deeks reaches for Kensi and wraps an arm around her shoulder as one of her arms instinctively goes around his waist.

He drops a quick kiss to her hair as they make their way to the car, "That was nice," he says as he digs in his pocket for his keys. "We should do dysfunctional family dinners more often."

Coming to a stop next to his truck, Kensi drops her arm from his waist and steps between him and the vehicle. She chuckles as Deeks continues patting his pockets, apparently unable to find his keys and he jumps a little as she reaches inside his jacket to grab them from a hidden pocket and hands them over.

"It was," she replies, leaning against the passenger door, her hands reaching out to settle on his hips, her fingers lazily seeking out the skin just under the hem of his t-shirt. "We needed it after a case like this one, with all of us running all over the place and dealing with people like Dallas."

Deeks drops the keys back into his pocket before he tucks a section of her hair behind one of her ears and rubs his hands up and down her arms, attempting to keep her warm. "Thank you for being safe," he says quietly as he pulls her into a hug.

No matter how important the op, he hates when they have separate assignments. He trusts her and he trusts Callen and Sam when she's with them, but it still puts him on edge not being in the field with her. A huge wave of relief had crashed over him when Granger barked out, "Get Blye," and he was more than willing to obey that order.

"Thank you for not being weird about my part in this op," her response is quiet and slightly muffled by his chest.

"Weird?" he scoffs, not releasing her from his embrace, "What was there to be weird about?"

He's teasing, of course, he knows what she's talking about. It was one of the many hypothetical work situations they had talked about when they first went all-in. And if he's being honest, having Callen be the first "test" of this kind for their relationship-partnership was far more preferable than some creepy suspect.

Then as if on cue, they hear a voice coming from the direction of the restaurant, "Hey! Hands off my girl."

As they turn and see the two senior partners strolling towards them, Deeks can't help but laugh as Callen smirks at them, looking pretty proud of his joke.

Deeks smiles as he glances down and meets Kensi's gaze, "Sorry, Walinski, the op is over _and _we're off the clock. She's mine now." He doesn't miss the blush that quickly rises to her cheeks before he receives the massive eye roll he was expecting.

He lets out a yelp when she pinches his side, "What? I'm not wrong!" he retorts while she tries to bite back a laugh.

Callen chuckles, "Alright lovebirds, go home. We'll see you tomorrow."

As their teammates walk away, Kensi turns her attention back to Deeks, "So as I was saying," she tilts her head slightly as she lets out a light laugh, "thank you for not being weird."

"Kens, we've talked about this," his tone turning serious, "it's part of our job. My priority will always be your safety, okay? As long as you keep coming home with me at the end of the day, I'll be good."

Standing on her toes, Kensi places a quick kiss to his lips, "You're so cheesy," she teases.

"Please," he moves to open the door of the truck for her, "you love that about me."

Kensi slides into the seat and winks at him, "Eh, you're not wrong."

Deeks climbs into the driver's seat and turns the key in the ignition, "Good. Now that we have that settled, we can talk about one thing I _am _unhappy about."

A look of apprehension flicks across Kensi's eyes, "Okay…"

He can't seem to suppress the wide, goofy grin that splits his face, "Well, Agent Blye, I find it completely unacceptable that I am not the last guy you were in bed with."

The tension immediately releases from her shoulders as she starts laughing, "Then by all means, Detective, let's go home."

* * *

_This isn't exactly what I'd been going for when I started jotting down ideas, but it is what it is! Thanks for reading._


	7. Detective (6x21)

_Tag to 6x21 'Beacon'_

_Same as always - I own nothing_

* * *

Dinner leftovers are scattered around the top of her coffee table. The television, playing a mindless reality show, is illuminating the otherwise-dark living room. Her scruffy, shaggy, charming Detective is stretched out along the couch, his head in her lap as she runs her fingers through his hair. Since December, this has quickly become Kensi's favorite part of each day.

Tonight is no exception, but something has been bothering her since this afternoon and she's sure Deeks has noticed.

"Do you really think I wouldn't tell you if Detective Rivera contacted me again?" she asks quietly, her fingers never leaving his scalp as her gaze drifts down over the outline of his face.

She frowns to herself as she's overcome with the same unsettled feeling that seems to always surface the rare times the Internal Affairs investigation comes up between them. The situation leaves her feeling helpless and frustrated at the situation and worried about Deeks.

Deeks turns his head just enough to look at her and lets out a sigh, "Is that what you've been thinking about all day?"

Kensi shrugs in response before giving a small nod, "It caught me off guard that you seemed to think that I might keep something like that from you."

"Well, the other night, I did say you had the right to remain silent," he wiggles his eyebrows at her and chuckles as she fails to hold back a slightly exasperated grin.

"Deeks," she laughs lightly and shakes her head, "I'm serious."

He picks his head up off of her lap and moves to sit upright. Turning to face her, he sees the concern in her eyes and reaches for one of her hands, "I think I just got worried that you might try to deal with her by yourself, to protect me or because I'm not ready to talk about things."

The disbelieving look Kensi gives him is eerily similar to the one he got in response to the very question that's been bothering her all day and he drops his gaze to their entwined hands.

She sighs and squeezes the hand that holds hers before placing her hands on either side of his face, forcing him to look at her.

"Hey," she gives him a soft smile and shakes his head gently, "_we_ are in this together, okay? You and me. Not Detective Rivera. Yes, I always want to protect you and yes, I wish you would talk to me about it, but I also get why you're not. I'm not going to go behind your back."

Deeks smiles as he leans in to press a languid kiss to her lips.

"Thank you," he says, his voice barely above a whisper, "Thank you for not pushing me and giving me space with this. Thank you for being awesome."

Releasing her grip on his face, Kensi pats his chest, "I _am _pretty awesome," she agrees with a smirk before turning serious, "and I'm here for you, always. Remember that."

"I know," Deeks sighs and leans against the back of the couch, "I hope I can explain it all to you someday."

"You will," she replies confidently, patting his knee as she gets up to bring their takeout containers into the kitchen, "when you're ready."

Walking back into the living room, Kensi sees the far off look in his eyes, his mind clearly still reeling and she decides it's time for them to focus on less somber events.

"Now," she says with a smirk as she stands in front of him and reaches her hands out. When he grabs hold of her hands with his, she pulls him up off the couch. She tilts her head up to pepper kisses along his jawline before nipping at his ear lobe. She whispers seductively, "tell me more about this right I have to remain silent."

That goofy smile she loves slowly appears on his face as realization dawns on him, "Oooh, well…" he looks down at her, his eyes darkening as she starts guiding him to her bedroom, "you also have the right to an attorney."

"Mmm, good thing I happen to know one of those," she grins up at him as her legs hit the edge of the bed.

Reaching for the hem of her t-shirt, Deeks swiftly pulls it up and over her head, "You don't need to call him yet," he kisses her soundly on the mouth. "I have to execute my search warrant first," he mumbles against her lips as Kensi pulls them down onto the mattress.

Gripping his biceps as he hovers over her, her response is breathless, "Well then you'd better get started, Detective."

* * *

_And just a quick, but MASSIVE thank you for all the feedback on _Silence_. I promise I'm working on the second chapter and hope to have it up before Monday's new episode._


	8. Close (6x22)

_Tag to 6x22, 'Field of Fire' - This took me a while even though even though I've had the dialogue down for over a week. Lack of inspiration from the episode, I guess.  
_

* * *

Sitting at his desk as he packs up for the night, Deeks can't help but look over to the bottom of the staircase every few seconds, knowing for certain that he wouldn't be winning any awards for subtlety right now. Kensi is leaning back against the railing, facing the bullpen with her arms crossed, having a quiet conversation with Granger though it appears Granger is doing most of the talking.

Deeks assumes it must be about today's op - it hadn't been an easy one, especially for Kensi, though she's good at hiding it. But he knows better. He knows _her_ better. She's not nearly as okay as she's trying to pretend to be.

When he sees Kensi nod to Granger and say good night, he stands up and hoists the strap of his messenger bag over his head and across his body.

"Alright, partner, dinner's on me tonight," he flashes his usual easy grin in her direction, "Your pick, for a job well done."

Instead of the eye roll or enthusiastic reply, one or both of which he was expecting, she cocks her head to the side and eyes him with a mix of curiosity and skepticism.

"W...wwhat?" The lack of response along with the look she's giving him is making him very uncomfortable, "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"You've been calling me 'partner' a lot lately," she explains, her expression unchanged.

_Oh._

"But you _are_ my partner," Deeks reasons, but he knows he can't fool her. He isn't the only one who knows their partner better than anyone else does.

This time he does get the reaction he expects when he sees Kensi raise her eyebrows and stare at him expectantly.

Taking a page out of her own book, he rolls his eyes before he lets out a sigh and continues on with the explanation she's waiting for.

"It's just...it's kind of a reminder-"

She snorts, "Are you afraid you're going to forget that I'm your partner?"

"What I'm afraid of…" he trails off, rubbing his hand along his jaw and gripping the back of his neck. He really wishes they weren't having this conversation in the middle of the bullpen.

"What I'm afraid I'm going to forget," he begins again, "is that when we're here, or out there saving the world, you're _just_ my partner."

Kensi's expression morphs into one of confusion and she opens her mouth to speak but quickly closes it, seemingly trying to come up with a response.

"...Okay? Am I...should I be offended?" she asks, sounding more confused than offended, and for that Deeks is grateful. "I'm _not_ just your partner…"

He shakes his head emphatically, "No, you're not," he agrees matter-of-factly before giving her a soft smile. "But at work, I can't let you be Girlfriend-Kensi. You need to just be Partner-Kensi."

As he watches understanding flicker in her eyes and her expression soften, he continues, "The last time I let you be more than just my partner at work, I couldn't take the shot, you punched me in the face, and then got shipped to the other side of the world for five months, and I almost lost you."

Blowing out a long breath, Deeks allows himself to reach for her hand and gives it a quick squeeze. "So, at work, you're _just_ my partner. And sometimes I need to make sure I don't forget that," he shrugs.

After a few seconds, Kensi nods slowly, a small smile on her face, "Okay," her voice is barely above a whisper. Without another word, she turns to her desk to pick up her own bag.

Before she can turn back around, she suddenly senses his presence behind her. He's standing close enough that she can _feel _him, but just far enough away that he's not actually touching her. He leans forward, his breath tickling her ear and she sucks in a quick breath.

He speaks directly into her ear, his voice low, "And sometimes it's a reminder that I need to keep my hands to myself." And just as quickly as he had appeared behind her, he is gone and slowly walking toward the door.

Catching up with him, Kensi shakes her head silently as Deeks looks down at her with a playful smirk on his face.

"Come on, _partner_," she chuckles, "whichever Kensi I am right now, she wants bulgogi."

. . . .

"So, uh, what did Granger want?" Deeks voices the question he's wanted to ask since they left work. Their Korean takeout had been quickly devoured and for the past hour, they have been sitting in a comfortable silence, only occasionally making comments about the DIY home show they're currently watching.

Kensi shrugs, her eyes never leaving the TV, "He just wanted to make sure I was doing okay after the op today. Told me I did a good job."

Deeks nods as he pulls her feet into his lap and begins to massage them. "You did do a good job," he squeezes her ankle, "and how _are _you doing?"

"And don't say 'fine'," he adds quickly as Kensi opens her mouth to respond and instead sticks her tongue out at him.

Leaning her head back on the arm of the couch, she closes her eyes, "It just hit close to home," she sighs and looks over to him, "When I looked at Connor, I saw Jack, when I looked at his daughter, I saw myself…then Granger was in my ear telling me to take the shot. It was all just..."

"Too close," Deeks finishes her thought as Kensi gives him a sad smile, "But that saved his life, Kens. Anyone else probably would have just taken him out."

"I couldn't do that to him, to his daughter," her voice stronger, a myriad of emotions flashing in her eyes, "he didn't deserve to die."

"And you made sure he didn't," Deeks reaches for her hand and waits for her gaze to meet his, "you did a good job," he repeats.

She shifts her gaze to his hand covering hers and he watches as the tension is released from her shoulders and her expression relaxing. When she looks back to him, the smile he's graced with is lighter and more genuine as she turns her hand over and laces their fingers together, "Thanks, Deeks."

He leans down and presses a quick kiss to her lips, "I told you I had more moments," he jokes as he pulls away ever so slightly.

Kensi's shoulders shake with laughter, "I don't think it counts if you point them out."

Deeks chuckles and shrugs as he sits up, "Eh, probably not, but you're laughing and that's all I wanted." He picks her feet up from his lap and places them on the floor. Grabbing her hand again, he stands and pulls her off the couch, "Come on."

"Where are we going?" She asks even though she already knows.

"Well, you get to be Girlfriend-Kensi for the next 10ish hours," he winks at her, "and that means I don't need to keep my hands to myself."

She tries and fails to hide the amused grin threatening to split her face and gives him a small nod, "Then by all means, Detective, let's go."


	9. Help

_prompt from hysterical-for-joshifer on tumblr - Fluffy, domestic Densi and pregnant Kensi_

* * *

"What the hell?"

_Thud_

"UGGGHHHH."

Kensi lets out a long sigh as she glances down the hallway in the direction of all the noise. It is taking every last ounce of her willpower to stay in the kitchen and not go ask him if she can help.

_Leave him alone, Kensi. He can do this by himself. He _wants_ to do this by himself._

She has been repeating that mantra to herself ever since he declared that it was time to "conquer that beast!" and forbade her from following him.

"Shit."

But apparently the limit to her willpower is the not-so-quiet utterance of the seventh expletive she's heard in the last fifteen minutes. Not that she's been counting or anything. Grabbing a cold bottle of water from the refrigerator, she heads towards the back of the house and stands outside the closed bedroom door. Somewhat hesitantly, she raises her hand and knocks softly.

"Damnit!"

She knocks again, but without waiting for a response, she slowly opens the door to let herself into the room.

"Marty?" She calls out as she pokes her head through the doorway. The sight she's greeted with is worse than she was expecting.

Sitting on the floor against the far wall is her husband with his elbows propped up on his knees and his eyes closed as his head leans back against the wall. He's surrounded by a scattered mess of nuts, bolts, wrenches, screwdrivers, and more pieces of prefabricated wood than she can remember being in the box.

Shaking her head and smiling sympathetically, she opens the door fully and starts to make her way across the room. As she stands next to him, she reaches for his shoulder and carefully lowers herself to the floor and mirrors his position.

"Hey," she tries as she gently bumps his shoulder with hers.

Deeks turns his head to look at her and lets out a defeated sigh, "Don't. Ask."

"Are you sure?" Kensi chuckles lightly and hands him the bottle of water.

Taking the water, he glares at his wife but it does nothing to stop her quiet laughter, "Yes I'm sure," he responds stubbornly.

At the skeptical look she throws at him, he rolls his eyes, "Kensi. A father should be able to put his baby's crib together!" He's exasperated and flustered and she's greatly amused.

"And what about the baby's mother?" She challenges good-naturedly as she rubs her hands over her bump. "Why can't she help?"

Deeks shrugs and shifts his gaze to the floor and mumbles something that Kensi can't make out.

She reaches her hand out to rub his neck and gently tugs at the hair there to pull his head up. "You wanna say that again?" she prompts when he looks over to her.

He shakes his head, "It's going to make me sound ridiculous," he admits.

Kensi snorts, "Yeah, well, that doesn't usually stop you."

He shrugs again and extends one of his arms out to lay his hand on the front of her protruding belly. Her growing bump has been one of his favorite things about her pregnancy and it's hard for him to believe they have less than two months to go.

He groans internally when he realizes that at his current pace, it may take him that long to finish assembling this impossible crib.

"I'm the man of the house, the husband, the dad," he says simply, "It's my job to provide a place for Baby Deeks to sleep."

"Ah, so this is part-Neanderthal Deeks speaking," Kensi teases as she covers his hand with hers, happy when she sees the corners of his mouth turn up.

"Plus, I thought you found it sexy when a man could build things?" Deeks smirks at her as he leans over to kiss her cheek.

Kensi can't suppress the laugh that escapes her mouth, "Really, Deeks?" She looks at him disbelievingly, "After all these years, _now_ you want to try and impress me with your handyman skills?"

"Yeah…" He scrunches up his face as he scratches the back of his head and exhales loudly, "This was a _terrible_ idea."

Kensi nods silently in agreement and runs her fingers through his hair, "Do you want me to do it?" She presses a soft kiss to his shoulder

Deeks shakes his head and pushes himself off the ground, "Come on, Wifey," he reaches down to help his pregnant wife stand up, "We can do it together."

Once on her feet, Kensi wraps her arms around his waist and pulls herself as close as her belly allows, kissing the space above his heart.

"Don't worry, Hubby," she looks up at him seductively, "there are plenty of other things I find sexy about you and your hands."


	10. So Funny

_first sentence meme on tumblr_  
_from aprylynn - "What the hell is so funny?"_

* * *

"What the hell is so funny?" Deeks pokes at his girlfriend as she sits curled up next to him on her couch.

He had been drawn out of his TV-induced haze by the subtle shaking of Kensi's shoulders as she was trying – and failing – to stifle her laughter.

She turns to look at him, her amusement all too evident as she can't help but shift her gaze to his hair as his fingers absent-mindedly fidget with it.

He huffs, "Really, Kens? Still?"

"I can't believe you let Kamran braid your hair," she barely squeaks out. To her credit, she really is trying hard not to laugh at her boyfriend's current hair misfortune. He looks like Pippi Longstocking but with about ten braids sticking out all over his head instead of just two.

She's still biting back a huge grin, but she can't stop the snort that finally escapes, "You look like the sun."

They've been home from babysitting the littlest Hanna for just over an hour and Deeks swears the braids are getting tighter with each failed attempt to take them out. Damn those tiny elastics.

"I can't believe you aren't helping me undo them," he pouts as he continues to toy with the ends.

Giving him a look of pity, Kensi pushes herself off the couch and grabs his hand, "Come on Mr. Golden Sun," she teases as she drags him toward the bathroom and turns on the shower.

"Don't think that distracting me with shower sex is going to get you out of helping me with these."

Rolling her eyes, Kensi silently motions for him to sit on the toilet and makes quick work of relieving his golden Viking mane of the offending updo.

"So the shower sex is like a thank you?" Deeks winks at her as he ruffles his now free locks and lets out a sigh of relief.

She's laughing again as she stands him in front of the mirror where he catches the first glimpse of the crimpy, poofy, out-of-control mop that now sits on top of his head.

He sighs as he locks eyes with her in the mirror, "I'm not getting any shower sex, am I?"

Kensi smirks and leans forward to press a long kiss to his neck, "Call me back in here when you don't look like a troll doll and maybe you'll get lucky."


	11. My Favorite

_first sentence meme  
from hermionesmydawg – "Oh…yay. My favorite."_

* * *

"Oh…yay. My favorite."

Deeks turns at the sarcastic voice of his new roommate as she joins him in the kitchen, "You need to work on making that sound more believable, Kens, or else I'm going to start thinking you don't love me anymore."

Rolling her eyes, she hops up on the counter and watches as he finishes adding all the ingredients for his very green, healthy-looking breakfast smoothie and turns on the blender. Trying to be subtle, she scours the rest of the kitchen from her perch – surely he made her pancakes or bacon or eggs or all of the above on the first Saturday morning in _their _apartment.

"Microwave," he points the corner of the counter without looking up from the blender.

A small smile creeps across Kensi's face as she hops down and pulls open the door to find a plate with scrambled eggs, crispy bacon, and a small stack of chocolate chip pancakes waiting for her.

Grabbing a fork, she gives Deeks a peck on the cheek as she walks over to sit at the island to dig in to her breakfast.

"Best roomie ever."


	12. What Is That

_first sentence meme  
from anonymous – "What is that?"_

* * *

"What is that?" Deeks stops in his tracks as he lets himself into Kensi's apartment.

He's been undercover for two weeks and he couldn't get here fast enough. But his mission to see her was abruptly sidetracked when he noticed something on her couch that isn't usually there.

"Is that…" he steps closer to the couch just as Kensi makes her way out of the kitchen, "…my pink cat pillow?"

Kensi's eyes widen as she blushes. "Monty was homesick…" she replies weakly as she glances over at the mutt who is currently sleeping all the way on the other side of the room.

Deeks chuckles, "Of course."

Rolling her eyes, Kensi crosses the room and wraps her arms around his waist as his instinctively wind around her shoulders.

"You missed me," he says softly and presses a kiss to her forehead.

Nodding against his chest, she squeezes her arms tighter, "I missed you."


	13. Unsee

_first sentence meme  
from anonymous – "I can never unsee that…ever." (reference to 6x10 (Reign Fall)) _

* * *

"I can never unsee that…ever," Deeks is practically giddy as he stands behind his partner, both looking at something on her laptop, "and it's _awesome_!"

"What's awesome, Deeks?" Sam asks as he and Callen walk into the bullpen after lunch.

He looks over at the pair and while Kensi is desperately trying to keep a straight face, Deeks is looking right at him with a huge smile and laughter in his eyes. "I can't believe we didn't know what kind of monster we work with," hey says in mock disgust.

Sam sighs, betting he is going to instantly regret asking, but his curiosity is getting the best of him, "What the hell are you talking about?"

Coming to stand behind the pair, Sam's head snaps over to Callen when he sees the picture that has their junior team members in stitches.

It's a picture of him.  
At Kam's Disney birthday party last weekend.  
Dressed up as Sully.  
With his hands in the air trying his best to "scare" a group of his daughter's friends.

"G! Really? I knew I shouldn't have told you to stop by."

"Sorry, Big Guy," Callen chuckles, not looking sorry at all, "but Deeks has a point. They deserve to know."


	14. Don't Do This

_first sentence meme  
from maybemadmarie – "Please don't do this"_

* * *

"Please don't do this," Deeks whines as he stands in her bedroom doorway, watching her dig through her closet for a shirt.

She looks over at him with a smirk on her face, "It's just a few drinks, Deeks."

"Yeah. With Kip," he huffs. "It's a terrible idea."

"For you, maybe," Kensi laughs as she pulls her shirt over her head, "For me, it sounds pretty awesome."

Crossing his arms over his chest, Deeks pouts, "When I said we could take a night off every now and then, I didn't mean so you could go on a date without me."

"Okay, drama queen," Kensi rolls her eyes but can't hide her amused smile, "stop calling it a date. How are we supposed to talk about you if you come with us?"

That's exactly what he's afraid of. Kensi and Kip talking. About him. They both know more than anyone else and the two of them together will be a force he doesn't want to reckon with.

Her expression softens when she sees the wheels churning in his head. Standing in front of him, she reaches for his hips and leans up to press a quick kiss to his lips. "Relax, he said he just wanted to get to know me better since I 'stole his best friend.'"

Finally, he chuckles and she sees the corners of his mouth drift up. He sighs and pulls her in for a hug.

"Come over when you're done?" he asks hopefully.

"Wasn't going to go anywhere else," she winks as she reaches down to give his butt a firm squeeze.

He grins at her, "Agent Blye, you _are_ bad."

"That's what I've heard."


	15. Made For Each Other

_first sentence meme  
from thelittlepterophyllum – "You two really are made for each other."_

* * *

"You two really are made for each other," Kensi can't bite back the laugh that escapes her as she walks into her boyfriend's apartment – back "home" after spending the day with her mom.

Deeks is lying on his back, stretched out the length of the couch with one leg thrown over the back. His unruly blonde curls are even more unkempt than usual and his leg is bouncing on top of the cushion like he just can't sit completely still.

Across the room, Monty's position on his dog bed is almost identical. His fur is wild, evidence of the lack of time they've had to get him to the groomer recently and while he's asleep, he must be chasing something in his dreams, because his back legs won't stop twitching.

A nap sounds perfect, Kensi thinks as she walks over to the couch. Deeks has already shifted, making room for her to lie down in front of him so she makes quick work of getting comfortable as his arm drapes over her midsection, pulling her closer.

"You love us," Deeks mumbles, clearly ready for sleep himself.

She glances over at Monty and sighs as she feels Deeks drop a kiss to her hair.

"Yeah, I do," she yawns, "My boys."


	16. Get Rid of It

_first sentence meme  
from anonymous – "I'm pretty sure that's not what she meant when she said 'get rid of it.'"_

* * *

"I'm pretty sure that's not what she meant when she said, 'get rid of it.'"

"Sam!" Deeks lets out a frustrated groan, "Not. Helping."

He's currently standing in the middle of the spare bedroom of Kensi's house – _their_ house – holding his framed picture of the dogs playing poker and trying to figure out how he can fit it in the tiny and already over-packed closet.

He's not even sure why he wants to keep it. He doesn't even like it all that much, but he can't seem to bring himself to part with it. So if he could just get it in this closet somehow, they both win.

"I'm just saying, man, she's not gonna like it." Sam states the obvious from his post in the doorway, dutifully keeping his eye out for Kensi.

"Yeah, well, she's also probably not gonna find it," Deeks glances back at Sam, "I consider it one of the few benefits of moving in with a hoarder."

Shaking his head, Sam chuckles, "And what exactly do you call trying to keep something you don't even want but won't get rid of?"

Slowly lowering the picture to the floor, letting the frame in the floor with a soft thud, Deeks turns to Sam and drops his gaze to the floor in defeat.

"Damn it."


	17. Here and Now

_first sentence meme  
from Hoosier65 – "You really want to do this, Deeks? Here and now?"_

* * *

"You really want to do this, Deeks? Here and now?" Kensi can't hide her disbelief at what just happened.

Because she thinks her boyfriend of two years just proposed.  
While lying on a gurney.  
In an ambulance.  
With a gunshot wound in his leg.

His head lolls to the side and he looks from her hand gripping his to her wide eyes.

"This isn't exactly how I pictured doing this," he admits as he sucks in a quick breath. _God, getting shot hurts like a bitch_.

"Then…why?" Kensi prompts gently, her voice barely above a whisper as she brushes hair out of his face and lets her fingers trail down his cheek.

He squeezes her hand, "Figured if something happens to me," he sighs and averts his gaze from hers. His voice is low and almost sounds embarrassed, "at least I'd know you wanted to marry me."

Kensi lifts the hand she's holding to her lips as she presses soft kisses to his knuckles. Did he really not know that already? She's never been more sure of anything in her life.

"Deeks," she tugs lightly on his hair when he won't look at her. "Marty."

He looks to her then – he can't resist her when she calls him by his first name.

"First of all," she starts, a small smile forming on her face, "they already said you're going to be fine. You just need stitches and some rest."

"And second of all, I'm not answering that question right now," she reaches to cradle his face in her hands, forcing him to maintain eye contact, "because I don't want you to ask as an overreaction to getting injured. I want you to make whatever simple, crazy, or extravagant plans I'm sure you've already thought up."

She leans forward to kiss his forehead, "And I want you to ask even though you already know the answer."

"That's not a 'no,'" confidence seeping back into his voice.

Kensi rolls her eyes and chuckles, "That's not a no. It's not even a maybe. It's an, 'ask me when you're really ready.' I'll be waiting."

Deeks exhales loudly and the smile he gives her is bright, despite the pain he's in.

"Okay."


	18. Need

_Based on a prompt from thelittlepterophyllum on tumblr (and also based on my current hatred for Hetty) – Deeks gets injured because of Hetty's poor decisions and Hetty has to face the wrath girlfriend-Kensi._

_Takes place mid-2016. Established Densi, of course. And for the sake of this story, Kensi eventually found out the truth about her Afghanistan mission._

* * *

"You need to leave."

Kensi's voice is hard and bitter and she barely glances in the direction of her diminutive boss as she steps into the hospital room. Hetty's eyes flick from the still form of her bruised and battered LAPD liaison to the steely profile of her junior agent seated beside the bed, holding his hand in hers.

"Excuse me?" Hetty appears visibly taken aback by Kensi's demeanor.

Her eyes never leave her boyfriend's face. The bruises, the broken jaw, the swelling that makes him practically unrecognizable – all of it fuels her anger and she needs that anger, otherwise all she's left with is the suffocating fear that she's moments away from losing him.

Turning her head just enough to shoot a fiery glare at the woman she's worked under for almost seven years, Kensi takes a deep, shaky breath, "You heard me, Hetty. You _need_ to _leave_," her words are clipped, spoken through clenched teeth.

Hetty squares her shoulders and fixes her gaze on Kensi, "I understand this has not been an easy week, but—"

Kensi huffs, "Don't you _dare_ try to minimize what this week has been like for me and especially for him," she points sharply at Deeks in his comatose state, her voice breaking. "There are more bruises on his body than I can count. He has over a hundred stitches, a broken jaw, four broken ribs, a shattered kneecap, and so much internal bleeding, the doctors are surprised he didn't die before he got here."

"This week has been hell," she finishes and turns away sharply, silently cursing the tears she can't keep at bay.

Hetty nods, her patience for Kensi's hostility waning, "Our job is not without its dangers – dangers that Detective Deeks, andyou yourself, are well aware of."

Kensi scoffs.

_Aware_.

They chose this life – of course they're aware of the risks and the necessity in putting oneself into perilous situations. They're aware that injuries are inevitable and that there's always a chance they may not make it through alive.

What they were not aware of is that there would be times that they would be faced with dangers far beyond anything they are trained and equipped to handle and that they would be ordered to carry out the mission despite their questions and protests.

They weren't aware that their boss could be so focused on the mission that she would lose sight of the importance of keeping her agents as safe and prepared as possible.

Though she didn't know it at the time, Kensi had learned that lesson two years ago in a cold cave halfway around the world.

This time, it was Deeks.

And as far as Kensi is concerned, their boss – who had overstayed her welcome in the hospital room before she even opened the door – is to blame.

"Isn't that part of the problem, Hetty?" Kensi spits out. "That we were _aware_?"

Hetty looks as though she is about to respond but when Kensi hastily stands up out of the chair she has barely left in the past four days, she chooses to remain silent.

"Deeks knew that we were not in a good position to move forward with this op. He knew they wouldn't buy his cover. He knew something like this was going to happen. He _told_ you all of that," Kensi's voice is low but firm as she stands with her back to their operations manager, staring out the window at the setting sun.

She remembers back to the night before the op started; the way that Deeks had been so restless and worried, his blue eyes dark with a mix of fear and anxiety. They had gone to the beach, hoping the gentle sound of the crashing waves would help to calm his nerves but Kensi could see his mind was everywhere but there.

. . . .

"_Talk to me," she pleads, "What do you need me to do?"_

_Deeks sighs and pulls her back to rest against his chest as he sits in the sand. Kissing her shoulder before placing his chin there, he takes a deep breath and speaks softly, "When this goes sideways, just promise you'll get me out. Whatever state I'm in…just…get me out."_

_Kensi doesn't miss how he says 'when' instead of 'if'_ _and she hates that he feels so defeated already. She curses Hetty for putting him in this position; for not listening to the concerns that the entire team had about the mission._

_She rests her arms over his as they squeeze her midsection and seeks out his hands, lacing their fingers together. Turning her head, she presses a soft kiss to his cheek before resting her forehead against his temple._

"_I promise," she whispers._

_. . . ._

The next morning, he'd gone under.

The night after that, he missed his scheduled check-in.

When the team stormed his last known location, Sam had been the first to spot him. He was bloody and barely conscious and when Kensi rushed to him, she saw the look of relief in his eyes.

That was four days ago, and Kensi hasn't left his side since the EMTs loaded him into the ambulance. He has been in a coma just as long. The doctors tell her that every day he hangs on is proof that he should pull out of this.

She'll believe it when she sees his blue eyes again, the smug grin plastered on his face, and his hand reaching for hers.

"Kensi…" Hetty interrupts her thoughts.

Vigorously shaking her head, Kensi faces her boss again, "Don't justify this by telling me that he was aware of the risks when it was your decision to ignore his concerns that ultimately put him in that bed."

Hetty is unable to hide the flash of surprise that crosses her face and Kensi's eyes widen ever so slightly, giving away that she is just as stunned at the verbal lashing she just unleashed.

"Miss Blye," Hetty snaps, regaining some composure, "you are out of line. You are letting your personal relationship with Mr. Deeks cloud your judgment and I will not have one of my agents speak to me in such a manner."

Kensi chuckles humorlessly and moves across the room to stand in front of Hetty. Looking down at her with an icy glare, she reaches into her pocket for her badge and ID and then around to the small of her back for her SIG. Without hesitation, she holds them out to Hetty.

"It's my relationship with him that is making me see things clearly for the first time in a long time. Consider this my resignation."

Speechless, Hetty slowly reaches for the leather wallet and the gun.

"I love my job, Hetty," Kensi breaks the heated silence. Her voice is gentler and filled with more somber emotion, "but I love Deeks more, and I can't continue working for someone who isn't doing all they can to look out for me or him or our team. Twenty, thirty years from now, I won't have this job anymore, but God-willing, I will have him."

Nodding in defeat, Hetty gives Kensi a sad look and turns to leave. "I'm sorry, Kensi," regret evident in her voice, "I never intended for any of this to happen."

Kensi's only response is a quick glance towards the door before returning to her seat beside Deeks. When she hears the door click shut, she drops her head to the mattress, taking a few deep breaths.

"Why did you do that?"

Her head snaps up at the strained, raspy voice coming from her boyfriend-slash-(ex?) partner as his eyes flutter open. Suddenly, her vision is clouded with tears and she finally feels like she can breathe.

"Oh my god. You're awake. Are you in pain?" She stands up and squeezes his arm, "I need to go get a nurse."

Deeks grabs for her hand to stop her from leaving, "Kens, you….you _quit_…" Disbelief is written all over his face.

"I don't need her," she shrugs as her eyes meet his, "I need you."

She doesn't know how much he heard, but put as simply as possible, that's what it comes down to.

He's everything she never knew she needed.


	19. Sexy

_prompt from Anonymous on tumblr – "You're so sexy when you do that."  
Inspired by some interview that ECO's wife, Sarah, did and she mentioned he's obsessive about vacuuming. And because ECO has nice arms. And his ass isn't too bad either.  
_

* * *

"You're so sexy when you do that."

Deeks turns around as he unplugs the vacuum cleaner and finds Kensi leaning somewhat lopsidedly against the back of his front door. Apparently her night out with the girls ended earlier than usual.

"I'm sexy when I do a lot of things, Kens," he shoots a cocky grin at his obviously tipsy girlfriend. "You'll need to be more specific."

It takes her three attempts to push herself off the door before she shuffles across the room and smacks him on the ass on her way to the kitchen.

"That," she clarifies as she points to the vacuum as she disappears through the doorway.

He opens his mouth to respond then closes it with a quiet huff. He puckers his lips and squints at the vacuum and then in the direction of the kitchen before looking back at the vacuum.

It's not uncommon for him to learn random, crazy, and unexpected things from Kensi when she is less-than-sober, but this may top the list.

Dropping the cord, Deeks follows her and walks into the kitchen just as she finishes chugging a glass of water.

"I'm sexy when I vacuum?"

Kensi nods emphatically, "I get to see your ass a lot. And it makes your arms look muscley."

He laughs, shaking his head in amusement, "And it has nothing to do with you not liking to vacuum?"

She snorts, "Maybe a little…but it's mostly the arms."

"So I should flex more when I vacuum? He teases her as she walks slowly toward the bedroom.

Turning her head to look back at him, she winks, "Wouldn't hurt."


	20. I Want A Baby

_prompt from Anonymous on tumblr - "I want a baby"_

* * *

"I want a baby."

Deeks practically drops their pizza as he walks in the door of their house. His eyes snap to his wife who is standing a few steps away, a look of trepidation on her beautiful face.

"You want a _what_?"

He's not sure he heard her right. She had to have said something else – maybe the sound of his keys and the door garbled what she actually said. Because there's no way _she_ said _that_.

When Kensi opens her mouth to say…something, Deeks quickly shakes his head, "Hold on. Let me…" his sentence trails off as he hurries into the kitchen to deposit the pizza boxes on the counter before returning to the living room.

"I mean, that's normal, right?" she sounds like she's trying to convince herself as much as she may be trying to convince him. "We've been married for a couple of years, we're happy…it makes sense, doesn't it?"

As she paces back and forth across the room, wringing her hands and looking everywhere but at him, Deeks tries to gather his thoughts as quickly as possible. This is not a topic of conversation that Kensi usually willingly participates in, let alone initiates, and he's desperate not to say anything that may make her shut down.

He exhales, "You want…a baby?"

Kensi's breath hitches and she finally stops pacing as she looks towards her husband, her face twisted in uncertainty.

"Maybe?" she shrugs, "I…I think so?"

Moving to stand in front of her, Deeks reaches for her hands, "Kens…"

"I uhh…" she sighs and gives him a soft smile, "I know I always said I didn't know if I would ever want kids. But yesterday, when I took Monty for a walk, I saw this family playing on the beach – mom, dad, little girl – and I just couldn't take my eyes off them. I don't even know what it was about them…but the the desire I suddenly felt for that to be us is overwhelming. And scary as hell."

Deeks chuckles and leans forward to press a soft kiss to her lips. He kind of loves that after so many years, she can still throw curveballs his way.

"I want that to be us too."

They'll have to talk about a lot of things if they're really going to do this, but they'll figure it out.

They always do.


	21. Wedding Night

_prompt from Anonymous on tumblr - Densi wedding night_

* * *

"That was awesome," Deeks says with a satisfied huff as he flops down on the oversized bed.

"You said that already. At least five times," Kensi's voice is muffled by the pillow her face is buried in. She doesn't remember the last time she felt so worn out – and that's saying something given their line of work.

He chuckles and turns onto his side, running his hand up and down her arm stretched out beside him, "Well, it was. I'd go as far as to say it was perfect." He scoots closer to her and presses a lingering kiss to her bare shoulder, "And you looked beautiful, Mrs. Deeks."

She lifts her head and turns to face him then, he's called her that at least five times too, like he can't get enough of it. She reaches out and pulls herself closer to him, tucking her head underneath his chin and smiles to herself.

_Mrs. Deeks_

She can't get enough of it either.

She was his wife. He was her husband. They got _married_.

Especially for a day that, for so long, had never really seemed to be in either of their futures, it _was_ perfect. A small, quiet ceremony on the beach followed by a small, not-so-quiet reception with dinner, dancing, and cake. Then there was the after-party that found them at one of their favorite local bars, still dressed to the nines.

And now, hours later, here they are in their posh, fully-appointed hotel room. They're lying together amongst the fluffy comforter and countless pillows, his hands lazily tracing patterns on her arms and upper back, her lips leaving a few soft kisses to the space above his heart.

_Perfect_.

Except…

"Shouldn't we be having sex?" Deeks voices the very question that had just run through her mind.

Kensi groans. _Who knew getting married was so exhausting?_

"I'm just so…tired," she can't even summon the strength to sound sorry about it as she nestles further into his arms and rubs his back through the white button-down shirt he's still wearing.

She feels his body shake with laughter, "Oh thank God."

Tilting her head back to look at him, Kensi laughs too, "Sleep now?" she asks with a yawn.

"Sleep now," Deeks agrees with a nod and a yawn of his own, "Married sex in the morning."

"Sounds perfect," she yawns again, her eyes already shut and her voice barely above a whisper.

Kissing her forehead, Deeks closes his eyes to let sleep claim him.

"Goodnight, Wifey."

"'Night, Hubby."


	22. Magic Marty

_prompt from Anonymous on tumblr – "__I know you don't like dancing, but please? For me?"  
I didn't use the quote exactly because it didn't fit in quite right, but the point of the story is the same _

* * *

"Kensi, no!" The protest is muffled by his pillow as he falls rather ungracefully onto the bed.

He knows he sounds like a whiny five-year-old and he also knows he's going to give in sooner than later but he figures he should put up a bit of a fight anyway.

"Please? For me?"

Despite the pleading nature of the questions, he can practically hear the smugness in her voice, because she also knows that he's going to give in eventually.

Looking up at his girlfriend only confirms that she is in fact smirking at him as she leans back against the headboard. She's also fully clothed, which he finds deplorable – mostly because she's hell-bent on getting what she wants first.

He lets out a long groan and drops his head onto her stomach. Nudging at the hem of her tank top with his nose, he starts dropping feather-light kisses to the skin he's exposed at her hips. Maybe if he can get her sufficiently distracted, she'll forget—

"Hey," she laughs and tugs gently on his hair, forcing his lips from her body and his eyes to hers, "None of that."

Deeks sighs.

"Okay."

"Okay?" Kensi sounds both surprised and giddy.

"Only because I love you."

The smile she gives him then is softer, almost shy.

"And just this once," he insists.

Her grin becomes more mischievous and she winks at him, "We'll see."

Pushing himself off the bed with a huff, he picks up his phone and starts thumbing through his music selection. Finding something that will suffice, he places it on his bedside table and presses play.

"Wait!"

Deeks reaches down to pause the song, confused at her sudden outburst. But before he can ask, he sees her pulling out a small wad of one dollar bills from her bag on the floor.

"_Really_?" He prods, unable to hide the amusement in his voice.

Kensi's casual shrug contrasts the playful spark in her eyes, "Helping you go method."

"How thoughtful of you," he deadpans. "Ready now?"

At her over-enthusiastic nod, he taps his phone and the music begins again. Letting his hips start swinging to the beat, he meets her gaze as he reaches for the hem of his t-shirt.

"Come on, Magic Marty. Show me whatcha got."


	23. You Came Back (6x16)

_tumblr meme response – "You came back."_

_Tag to 6x16, 'Expiration Date' (alternate/extended ending)_

* * *

As he leans against the edge of Kensi's desk, he lets his eyes roam over the warm-colored walls of the mission. The entire building is basically empty – that's what happens when your day runs long thanks to battling a team of rogue ghurkas in the hospital while trying to protect your friends. And losing one of them in the process.

His heart constricts at that thought and he feels the sting behind his eyes as the tears begin to gather. Maybe he'll stop fighting them eventually, but not now – not here – even if he is alone.

Except he's not alone, he realizes, as his gaze falls back to the doors he had watched her out of just a couple of minutes ago. He can make out the soft curves of her body and the familiar cadence of her gait as she walks towards him.

She hesitates in making her way back to the bullpen, unsure if he even wants the company right now. She hadn't even gotten into her car before turning around and walking back inside. She doesn't want him to pretend to be okay – he shouldn't have to now, not when he has her.

"You came back," he says softly when she leans against the desk next to him. His voice is sad but relieved.

"I shouldn't have left," she says just as quietly, shifting so that their bodies are pressed together from shoulder to hip, her hand resting on his thigh.

He looks down at her, releasing a slow, shaky breath, and he wishes they weren't still at work because all he wants to do right now is to wrap her up in his arms. He wants to feel her hands around his waist, the strong beat of her heart, and the way her head fits perfectly under his chin – quiet reminders that even though he lost a friend today, he isn't alone.

Then he remembers their first fight this morning. He'll do anything to make sure he doesn't push her away – even if it means dealing with Thapa's death by himself tonight.

"I'll be okay, Kens," the way his voice breaks betrays the reassuring nature of his words.

"I know," she nods, "but you don't have to be okay tonight. And you don't have to do it alone."

The barely-there smile and grateful look in his eyes let her know that this is what he needs. She realizes that it's exactly what she needs too.

Gently bumping his shoulder with hers, she offers him a small smile in return and repeats her question from earlier, "Your place or mine?"

"Doesn't matter," he exhales as he pushes himself off the desk and wraps his arm around her shoulders to pull her with him, "I'll be home either way."


	24. Come Home With Me (5x19)

_tumblr meme response - "Come home with me."_

_Tag to 5x19, 'Spoils of War'_

* * *

After four months and one week, she's not sure what she expected, but for some reason, it's not that everything would look the same as it did when she left. And yet, the palm trees are still standing tall along the roads, the ocean waves still crash along the shore, and there are still people bustling about everywhere she looks.

As Kensi leans against the hard glass of the passenger side window, she fights back the urge to cry at how unfair it all seems. Unfair that while she was overseas having her life turned upside down and sideways, life back in LA has been going along like she had never even lived there in the first place.

She can feel her partner's eyes on her for a brief moment – he has been throwing glances her way every few minutes since they left Edwards almost two hours ago, as though he needs to make sure she's still here. They've barely spoken since leaving Afghanistan, their time riddled with fitful sleep and the inability to find any words to say to each other, but it's an oddly comfortable silence. It seems that after so much time apart, there is a level of contentment to just be near each other.

When Deeks turns onto her road, she's suddenly overcome a myriad of emotions at the realization that once she gets out of the car, she's supposed to rejoin this world that has been going on without her. She doesn't know how she can do that when so much of _her_ world has been shaken up.

"Come home with me," she whispers, unable to mask the desperation behind her plea.

He looks startled, either at her request or simply because it's the first time she's said anything in hours. His expression quickly turns soft and the understanding that reflects in his eyes comforts her.

Taking a deep breath, Deeks reaches across the center console, seeking out her hand, relieved when he feels her readily grasp at his fingers.

"Of course," he squeezes her hand, "As long as you want me there, I'll be there."

Fighting back more tears, Kensi nods as he pulls up in front of her house. She steps out of the car as he grabs their bags from the trunk and makes his way over to her. She can't stop staring at the modest bungalow in front of her and she wonders why she feels so nervous about going into her own home.

She feels Deeks' arm brush hers and she instinctively grabs onto his hand, needing him to help steady her.

"I…I don't…what do I do now?" Her voice breaks as she stands there, unable to move.

Deeks drops the bags and tugs on their joined hands until she turns into him as his arms wrap around her shoulders. When he feels her arms tighten around his waist, he presses a lingering kiss to the side of her head.

After a few minutes, he speaks softly, "We go inside, order dinner, catch up on all the crappy reality TV on your DVR, and go to sleep. We can figure out the rest tomorrow."

After a hellish trip halfway around the world, pieces of both of them left in the desert, he just wants tonight to be as normal as it can be. It's what they both need.

"Thank you," Kensi's voice is muffled by his chest but the gratefulness in her tone is unmistakable.

"Anything for you, partner," he drops a quick kiss to her temple, "anything for you."


	25. Someday (6x03)

_tumblr meme response - "You know, it's okay to cry."_

_Tag to 6x03, 'Praesidium'_

* * *

"You know, it's okay to cry…" Deeks trails off as he finally says out loud the thing he's wanted to tell her since they were in the boatshed earlier.

"Hmm?" Kensi doesn't lift her head but Deeks feels her body tense ever so slightly at his statement and he's sure she knows what he's talking about.

They're sitting on Kensi's couch watching television, but not _really_ watching it. Kensi is tucked into his side, her head resting on his shoulder while his arm is wrapped loosely around her waist. Neither one of them has any clue as to the exact status of their relationship that isn't officially a relationship, but they're spending more and more of their nights after work cuddled up on one of their couches, sharing dinner and falling asleep in a jumble of limbs and bodies and pillows.

"Earlier," he elaborates, "you said you were tougher than this. And you are, Kens, you're one of the toughest people I've ever known. But you don't have to be over what happened. Being tough doesn't mean you can't cry – that you can't feel pain and hurt and sadness."

He pauses to press a light kiss to her hair and he feels her nod against his chest.

"I know," she whispers so quietly he almost doesn't hear her.

"The struggles, the experiences that leave you feeling vulnerable," Deeks tightens his grip on her body, "they just make your strength that much more amazing."

Not trusting herself to say anything, Kensi nestles further into his side and lets out a shaky breath. She's been facing the world, more or less alone, since she was fifteen years old and even though she's had her partner for four years now, she's still getting used to the idea that there is someone she trusts as deeply as she trusts him and whose support of her is unwavering.

She lifts her head to look at him and the understanding she sees in his eyes sends a rush of warmth through her body. She can't work up the courage to say it, but she doesn't know what she'd do without him. Giving him a tiny smile, she puts her head back on his shoulder and relaxes into his embrace.

_Someday_, she thinks.

Someday she'll tell him what he means to her.

Someday they'll figure out this thing of theirs.

Kensi's eyes drift closed as she feels Deeks press another kiss to her head and in her sleepy state, she's not sure if she imagines the reassurances he whispers into her hair, "I've got you, Kens. I've always got you."

Hopefully someday will come soon.


	26. Nuestra Casa

_This started as a long forgotten first-sentence prompt from myself that morphed into this general idea that I thought would be just a couple hundred words and then I started writing and things got away from me a little._

_And though I haven't disclaimed a lot of my recent chapters – I still don't own anything other than the DVDs._

* * *

"Shit."

Deeks is startled awake at the sound of an ungraceful thud against his front door joined by the not-so-hushed curse.

Blinking his eyes to regain his bearings he realizes he must have fallen asleep on the couch. A quick glance at his TV tells him it's nearing 1am and there's now some infomercial playing on whatever channel he had been watching earlier.

Hearing more noises coming from the other side of the door, he instinctively reaches for his weapon and pushes himself off the couch. He's pretty sure he knows who is causing the ruckus outside his apartment, even though she is supposed to be spending the night at her own place.

When he makes his way over to the door and peers through the peephole, his suspicions are confirmed at the sight of a mess of dark waves that cover her face as slender fingers fumble with her phone.

"Are you here for a booty call, pretty girl?" he smirks as he opens the door, "Because I'm almost positive we are past that point in our relationship."

Kensi's head snaps up and she rolls her eyes good-naturedly but her expression quickly morphs into one that seems pensive and uncertain.

"Kens, come inside," he says, choosing to ignore the look on her face, as he reaches for her arm, tugging gently to get her to move.

She stumbles forward before his arm wraps around her waist, steadying her as he guides her inside to the couch. She looks lost in thought as he bends down to take off her shoes and he wonders if she's going to voice whatever is clearly on her mind.

"Fun night with the Cupcake Girls?" he teases.

Kensi chuckles, "It was my early birthday celebration, apparently."

"Ah, so a _very_ fun night."

She nods silently and bites at her top lip, clearly nervous about something, even in her inebriated state.

"You going to tell me what's on your mind or do you want to go to bed? Maybe tackle whatever it is in the morning when I'm more awake and you're less drunk?" He winces a bit when his words come out sounding entirely more irritated than he intended but if Kensi notices, she doesn't react. He's just so very tired and now that she's here, he kind of just wants to go curl up in bed with her.

She stands up carefully, gripping his shoulder for support and reaches for his hand.

A few minutes later, as they're getting comfortable and Deeks feels himself already drifting off to sleep, Kensi lets out a slow breath and he can practically hear the wheels turning in her head. Before he can make the decision to push her to talk, she whispers slurred words between them that make his heart drop.

"This isn't working anymore."

Deeks can't stop the way his body tenses and Kensi pulls back, seemingly unaware of what she said and how it sounded, but more than aware of her boyfriend's reaction to it.

"This? Us?" He asks with a shaky breath, quite terrified to actually know the answer, but there's no sleeping now and he really needs her to elaborate.

"What?" Her eyes widen and she pulls back even more, "Deeks! No!"

He's still staring at her, holding his breath, when he sees realization wash over her face at how her confession must have sounded to him.

"Oh God," she squeezes her eyes closed, "You were right, we should have done this in the morning."

"So…not us? We're okay?" He's breathing a little easier now and feels a small sense of relief, but he still has no idea what she meant.

Needing to reassure him, Kensi scoots over, pressing herself as close to him as she can get and hugs him for all she's worth, dropping a kiss to his bare chest.

"Never us. We're _great_."

Deeks allows his arms to wrap around her then and he exhales loudly, "Then, what isn't working?"

"Our nights off," she tilts her head back and gives him a soft, almost embarrassed smile, "They don't have to be the _whole _night, right? I don't like sleeping by myself anymore."

He can't stop the chuckle that escapes him and soon he's laughing harder than he has in a long time. The revelation that she essentially wants to spend _more_ time with him after he thought she was trying to break up with him leaves him unable to do much else.

"Is that why you came here?" He asks when he catches his breath and Kensi nods sheepishly. "You're always welcome here, Kensalina – _Mi casa es tu casa_ – you know that."

Deeks leans down to kiss her forehead and next words out of her mouth are spoken so softly, he almost misses them.

"And if I want _tu casa_ to be _nuestra casa_?"

For the second time in the past few minutes, Deeks isn't sure he heard her correctly. He looks down at her, and her eyes are boring into his, willing him to say something.

"Are you… Do you want…" He takes a deep breath as amusement flashes across Kensi's face at his inability to find the words he wants to say. "You want to live here? With me?"

Kensi shrugs nonchalantly, "Well, with Monty, really. But it's not like I can ask him to kick you out on the street."

"Touché," he chuckles before reaching out and running his hand through her hair, "You really want to move in with me?"

She smiles that perfect smile he loves and leans in, whispering against his lips, "Let's be shipmates."


	27. Probie

_prompt on tumblr - from Anon - "I took a pregnancy test"  
_

* * *

Deeks opens the front door slowly, hoping not to disturb his wife who had stayed home sick from work today. As he makes his way into the living room, he finds her lying on the couch, awake but looking rather worn out.

"Hey," she says when she sees him. Her voice is raspy and she clears her throat as she moves to sit up.

"Hey you," he returns the greeting, keeping his voice soft. He sits down on the couch next to her feet, "Don't get up."

Kensi shakes her head and pushes herself upright, "I'm fine."

Before he can chastise her for claiming to be "fine" when she looks anything but, she speaks again but this time she sounds nervous and she's looking everywhere but at him.

"I uh…I took a pregnancy test today."

After a few seconds of total silence, she manages to make herself look at her husband of two years to see him staring at her – wide-eyed and slack-jawed. He also appears to be speechless, so she does what he would do to fill the quiet, she rambles.

"Um…after you left for work, I was lying in bed feeling pretty crappy. It dawned on me that I was, um, I was like a week late. And so, I uh…"

"You took a pregnancy test," Deeks finishes for her, the scared-shitless look still plastered to his face. "And um…are we gonna… Are you…?"

He wants this. He wants this so badly, he can't even finish the question because he's terrified of the answer. If he wasn't so terrified, he'd laugh at himself because he realizes he's scared to find out either way. If she's not pregnant, he knows they'll both be disappointed and he hates seeing her sad. And if she _is_, well then he'll be scared because they'll be _having a freaking baby_.

Kensi clears her throat again, this time to get his attention. When he meets her gaze, she shifts her eyes to the coffee table in front of him. His eyes fall to an object she must have placed there while he was lost in thought.

It's a tiny navy blue t-shirt with 'PROBIE' printed across the front in bold, white letters.

His breath hitches and he looks over to see her with the broadest smile he thinks he's ever seen.

"Happy birthday, _Daddy_."


	28. Best Idea Ever

_This came out of a prompt on tumblr from maybemadmarie. And I was inspired by The Black Polo thanks to our viewing of _Deadline_ on Friday._

* * *

"This is a bad idea, Kens."

Deeks exhales loudly as he tries to remember _why_ this is a bad idea. He can't think straight with his girlfriend's hands pushing their way under the hem of his shirt and her lips peppering kisses along his jaw.

When his back hits the solid door behind him, his eyes open at the contact and he catches sight of the paper targets they had been shooting at just a few minutes ago. He suddenly remembers exactly why there is a problem with their current situation.

_Shooting range. At work. We're in the shooting range at work._

"Like, really bad."

Kensi smirks against his skin as her hands leave his waist and drift up into the hair at the nape of his neck, pulling him down so she can press a firm kiss to his lips. Deeks can't stop his hands from reaching for her hips and pulling her closer as he moves his mouth against hers.

He has a hard time resisting her under normal circumstances, but this Kensi – the one who comes onto him and smells overwhelmingly like fresh gunpowder – she's intoxicating and he feels powerless against her.

His hands drift up her sides and the way her breath hitches slightly when his thumbs graze the side of her breasts bring him back down to Earth.

_Damn it…why are we still at work?_

He groans against her lips, "Seriously, worst idea ever."

Kensi stops kissing him but doesn't pull back and he can feel her chest brushing against his as she laughs. It's seriously distracting and he's starting to think about throwing caution to the wind and dragging her into the armory when she finally says something.

"It's late - there's no one else here," she winks, "Plus, I thought you had fantasies about us making out at work?" She links her hands around his neck and leans back to look at him.

"Oh I did…I do," he nods, "But apparently, I wasn't thinking about how making out with you usually leads to other things. Very work-inappropriate things."

Kensi smiles and drops her head to his chest.

"And I _really _wasn't thinking you'd actually go along with it…let alone start it."

She looks up and him and smiles sheepishly, "It's your shirt…"

"Oh yeah?" Deeks looks down at the simple black polo he had grabbed out of his closet this morning. "You like this, huh?"

"I do," she blushes, "You should wear it more often."

He leans down, nudging her nose with his, "Why? So you can daydream about taking it off me?"

Any reply Kensi might have had is cut off as he closes the minimal space between their lips and she thinks he might be trying to devour her. She suddenly wishes she hadn't started this because she really does want to take that shirt off of him.

"Let's go home," she mumbles against his mouth.

"Best idea ever."


	29. Little Treasures

_Because today (July 29th) is Kensi's birthday and because a few weeks ago a Densi discussion on tumblr turned into hermionesmydawg mentioning a box of "important" things that she likes to think Kensi keeps at Deeks' house, I give you this._

_As usual, I still down own them._

* * *

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you…"

Kensi's mind is still foggy from sleep when she hears the low murmur of her boyfriend's voice as he drops soft kisses to her shoulder.

"Happy birthday, Kensalinaaaaa…"

She doesn't open her eyes as she feels the smile tugging at her lips and Deeks' scruff on her chin as his mouth works his way along her jaw.

"Happy birthday to you."

His lips meet hers in a lazy kiss that she feels all the way to her toes. When she feels him pull back, her eyes slowly open to see him lying just inches away, their noses almost touching.

"Hi," she says with a yawn.

"Morning, Birthday Girl," Deeks leans forward and pecks her on the nose.

Yawning again, she stretches her legs and reaches for his arm, giving it a quick squeeze. "You wake me up early just to sing to me?"

He shakes his head, "And to give you your presents before we have to go to work. And—" The quiet but obvious rumble of Kensi's stomach interrupts him and he snorts, "…And to make you breakfast in bed. I was going to do presents first, but it sounds like there may be objections to that."

Her eyes light up at the mention of gifts and she shakes her head, "No, no. You can do presents first."

Deeks pushes himself off the bed and ducks into "his" corner of her closet. It was risky – hiding her gifts in her own room – but he figured there was less of a chance she'd notice them amongst her mess than if they had been at his place.

When he turns around to face her, he's holding a small, unwrapped shoebox that he can tell she recognizes instantly. She opens her mouth as if she wants to say something, but she closes it when she can't find the words.

"I know you were hiding this in my closet, but I found it weeks ago and it gave me an idea for your gift so…" he shrugs and hands her the box, hoping she's not too upset that he found her little stash.

Kensi cradles the slightly tattered cardboard in her lap and gives him a small, genuine smile, "I wasn't _hiding_ it, per se. I just haven't shown it to you."

She takes the lid off and slowly sifts through the contents – the small dried and pressed fern branch that she'll deny having since he first gave her that potted fern years ago, a candid picture of the two of them that Michelle had snapped at the ice rink last Christmas, a pinecone that she'd found on the porch of their cabin up at Mammoth, the ticket stub from their first movie date, a seashell she took from the beach after he'd told her he loved her for the first time – small, but meaningful pieces of their story.

Deeks finds himself frozen as he watches her get lost in her own world as she looks through the box. His heart swells at the vulnerability he sees in her. He knows what it means that he gets to see this side of his Kickass Kensalina.

"So," he clears his throat and reaches behind him for the second part of her gift, "after I found your little treasures, I thought they deserved a better place for safekeeping."

What he places on the bed next to her takes Kensi's breath away. It's a beautiful, handcrafted wooden chest, about twice the size of the box she has in her lap. Stained a rich, dark chestnut color, it has a weathered brass lock and, "K+M" carved neatly in one corner of the hinged top.

"Wow," her voice is breathless, "Did you make this?"

"I did," he replies, a hint of pride in his tone, "I, umm…Sam helped me a little. We did it at his house. He tried to talk me into some military grade safe—"

Kensi snorts and reaches to lace her fingers with his, "This is perfect. I love it." Then she tugs at his hand and pulls him down for a kiss. "And I love you," she mumbles against his mouth.

"Love you too, Kens," Deeks smiles and gives her a kiss on the forehead as he stands up, "Happy Birthday."


	30. Take Mine

_prompt from tumblr - "Take Mine"_

_I still own nothing._

* * *

"Take mine."

Kensi's head snaps to where her partner sits next to her as they crouch behind a stack of wooden crates. She wonders if maybe the sudden cease of gunfire has affected her hearing because she can't wrap her head around what she thinks he just said.

"What?" She glares at him.

Deeks finishes reloading his weapon and turns it in his hand before holding it out to her.

"Take it."

Shaking her head furiously, Kensi refuses to take the proffered gun. "Deeks, no," she hisses.

"Kensi," his eyes plead with hers but his voice is firm, "he took yours and you can't fight bullets with your knife."

"And you can't fight them with _nothing_."

Deeks sighs and forces the weapon into her hand and then reaches for his extra round of ammo to give to her as well.

"You have my back?" He asks the question that he already knows the answer to.

Kensi exhales and gives him a tired look, knowing she's losing this battle, "Always."

"Then I'm not fighting bullets with nothing," he reaches out to squeeze her hand not holding his gun and offers a small smile. "Now, we need a way to get out that door," he gestures towards the other side of the warehouse. The man shooting at them quite literally stands between them and their only way out. "So I'm going to draw his fire and it should leave him open for you to take him down."

Kensi closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, "I don't like this plan."

"I know," Deeks nods, "but it's the only one we have."

Kensi holds his gaze for a beat and then shuffles over to the other corner of the crate, getting herself into the optimal position to take her shot. She looks back to Deeks, "Ready?"

"Let's do this, I'd really like to make our dinner reservations tonight," he smirks at her, pleased when a small chuckle escapes her lips. "On my count…three…two…one."

. . . .

"I still say we could have gone to dinner," Deeks huffs as he lowers himself onto his couch.

Kensi gives him a pointed look, "You got shot!"

"Okay, first of all, I was _grazed_ – I didn't even need stitches!" he exclaims as he examines the fresh wound on his bicep. "And B, do you know how long it took me to get those reservations? I wanted today to be special."

Kensi smiles at the mention of today – their first anniversary – and settles on the couch next to him, resting her head on his uninjured shoulder and squeezing his thigh. He's here, he's alive – that's special enough for her.

She reaches for the remote to turn on the TV and as the sounds of one of his Indiana Jones fills the living room, he pulls her even further into his side and kisses the top of her head.

"This is all I need," she says softly.

He smiles against her hair and kisses her again, "Happy Anniversary, Kens."

"Happy Anniversary," she grabs her beer and holds it out, waiting for the _clink_ of their bottles meeting between them.

Deeks lets out a disgruntled sigh, "I left mine in the kitchen."

Kensi tilts her head up to plant a kiss on his cheek and hold her beer out to him.

"Take mine."


	31. Thank You

_one sentence prompt from tumblr - "Pull over. Let me drive for a while."_

_As always, I don't own anything._

* * *

Sam can't keep himself from casting worried glances towards the silent detective as they're speeding down the freeway in the Challenger. Deeks' knuckles are white from his firm grip on the steering wheel and Sam isn't sure if he's even really paying attention to the road or where they're going.

"Deeks," he says carefully as he places his hand gently on Deeks' shoulder, "Why don't you pull over. Let me drive for a while."

They're still an hour out from LA and while Sam knows that Deeks is trying to use the drive as a distraction, he also knows that it's not distracting enough.

. . . .

_Stepping out of the house that belonged to the family of their victim, Deeks pulls out his phone and immediately notices an influx of missed calls, texts, and a handful of voice messages. Dialing the number for the last missed call, he gets a frantic Eric on the other end._

"_Eric! Calm down. What's going on?"_

_He doesn't comprehend many words that fly out of the tech operator's mouth but he latches on to the ones that matter._

_Kensi. Shot. Hospital. Surgery._

_He hangs up just as Sam steps outside, keys to the Challenger already in hand. Without even pausing to tell Sam what had happened – since he isn't even totally sure himself – Deeks grabs the keys, tells Sam they need to go _now_, and they are pulling out of the driveway before Sam even shuts the passenger side door._

. . . .

"Deeks," Sam tries again.

Deeks shakes his head but eases up on the accelerator and begins to make his way over to the right shoulder of the road. When the car comes to a stop, his head drops to the steering wheel and he lets out a long, slow breath.

"I need to be there, Sam. I need to see her."

"I know," Sam nods, the sympathy he feels for the man runs deep. "I'll get us there."

Deeks picks his head up then and meets Sam's gaze. Giving him a single nod, Deeks moves to get out of the car as Sam follows his lead and does the same.

Settling into their new seats, Sam eases the car back onto the freeway and the second half of their drive continues on as silently as the first half had been.

When they finally pull into the hospital parking lot, Deeks is getting out of the car before they've even come to a complete stop in front of the emergency room doors. He closes the door behind him but instead of walking into the hospital, he turns and leans in the open window to look at Sam.

The gratitude is evident on his face as he makes eye contact with Sam. He wants to thank him for not pushing back when he snatched the keys and told him to get in the car. He wants to thank him for knowing when he needed to take over the driving and for not making him talk about it and for getting them to the hospital as quickly as possible. Mostly, he wants to thank him for the unspoken understanding and camaraderie the two of them share when it comes to loving a woman in their line of work.

But Sam is a man of less talk and more action and Deeks isn't sure he could voice all he wants to say anyway so he clears his throat and lets out a shaky breath.

"Sam…" he pauses as his words get caught in his throat.

Despite the minimal words exchanged between them in the past two hours, Sam knows what Deeks is trying to say and simply offers a small nod and tight-lipped smile, "Go check on her."

"Thank you."


	32. Drinks with Sabatino

_prompt from my tumblr about Sabatino coming back and asking Deeks about Kensi_

_still not my show or characters_

* * *

"Next round's on me."

Beers in hand, Deeks and Callen turn to look at Sabatino as he approaches their table and nods towards the bar.

It had been a long, but successful day tracking down a suspected arms dealer with the help of the CIA. Callen had "ordered" the team to their favorite local watering hole to celebrate where the three men now waiting for Kensi and Sam to return from bringing a witness home and join them.

"Deeks," Sabatino nods at the detective as he takes the seat across from him. "So, your partner seems to be doing okay after the White Ghost fiasco last year."

Deeks tenses slightly at the mention of that time he would rather not talk about but offers a quick nod of confirmation, "Yeah…she's uhh – she's good now."

Sensing that he should drop the topic of Afghanistan, he glances briefly at the door in search of Kensi then looks back to Deeks. "I would still like to take her out for drinks sometime. Has she mentioned if she's seeing anyone?"

He sees the instant transformation in Deeks' expression – from bitterness to what he thinks is amusement – at the same time he hears Callen snort beside him.

"You know," Deeks chuckles, "she actually hasn't mentioned it to me in a while."

"She said something to me last week," Callen, who has caught sight of their two team members over Deeks' shoulder, chimes in loud enough for Kensi to hear him, "Something about needing to leave early one day to move some things to his place that she promised him she was getting rid of."

Deeks' eyes grow wide as he lets out a laugh, "Is that what she was doing yesterday?!"

"Callen!" Kensi hisses at their team leader, stopping in her tracks as she stands next to Deeks.

"Seriously, Kens?" Deeks tilts his head up to look at her, a mischievous glint in his eye and a broad smile on his face. "Wasn't it your idea to limit the number of boxes you were taking?"

Kensi scrunches her face and lets out a small sigh, "Yeah, but—"

"Wait," Sabatino interrupts, shifting his attention back to Deeks, "You know she's moving in with this guy? You said she hasn't mentioned seeing anyone."

There is a twinkle in his eyes as he continues to stare at Kensi, "She hasn't. Not to me."

Kensi squints at Deeks, clearly trying to figure out what stunt her boyfriend/partner is pulling, Callen is trying – and failing – to hold back his laughter, and Sam has a smirk on his face as he shakes his head and mumbles something that sounds like, "Marty Deeks, Esquire."

Sabatino looks at the two senior agents and then back at Kensi and Deeks, "Am I missing something?"

"Probably," Deeks smirks and attempts to wink at Kensi as he reaches for her waist to pull her closer, happily meeting her lips as she catches on and bends down to give him a quick kiss.

As Kensi slips into the seat next to Deeks, he turns his attention back to Sabatino who still looks a bit confused and a lot surprised by what just transpired.

"So…you two?"

Deeks shrugs and squeezes Kensi's knee under the table, "It would be pretty silly for her to tell me something I already know."


	33. Like Love

_based on the deleted scene from the season 6 finale. _  
_This is what came to me, even though I have conflicted thoughts about the scene._

* * *

He watches her as she bustles around her apartment doing who knows what. Bathroom to bedroom to kitchen and back to the bedroom before she finally makes her way to the couch where he had plopped himself almost as soon as they walked through the door.

After almost twenty-four hours of travel, they're finally home from Russia and despite the late hour, they're both fairly awake thanks to countless hours of napping on their flights.

When Kensi situates herself next to him, tucking herself into his side and resting her head on his shoulder, he instinctively wraps his arm around her and hugs her close. He turns his head and drops a kiss to her hair, lingering as he breathes in the subtle scent of her shampoo.

Deeks sighs contentedly. This amazing woman and these moments with her - they are what keep him going these days.

He loves her so much it hurts and he knows she loves him too, even if she can't seem to put those feelings into words. She came close yesterday, blurting it out in the woods before catching herself and backtracking to say that she _likes_ him.

He had smiled because the words had come tumbling out of her mouth before she could stop them - the testament of a truth he has known for some time. Yet at the same time, something not-so-deep inside him deflated that she had been so quick to correct herself.

Maybe it was just their circumstances that made her pause – saying 'I love you' for the first time while tracking an armed and dangerous Russian isn't exactly romantic. Or maybe she's afraid to put that specific label on them because it makes the fear of losing them seem more real.

He doesn't think he needs those words though, not when she gives him that smile he can't get enough of and not when she allows herself to truly relax and be herself in his presence.

And not when there are words she does offer him – about her father, no less – that take his breath away. To know that Donald Blye, USMC and Kensi's beloved father and idol would have liked him – that is real and honest and he knows it means a great deal to her and so it means even more to him.

"Thank you," he speaks softly, his chin resting on top of her head.

"Hmm?" she hums, unmoving in his embrace.

"For what you said yesterday," he replaces his chin with his lips, "about your dad."

Kensi shrugs and tilts her head back to look at him, "I meant it. He really would have liked you."

Deeks smiles and leans down to brush his lips against hers. Her head moves to rest on his chest and her arm circles around his waist as she hugs herself to him.

"Because _you_ like me?" he pokes at her side, amusement in his voice.

He had meant it in jest, to mock her for her bumbling confession but the silence he's met with causes him to hold his breath.

A few, long seconds go by and Deeks wonders if she's going to respond at all but then he feels her sigh and her head starts shaking ever so slightly.

"Because I love you," Kensi's voice is quiet but strong.

Letting out the breath he'd forgotten he was holding, Deeks can't even try to hide the broad smile that splits his face. Maybe he didn't _need_ her to say those words, but he can't deny how hearing them made his heart burst and the butterflies in his stomach take flight.

"I know," he answers softly, peppering kisses along the crown of her head as he pulls her face up to his so he can kiss her properly. "I love you too."


	34. Preparations

_Inspired by the deleted scene from 'Beacon' and some research I did this afternoon (details at the bottom!)_

* * *

At the sound of his front door closing, Deeks calls out to his girlfriend as he hears her unhook Monty's leash and kick off her shoes.

"Uhh, Kens?" He walks out of the kitchen with a piece of paper in his hand. "Did we get some bonus I don't know about? Or did you get a raise?"

"Noooo..." she eyes him and the paper suspiciously as he comes to stand in front of her, "Why?"

Deeks is holding up what she now recognizes is a packing slip and she cringes slightly at the question he hasn't even asked yet . "That Soylent stuff you bought…did you seriously spend two _thousand _dollars?"

Kensi thinks her years of undercover work should help her more in this moment but she's never been very good at lying to him and it's not like she can dispute the black and white proof he has in his grasp. She opens her mouth to say something - _anything_ \- but there is literally nothing she can think of that can lessen the shock, so she closes her mouth without uttering a single sound.

"Really?" Deeks's eyes go wide and there is a tiny hint of amusement in his voice as she stands there looking guilty as hell.

"Okay, so maybe I panicked," she blurts out and shoots a glare in his direction when he lets out a chuckle, "but there was an earthquake last week!"

He grins at her and shakes his head, "There was not."

"Sunday night. A 3.5er," she crosses her arms across her chest and her eyes dare him to challenge her.

He knows better than to do that and a realization dawns on him anyway, "Is that why I came home from Kip's that night to find you asleep on the couch wrapped in my slanket?"

She shrugs in response and he puts the paper down on the coffee table before placing his hands on her shoulders.

"Next time you panic, can you tell me before you go buy something like a year's supply of water?" She tries to slip out of his grasp but he squeezes her shoulders in reassurance, "If you keep spending that kind of money on your apocalypse stash—"

"_Our_ stash," she corrects.

"_Our _apocalypse stash," he tilts his head and offers her a small smile, "we're going to be pillaging for those pineapples and toilet paper before 'The Big Earthquake' even hits."

Kensi rolls her eyes but sighs in resignation as Deeks pulls her in for a hug. He's right and she knows it. "Fine."

"You'll thank me when we aren't starved and thirsty if we get trapped," she points out.

She can feel his chest heaving with a laughter he's trying to stifle and he kisses the top of her head, "I don't doubt that. Just like I don't doubt that you already got a year's worth of water, right?"

Kensi is silent for a few seconds and that's all the confirmation he needs.

"Six months' worth," she mumbles.

"That's my girl."

* * *

_A/N - If you haven't seen the deleted scenes from the S6 DVDs, there is one from Beacon as Deeks and Kensi are walking towards Arkady's house. Kensi excitedly tells Deeks about this 6 month supply of Soylent ("complete food-in-a-cup") that she bought for her emergency stash in case of "the big earthquake" and reveals that half of it is for him. So I was Googling this Soylent this afternoon and discovered that it costs $340 for a one month supply and I felt like Deeks would think that was just nuts! And so here we are._


	35. What We Do

_For the NCISLA Hiatus Fic Challenge #4 on tumblr - Unlikely Pairings_  
_Deeks talks to Sam after Callen goes rogue. Very early S7._

* * *

Deeks walks down the hall, following the muffled sounds of someone taking a great deal of anger and frustration out on a punching bag. He stops when he sees Sam, sweat trickling down his face, arms wrapped around the bag.

_Maybe this wasn't a good idea._

"I'm fine," Sam doesn't even turn to look to see who just joined him in the gym before taking a step back and throwing another set of punches and jabs at the poor, undeserving bag.

_Definitely not a good idea._

"You know, you sound about as convincing as Kensi does when she says that," Deeks shakes his head, giving the senior agent a sympathetic look.

Sam looks at him and sighs, but says nothing as he walks over to the bench along the wall and sits down. He wipes his face with a towel and leans forward with his head in his hands. Deeks hesitates for a second before taking a seat on the opposite end of the bench. Despite the fact that he came in here to try and talk to Sam, he senses that the former SEAL isn't exactly in the mood for conversation, so he says nothing.

It's been almost a week since their fearless leader went off the grid and Sam hasn't been himself since the day Callen hadn't shown up at work. It's not the first time he's done the lone wolf act, but with zero contact from him and no one – not even Hetty – having any idea where he's gone or what he's trying to do, Sam is very unsettled.

"We'll find him, Sam," Deeks tries, though he isn't so confident about that right now. They might be some of the best investigators NCIS and LAPD have, but Callen is no rookie and is certainly well-practiced in making himself disappear.

Sam snorts, clearly not believing Deeks's words any more than Deeks does. "You don't know him like I do, Deeks. If he doesn't want to be found, we'll just be chasing our tails."

"Okay, so maybe we won't find him, but he'll find us when he needs our help," Deeks offers as he grabs a water for Sam from the floor. "We're a team, we're here for each other. It's what we do. Callen knows that."

For the first time in a week, a hint of a smile shows on Sam's face as he starts to chuckle, "You're spending too much time with Kensi. That's what she said to me two days ago."

"I plead the fifth," Deeks jokes, happy that Sam's mood seems to have lightened even the tiniest bit. He lets out a puff of air, seriousness returning to his tone, "You good?"

Sam exhales, "I'll be better when G gets his head on straight and gets his ass back here."

Deeks nods, understanding exactly how it feels to be off-kilter when you find yourself on outside of your partner's secretive missions. Maybe they'll hear from Callen today, maybe it won't be for another week, but they'll be ready back him up whenever it happens. That's how they roll.

"Thanks, Deeks," Sam breaks the silence, offering his friend a small, but genuinely grateful smile.

"Come on," Deeks pats him on the shoulder as he stands up, nodding his head in the direction of the gym door. "It's your turn to pick lunch and Kensi is going to eat the donuts leftover from breakfast if she doesn't get fed soon."

That gets a real laugh out of Sam, "Maybe next time you shouldn't buy her so many."

"You know how it is, man," Deeks shrugs helplessly, "Happy wife, happy life, right?"

"Wife?" Sam's eyebrows shoot up.

Deeks's eyes widen as he realizes what that must have sounded like, "No! I mean…Kensi's not, we're not… Not like Michelle is your wife. It's just an expression. And 'girlfriend' doesn't rhyme. I…oh man… Don't tell her I said that."

As Sam turns to walk out of the gym, the smirk on his face makes Deeks a little nervous.

"Sam?" He calls out to the retreating figure. "Sam-dawg?!"


	36. Without You

_prompt from anonymous on tumblr - "You can't die. Please don't die."  
Set mid-season 8._

_As usual, I don't own them._

* * *

_You can't die…_

She leans against the wall of the hospital corridor as the events of the last twenty-four hours continue to flood her mind. The words that have been nothing more than silent pleas seem to be on an endless loop. She squeezes her eyes shut in an attempt to stop to fresh onslaught of tears threatening to break free.

_Please don't die…_

She has struggled to think of anything else since watching the abandoned office building explode in an impressive display of bright flames and dark smoke. With her heart lodged in her throat, she had watched the feed from Ops, unable to do anything other than hold her breath as she saw Sam and Callen drag her unconscious partner, fiancée, _everything_, from the rubble.

_You _promised_ me…_

It may have been a promise completely out of his control to keep, but for nearly four years now, he's been true to his word. She thinks it's a cruel joke that after everything they've been through – together and on their own – that she should be forced to imagine her life without him when she's finally happier than she ever thought she could be. Their love and the life they've been building together has become her new purpose and the thought of it being ripped away _now_ makes her head spin.

_I can't do this without you…_

She opens her eyes as her hands instinctively reach down to rub her swollen belly. A mere six weeks away from meeting the little girl that their love created – the best parts of both of them – she can't wrap her head around the idea of him not being there. He's been the one who can't stop reading the books and making the preparations being excited. He's been the one who makes her feel like she _can _do this.

_I don't_ want _to do this without you…_

Taking a few deep breaths, she wills her mind and her heart to stop racing. Instead, she thinks about his smile and how it never fails to brighten her mood. She thinks about his arms and the comfort and security she feels when they're wrapped around her – feelings she never thought she wanted or needed until she had them. She thinks about his love for her and how she doesn't think she could ever truly deserve him but she also can't imagine letting anyone else love her the way that he does – so completely and unwaveringly.

Composing herself, she offers a slight smile to the doctor who has just exited his hospital room and before she even realizes that she's moved, she finds herself standing at his door with her hand on the door handle. The need to see him again is overwhelming and she takes one last deep breath and slowly pushes open the door.

The sight of him lying in the small bed, a white sheet drawn up to his chest, sparks new tears to gather in her eyes.

And then he smiles.

It's a tired, pained smile, but the effect it has on her is the same as it always is.

"Kens," he sighs, holding out his hand for her and she knows the emotional battle she's been fighting has not gone unnoticed by him, "Are you okay?"

Clearing her throat softly, she laces their fingers together and ignores his question because she isn't sure how to answer it yet. "What did the doctor say?"

He senses that now isn't the time to push so he accepts the change of subject, "It's nothing a little time and TLC won't heal," he squeezes her fingers and waits for her eyes to meet his, "I'm good, Kens."

She releases the breath she hadn't realized she was still holding as she smiles – really smiles – for the first time since yesterday. The answer to his question is suddenly clear.

"Then I'm good too," she tugs on his hand and places it on her belly, where their daughter has started kicking up a storm, "we're both good."


	37. Stay

_prompt from anonymous on tumblr - Densi, "do you want me to leave?"_

_speculation (I guess...not really) for 7x02 and the arrival of Mama Deeks_

* * *

"Do you want me to leave?"

Kensi stares at her boyfriend who appears to be staring off into space from his seat next to her on the couch. She's unsure if he even heard her question.

Part of her _wants_ to go – wants to give Deeks space to deal with something that has clearly taken him by surprise and has had him distracted all day. He must have checked his phone no less than fifty times while they were running around the city all day and didn't seem to be paying much attention to anything that wasn't related to helping Talia investigate her partner's murder.

Truth be told, she thinks she could use some space herself, to try and wrap her head around what she discovered just a few minutes ago. Maybe heading back to the mission to get off a few rounds in the shooting range will calm her down.

The other part of her wants answers – wants to know why the hell she hasn't known about this until today. Keeping this from everyone else, she can understand that – they all have their secrets. But keeping it from her? She is struggling to come to terms with that and she has so many questions.

But time for questions is rapidly running out because someone is on their way over to his apartment and should be arriving in just a few minutes.

Not just someone. His _mom_.

The mom he has never talked about outside of the events that led to him shooting his own father. The mom she had never asked about because none of the theories she had of her whereabouts included the possibility that she was alive, well, and apparently still in contact with her son.

How could Deeks, who seems to always be talking and sticking his nose in her business and wanting to know everything about her, not once mention anything about his mother?

"Deeks?"

He looks at her then, his expression still distant.

"I think I'm just…I think I'm gonna go," she says quietly, squeezing his knee as she moves to stand up, "Call me later, okay?"

He rushes to cover her hand with his, stopping her from getting off the couch, and shakes his head. "No. Don't go."

Kensi sighs and sits on the edge of the couch, shooting him a look she hopes looks more understanding than the myriad of other emotions she's currently feeling. She's about to ask if he's sure when he interrupts her.

"Kens, I'm sorry," his eyes are boring into hers, "I know you must be a mixture of confused and angry and hurt and you probably want to go shoot something."

She snorts at that, because of course he knows her well enough to know all of that. A hint of a smile tugs at the corners of his mouth when he sees her expression soften and he seizes the opportunity of the slight break in the tension to tell her what he's been wanting to say for most of the day.

"I want you to meet her, Kens," he laces their fingers still covering his knee, "It would mean a lot to me if you would stay to meet her."

"Deeks, I…"

"Have probably a million questions," he finishes for her and sends her an apologetic look. "I know. I'll answer anything you want to know. Just…please stay."

Looking into his eyes, Kensi realizes she no longer wants to go anywhere and that this means a lot to her too. But before she can answer him, there is a soft knock on the front door. His eyes never leave hers and are silently begging her to say something as another knock echoes in the silence between them.

"Come on," Kensi stands up and tugs on their joined hands to pull him up with her, "it will probably be less awkward if you're the one to answer the door."

The broad smile that splits his face tells her that he probably would have been crushed if she had said no and that only reaffirms her decision. Kensi turns towards the door before Deeks pulls back on her hand and wraps his arms around her in a tight hug.

"Thank you," he whispers into her hair.

"We're going to talk later," her voice is muffled by his shoulder but she makes no efforts to pull away.

She feels him nod and press a kiss to the side of her head before he steps back and takes her hand again, pulling her with him to the door.

Taking a deep breath as Deeks reaches for the door handle, Kensi squeezes his fingers and smiles when he mouths, "_Love you,_" as he swings the door open.

"Hi, mom."


	38. Lies, Promises, and Jokes (7x01)

_Tag to 7x01_

_I don't own anything_

* * *

"Party Marty!" Kensi's jovial tone carries through the apartment as she pushes the front door open with her hip, a large bag of takeout in one hand and a six-pack of their favorite beer in the other. "Your dinner is here."

Deeks wanders into view from the kitchen with an exaggerated groan but he still can't stop himself from smiling at the proud look on his girlfriend's face, "Really, Kens? Are you going to keep calling me that?"

She pecks his cheek as she brushes past him to deposit their food on the kitchen counter before turning to him with a look of amusement on her face, "How long did you call me KayKay after meeting my friends?"

"I _still_ call you KayKay sometimes."

"Exactly," she smirks, stepping in front of him and placing her hands on his waist, pinching his sides. "I should get more than half a day out of this."

His hands instinctively find her hips and he lets out a long sigh of faux frustration as she chuckles and begins peppering soft kisses along his jaw.

"I hate you," he mumbles against her lips when her mouth finds his.

Kensi snorts, "Liar." She pulls back, a sly smile on her face and her eyes challenging him. "You'll be singing a different tune when you see what I brought you for dinner."

He looks over her shoulder and for the first time seems to notice that the food she brought in isn't what they had agreed on. "No pizza?" He eyes the bag suspiciously, "I told you I didn't want Chinese tonight, Kens."

Shaking her head, Kensi steps out of their embrace and nudges him towards the food, "Turns out that restaurant you saw along the beach this morning serves breakfast all day, so…"

"Pasta with sausage _and_ bacon?!" Deeks exclaims as he opens the bag and catches a whiff of the undoubtedly delicious meal he had been denied early this morning. A plate suddenly materializes in front of his face and he smiles down at Kensi and drops a quick kiss to the tip of her nose. "I take it back, I don't hate you."

. . . .

An hour later, their empty plates and beer bottles are scattered on the coffee table as the sounds of Monday Night Football fill the comfortable silence between them. Kensi is stretched out along the length of the couch, her head and shoulders resting against Deeks's chest as one of his hands rests across her middle and his free hand trails a lazy path up and down her arm.

Deeks is drifting off to sleep when he feels her shift against him and suddenly senses her gaze on him. Squinting one eye open, he's met with Kensi's mismatched eyes studying him, an unasked question in their depths.

"Stop being creepy," he closes his eye and murmurs quietly, his voice already rough even though he hasn't actually slept yet.

When she doesn't respond right away, he opens both eyes and sees her more clearly and easily reads the worry on her face. Before he can ask her what's wrong, she exhales and starts to speak.

"Promise me something?" she asks softly.

Deeks is immediately thrust back to the first time she asked him this same question – when she asked him not to get himself killed. And then he almost did. He shudders at the memory and forces himself to focus on her. "Anything," his voice thick with emotion.

She offers up a small smile – it's not lost on her what is running through his mind right now, because it's running through hers too. Lacing her fingers with the hand around her waist, she squeezes his fingers, "If this internal affairs investigation starts causing a lot of trouble, don't pull a Callen and disappear on me. Let me help you."

She knows he can't promise her anything – that it's probably unfair for her to even ask, when she's done exactly what she's asking him not to do – but she needs to say it anyway.

Deeks thinks he should have seen this coming – they've been partners for five years and now they're so much more. "I don't want to do this without you," he assures her and feels the tension leave her body, if only for a second, before he continues, "but, Kens, my priority is keeping you safe. I need to protect you."

"I don't need you to protect me," Kensi tightens her grip on his hand.

"I know you don't, but _I_ need me to," Deeks drops a lingering kiss to the top of her head, breathing in the subtle scent of her shampoo. "It's what partners do – what _we_ do – right?"

She nods silently against his chest and sighs, "I just…watching Sam today… I don't ever want to be in that position."

Deeks hugs her close and rests his chin on top of her head, "I know," he whispers, "Can I ask you something too?"

"Yeah," Kensi lifts her head, "Of course."

"What were you saying earlier about me getting naked?"

He laughs at her slightly stunned expression, having clearly caught her off-guard with the sudden change in subject. Taking advantage, he slowly reaches down and begins toying with the hem of the soft, well-worn LAPD t-shirt that now spends more time on her body than on his.

Kensi snaps out of her stupor and pushes herself into a sitting position, "Ooooh no. Uh-uh," she's serious but still can't seem stop the short laugh that bubbles out of her chest, "If you think either one of us is getting naked after your perverted Fifty Shades of Hetty comment earlier, you're delusional."

"Really?!" he groans and drops his head back dramatically.

"I need time to get that image out of my head," she leans over and presses a kiss to his cheek before whispering seductively in his ear, "Though I can think of one way you might end up naked tonight."

He lifts his head and raises his eyebrows hopefully, "Oh yeah?"

"Mmhmm," Kensi kisses him hard before she stands up, heading towards his bedroom.

As if drawn to her by an uncontrollable force, Deeks stands and begins to follow her without saying a word. Her next words, called over her shoulder with a smirk on her face, stop him in his tracks.

"Call your bath house buddy, Kirkin."


	39. No Tie (7x03)

_based on the promo pics for 7x03 (Driving Miss Diaz) that were released today. You don't have to have seen them for this story to make sense_

* * *

"Do I have to wear the tie?"

Kensi silently rolls her eyes from her own dressing room at the disgruntled whine coming from the other side of the partition where her partner has been very vocal about the good and bad of Hetty's choice in clothing for today's op.

"Deeks, just get dressed," she sighs impatiently as she takes the burgundy blazer off the hanger and slips it on.

"I thought you preferred me undressed?" She doesn't have to be looking at him to see the huge smirk plastered to his face.

"Too much information, Deeks," comes an unexpected voice as Sam makes his way past the wardrobe area. "Too much information."

Deeks cringes, "Sorry, Sam-dawg."

Kensi takes one last look down at her pantsuit, smoothing the blouse under the jacket as she steps out from behind her dressing room curtain. Stopping to readjust one of the simple black pumps on her feet, she doesn't realize that Deeks is already standing in front of the large full-length mirror.

"Seriously, Kens, do you think I have to wear the tie?" He asks again as he slips a belt through the loops around his hips, fiddling with the buckle.

Whatever annoyed retort she was going to say dies on her lips when she looks up and sees him standing in front of her dressed in a _very_ well-fitted black suit and white button-down dress shirt with the top two buttons undone. He's holding a thin black tie in one hand and _damn_, she forgot how good he looks in a suit. And she absolutely does _not_ want him wearing that stupid tie.

"Kens?"

Her eyes snap to his and the knowing smile on his face tells her she's been busted.

"Maybe you don't want me undressed," he teases as he steps closer to her.

She blushes and puts her hand up to his chest to stop him from coming any closer. Callen and Sam would definitely not appreciate seeing what she is already trying to refrain from doing if he takes even one more step towards her.

She clears her throat and he attempts to wink at her as she bites back a smile, "No tie."


	40. I Know

_Prompt from hermionesmydawg - things you said through your teeth. __Inspired by the introduction of Mama Deeks during tonight's new episode. This could kind of be a follow-up to Ch. 37 (Stay)._

_shocking, but I still own nothing_

* * *

Watching her boyfriend's mother make her way upstairs for bed, Kensi can't stop the onslaught of emotions from nearly knocking her over. Placing her hands on the kitchen counter next to her, she drops her head and tries to take a few deep breaths.

What the hell _was_ today?

Between Deeks and his obvious (and now confirmed) lies about plumbing issues at his new place, having to deal with Talia most of the day, and then having Deeks's mom quite literally sprung on her from out of nowhere after work, Kensi thinks it's impressive that she's not drunk right now.

Normally, one of those situations would be enough to stress her out, but having all of it happen at once? She really needs a beer. She also needs to leave, needs space and time to wrap her mind around everything. She needs to figure out what to say to him.

She feels angry, sad, confused, and hurt all at the same time.

She feels like she's suffocating.

"Kens?"

Deeks's hesitant and worried voice cuts through her fog. She lifts her head and turns around to lean against the counter. She's biting her top lip and trying not to look at him as she shakes her head ever so slightly.

"I can't do this tonight," her jaw is clenched as she roughly pushes the hair away from her face. "I just...I need to go home."

When she finally looks at Deeks, the sad look in his eyes is almost enough to make her want to stay. _Almost_. He opens his mouth and she knows he wants to talk her into staying with him, but he must think better of it because he simply nods and whispers, "Okay."

Kensi doesn't realize there are tears in her eyes until she closes her eyes and feels one trail down her cheek. She swipes it away angrily just as she feels Deeks's arm wrap around her shoulders and pull her into a hug. Despite her desire to get away from here, she can't stop herself from hugging him back.

"Oh, Kens," he exhales, rubbing his other hand in slow circles up and down her back, "I'm sorry. I've been telling myself for years that if you ever asked about her, I'd tell you everything-"

Kensi stiffens and tries to pull back but Deeks just tightens his hold on her, shaking his head.

"I know that's not fair and I know it was kind of a backwards plan. Then once we got together, it was like I couldn't figure out when to bring it up, you know? Then suddenly she was here and I didn't know how I was going to tell you. And I'm just...I'm just so sorry, Kens. I never wanted to hurt you."

He wishes he had a better explanation, but it's all he has and he can only hope that he didn't just royally screw up the best thing that's ever happened to him. His mom may be the most important woman from his past, but Kensi is his present and, he hopes, his future and he can't lose her.

"I know," she nods, her voice muffled by his chest.

"Go home," he drops a kiss to her hair and pulls away, "We can talk tomorrow. Can I bring you breakfast? Or maybe we'll go to that little diner you like near the pier?"

She sighs and looks at him thoughtfully, "Pick me up at eight," she says after a moment, "and you'd better have coffee and donuts."

"Okay," Deeks chuckles, unable to stop the way the corners of his mouth twitch into the tiniest hint of a smile.

"I'm still not happy," she warns.

He nods once, the serious look back on his face, "I know. I'll do whatever takes."

She doesn't doubt that for one second. He loves her (she doesn't doubt that either) and even after the very unexpected events of today, she still trusts him.

She gives his hand a quick squeeze and makes her way out the front door.

They'll figure this out.

They always do.


	41. Never Really Liked Truffles (7x02)

_Tag to 7x02_

_Also, a few of us on tumblr didn't like that we had nothing to call Mama Deeks, so we've named her Cathy. Until we find out her actual first name, that's what I'm going to call her._

_As usual, I don't own these characters._

* * *

The quiet murmur of voices coming from the living room bring a small smile to Kensi's face as she places their empty water glasses on the kitchen counter. For as unprepared as she was to meet Deeks's mom with about fifteen seconds notice, she thinks the night couldn't have gone much better. Conversation during dinner had been plentiful and easy and watching her boyfriend interact with his mom made her really happy.

Lost in thought, she doesn't hear the approaching footsteps until a split second before a pair of strong arms wrap around her waist. She startles slightly at the contact and Deeks chuckles as he presses a soft kiss to the side of her head.

"Distracted, Special Agent Blye?"

"Tired," she admits, sighing with contentment as she leans back against his chest. "Long day – I'm thinking I should probably head home and get some sleep."

She doesn't particularly _want_ to go home and sleep alone – for the third night in a row – but she also doesn't want to impose on his mom's visit. And sleeping over with your boyfriend when his mom, whom you just met, is in the next room just seems like it might be awkward.

"You don't have to go home, Kens," Deeks says as he rests his chin on her shoulder. The warmth of her body pressed against his is something he hasn't had enough of the past few days and he didn't realize just how much he'd been craving it. "I don't want you to go home. I miss you."

Kensi rolls her eyes and chuckles, "You see me all day, every day."

"Yeah, but I don't get to touch you or kiss you," Deeks huffs. "And I miss you in my bed."

"That's your own fault, babe," she smirks as she turns in his arms and pats his chest.

He gives her a mock glare, then exhales as his expression softens, "Please stay."

She sighs as he kisses her forehead, "I don't want to get in the way. You don't get to see your mom often."

"In the way? Don't be silly."

They both jump at the sound of his mom's voice as she enters the kitchen. Deeks drops his arms from Kensi's waist and moves to stand beside her against the counter. Kensi glances up at him and his eyes are twinkling and he's clearly glad to have his mom on his side.

"This is practically your home too, Kensi," she gives her son's girlfriend a knowing smile. "You don't need to go anywhere. In fact, I'll take it personally if you're not here for breakfast in the morning."

"She makes the best chocolate chip pancakes," Deeks is beaming – he knows he's won.

Kensi laughs and shakes her head in amusement. "Okay, okay. You had me at breakfast."

"Good," the older woman's smile matches her son's. "Now, off to bed, you two are probably exhausted."

Kensi pushes off the counter, "Thank you so much for dinner, Cathy, it was wonderful."

"It was my pleasure," Cathy reaches out and pulls Kensi in for a warm hug, "I'm so glad we finally got to meet. Martin hasn't been this happy in a very long time."

Kensi blushes at her words and pulls back, offering the woman a gentle smile, "I'm really glad we got to meet too." Looking over to Deeks, she thinks she catches a look of pride on his face as he watches the two of them.

"Kens," he clears his throat, "I'll be up in a minute – I just want to clean up the dishes."

She nods and he watches her make her way up the stairs. If it's possible, he thinks he loves her even more than he did this morning. After the day they had, especially dealing with Talia, he wasn't sure that springing his mom on her was the best idea, but now he thinks it may have been just what they needed.

"She's really special, Martin."

He glances down at his mom and smiles as he puts his arm around her shoulders. He loves having his two favorite women here with him.

"Yeah. She really is."

. . . .

Fifteen minutes later, Deeks makes his way into his room and can't help but laugh at the sight he finds in front of him. "Two nights alone and you're already back to full starfish mode?" He pokes at his girlfriend's duvet-covered foot as he walks to his side of the bed, stripping off his jeans and t-shirt in the process.

"I forgot how comfortable your new bed is," is the slightly muffled response he gets as Kensi makes no effort to give him any room.

Nudging her over a bit, he slides beneath the sheets and welcomes the weight of her body as she immediately molds herself along his side, her head on his chest and her arm low across his waist. She tilts her head up to press a kiss to his jaw and lets out a long sigh.

"You okay?"

"Mm-hmm," she tightens her grip on his body, "I missed this too."

Despite their occasional nights off from each other, Kensi still forgets how accustomed she's become to sleeping beside him. His warmth, his twitches, his familiar weight on the other side of the bed – she needs it more than she'll admit even to herself.

"Thank you for introducing me to her," she says softly, "She's great."

Deeks looks down and smiles softly, "Thank you for not running out the door."

"Hey!" Her eyes widen, but she can't help but laugh because she had almost wanted to.

"No, really," he goes on, hugging her tightly to him, "I know I just sprung her on you."

Kensi snorts, "Yeah, thanks for that. Maybe we could have done without the secrecy."

"I didn't want you to waste time worrying about it. You would have been freaked out all day if I had told you earlier."

She pokes him in the side, "I was worrying all day anyway! I just didn't know what I was worrying about."

He has a point though. And after her talk with Sam this afternoon, she's able to appreciate that it may have been for the best that she didn't have more time to think about it. The unexpectedness of the whole situation allowed her to just _be_. She didn't have time to worry about trying to look or act a certain way – there was no doing anything other than being herself.

"I know," he rubs slow circles on her back. "It's not exactly something I wanted to tell you in front of Talia either."

Kensi stiffens ever so slightly at the mention of the overly-flirtatious DEA Agent but she doesn't want to waste her time replaying everything that went on with Talia today in her mind. She's proud of herself for not rising to the bait. Talia seemed to be looking for another fight, and Kensi had no reason to give it to her.

Allowing herself to relax in Deeks's arms, she just shakes her head, "Yeah…adding her to the mix certainly made for an interesting day."

"'Interesting' is one way to describe it," Deeks chuckles rather humorlessly. "I don't even know what that was. She's just, uh…."

"Just waiting for you, apparently."

"Yeah, well, she can wait all she wants – _that_ is never gonna happen," Deeks brings his free arm across his body to pull Kensi as close as he can get her.

Kensi's fingers are drawing random patterns on the skin of his hips when she lets out a short laugh, "She too much for you?"

"Well, there's that," he reaches for her chin and tilts her head up and waits for her eyes to meet his, "and I don't ever plan on getting rid of the girlfriend I have."

"No?" Kensi smiles brightly.

He dips his head and kisses her hard, threading his fingers through her dark hair. "Nope," he mumbles against her lips when he breaks the kiss, "She's pretty awesome, and I love her a lot."

Blushing, Kensi kisses him back with equal passion. She knows it, but she never gets tired of hearing it. She pulls back and brushes his hair out of his face so she can see his eyes. She can only hope that he always looks at her the way he's looking at her right now.

"She loves you a lot too," she says as she drops one last kiss to his lips and rests her head back on his chest. He pulls the sheet over them and she falls asleep listening to the strong, steady beat of his heart.


	42. Prove It

_This just kind of came to me last night. Somewhat inspired by a tumblr prompt that I saw, "things you said that I wish you hadn't."_

_ownership of NCISLA and its characters still isn't mine_

* * *

"Maybe I should just go home."

Kensi slowly pushes off the kitchen counter, forcing herself not to look at Deeks. She hasn't been home – if she can even really call it that anymore – in almost three weeks, but she finds herself needing to step back for a night before she says or does something she'll ultimately regret.

It all started this morning, when they noticed someone abruptly pulling away from the curb in front of Deeks's house as they were leaving for work. It got worse when one of the internal affairs detectives working with Rivera called him at lunch time, asking him to come to the precinct – for what, Deeks still hasn't said.

"Don't say that," he shakes his head slowly.

He sounds defeated, and when Kensi finally makes eye contact, her heart aches for the sadness she sees in his eyes.

It's the same sadness she sees whenever he talks about the investigation. When he lies to her over and over again. It's that recognition that keeps her moving towards the front door.

"I don't know what else to do, Deeks," she exhales, frustrated that it's coming to this – that he won't just let her in. "I can't keep acting like I don't know you're lying to me."

"Kens, I—"

"No," she cuts him off sharply. "I _know_ you're lying. I see it on your face every time we talk about this." She watches his shoulders drop and his eyes close. Moving to stand in front of him, she sighs when he looks at her apologetically. "There is _something_ you're not telling me and I just don't know how to handle that anymore."

"I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to hurt _us_."

Deeks reaches for her, almost hesitantly, and sighs deeply when she allows him to pull her to his chest, his arms wrapped firmly around her shoulders. He wants to let her in, but his fear of losing her at the end of this is overwhelming and he thinks if he can just keep her away from it, then he can minimize the damage.

"Don't you trust me?" Her voice is firm, but Deeks hears the doubt, vulnerability, and emotion behind the question.

He hates that.

He cups her face and urges her to look at him, his eyes imploring her to believe his next words, "You know I do."

"Do I?" Kensi reaches up to grab his wrists and squeezes gently, feeling his racing pulse beneath her fingers. "I love you, Marty Deeks, and I will fight with you and for you, and I will fight for us, but if you won't tell me what we're up against…"

"It's not that easy," he whispers, catching her hands in his, lacing their fingers together and kissing her knuckles. When he meets her gaze again, the determination he sees in her mismatched eyes causes his heart to skip a beat.

Kensi leans forward and places a soft, lingering kiss to his cheek. Pulling her hands out of his grasp, she takes a step back and reaches for the door.

"All in, Deeks. I meant it."

"I did too," his voice is insistent, demanding to be heard.

He watches her open the door, wishing he could work up the courage to say the words that will make her stay. When she stops suddenly and turns back to him, he thinks for a second that she's changed her mind but she simply raises her eyebrows and shrugs.

"Prove it."


	43. When This Is Over

_I'm not really sure where this came from. Feeling angsty with the IA investigation hanging over our heads, I guess. Not really speculation, since we'll never get a scene exactly like this, but in my head, this totally happens._

_Also - this is probably a pretty strong 'T'_

_usual disclaimer - I don't own these wonderful characters._

* * *

Glancing down at her phone screen for what seems like the hundredth time in the past two hours, Kensi pushes herself off the couch and begins pacing the floor. It's nearing nine o'clock and the pizza she had picked up on her way home sits on the kitchen counter, cold and untouched in its box. All six bottles of their favorite beer are still huddled together in their case inside the refrigerator.

And Deeks still isn't home.

One quick phone call from Bates this afternoon had wiped all traces of a smile from his face in a matter of seconds.

An even quicker goodbye at the mission doors, punctuated with a soft kiss and a whispered promise to call her later, had done the same to her.

She clenches her fists at her sides as she reaches the far end of the living room. The more time that passes, the more torn she is between being pissed that he still hasn't told her anything about this fucking investigation and worried that maybe he won't be home at all tonight.

Just as she drops herself back onto the couch with a huff, the sound of a key in the lock has her back on her feet. When Deeks steps inside and catches sight of her, the look that settles on his face – one of fear, sadness, and regret – is one she has never seen before and the intensity behind it causes her heart to start hammering in her chest.

He exhales, "I wasn't sure you would be here."

The truth is, it hadn't even occurred to her to go anywhere else. She can't remember the last time she had slept in her own bed, or even stepped foot inside her apartment. She feels more at home here, with him, than she ever has anywhere else.

"Of course I'm gonna be here, Deeks," Kensi says softly, her tone making it clear that she's not just talking about tonight. She slowly steps in front of him, her hand coming up to brush the hair out of his eyes. "I'm _always_ going to be here."

He's staring at her intently, like he's trying to memorize her face. She holds his gaze, silently urging him to open up, as if he can read her mind. _ Talk to me_.

His eyes flick to her lips and before she knows what's happening, he grabs her face in his hands, his mouth rushing to meet hers. She gasps and Deeks seizes the opportunity to deepen the kiss. He's kissed her more times than she could even try to count, but he's never kissed her like _this_. This is desperate and needy, almost like he's afraid this will be the last time.

As his fingers push their way under the hem of her t-shirt, his palms coming to rest of the bare skin of her back, Kensi knows she needs to stop this. She has questions and he has answers and after today, she's more determined than ever to get them out of him.

"Deeks," she whispers his name against his lips, wanting to put distance between their bodies. But when his hands move down, skirting over her jeans, to cup her ass and pull her closer, she feels the heat and desire radiating off his body. Suddenly all she cares about is being close to him.

So, she doesn't fight it when he hoists her up and wraps her legs around his waist. She doesn't stop him when he leaves a trail of hot, wet kisses down her neck and across her chest as he carries her up the stairs. She doesn't resist when he lays her down on the bed and slowly strips them both of their clothes.

Instead, she allows herself to indulge in the feeling of his scruff as it brushes over every inch of her exposed skin. His strong hands gripping her hips as he thrusts into her slowly and steadily. His rapid heartbeat drumming against her back when he settles in behind her, wrapping an arm around her waist.

His warm, erratic breath in her ear as he speaks for the first time since he first walked through the door.

"I love you, Kens."

She hates the sadness in his voice. She hates the secrecy that has been like a storm cloud, looming in the distance, for most of their relationship. She hates that she's afraid she's going to lose him and what they have.

But, she loves _him_.

"I love you, too."

She has to hope that, in the end, that's enough to get them through this.

As she drifts off to sleep, she feels him pull her even closer, pressing a soft kiss to her hair. Her heart breaks as he whispers words she knows she wasn't meant to hear.

"I hope you still do when this is over."


	44. Family

_drabble prompt - "Family", Densi from anon on tumblr_

_I imagined this playing out a bit differently in my head but the gist is the same. Takes place probably sometime in S8 (since I'm running with the idea that Daniela (and therefore, Kensi) will be pregnant next year)._

* * *

As Kensi relaxes back against the multitude of pillows in her hospital bed, she's exhausted, sore, and somewhat out of it. She's also happy. Deliriously happy. Focusing her gaze on the not-so-small gathering of visitors in the far corner of the room, she sighs and a contented smile settles on her face.

When her eyes meet those of the man she's hopelessly in love with, her heart swells at the sight of him smiling back at her, a tiny pink bundle tucked into his chest. He's never looked happier or more in love. In love with her, in love with their daughter, in love with their little growing family.

As she silently mouths, "Love you," across the room, she hopes he knows just what she means with those words.

She loves the partner he's been, the husband he's going to be, and the father he already is. She loves how much he's loved that baby since she was only the size of a pea. She loves that he makes her feel like she can do this – that they can do this – when so much of their own upbringings are a mess.

She loves the little girl in his arms who is already their whole world.

Feeling the tears well up in her eyes, Kensi takes her eyes off of him and glances over at their moms, the new grandmas, and an extreme feeling of gratefulness washes over her that they're here. She looks to the members of their team – their makeshift, sometimes dysfunctional, family – and a different emotion tugs at her heart.

Acceptance.

No one else knows yet, not even her fiancée, but in the predawn hours of the day, NCIS Special Agent Kensi Blye, Junior Field Agent, retired.

It took all of ten seconds of holding the slimy, crying newborn for her to make the decision she had avoided thinking about for the last eight months. Just one look at her and Kensi knew her career in the field was over. She knew she was going to take Granger and Hetty up on their subtle offers of keeping the same desk job she's been doing for six months – that she was going to do everything she could to make sure her daughter never knows the pain of losing a parent too soon.

So Kensi accepts the fact that things will never be the same now – not at home, not at work – and that realization doesn't break her down the way she once thought it would. Looking back at Deeks, she catches the way he's staring at her curiously, the unspoken, "you good?" obvious in his gaze, and offers him a soft, genuine smile.

Surrounded by the people she loves – her family – she's so much more than good.


	45. Can You Hear Me?

_tumblr drabble prompt - "can you hear me now?" Densi, from maybemadmarie_

_my "never gonna happen this way" Deeks gets arrested scenario_

* * *

"Detective Deeks."

It's not the sight of Detective Rivera standing beside her car outside of the boatshed that catches Kensi's attention. It's not even the uniformed officer standing just behind her. It's the subtle glint of sunlight bouncing off the handcuffs in his hands.

The way her partner falters just slightly beside her and gently grabs her elbow to pull her behind him means he sees it too.

"Deeks…" she whispers, her eyes darting to his face only to see him staring straight ahead.

"Detective," Rivera's voice is cold and smug. "You need to come with us."

Deeks clears his throat and gives an almost-imperceptible nod to the other detective as he finally turns to look at Kensi. His eyes are sad and he shrugs in defeat, almost as if he knew this was coming eventually.

Kensi can't find the strength to say all of the things she wants to say in this moment. Instead, she finds herself reaching to cup his face in her hands, fire in her eyes as she forces him to look at her, hoping he can hear the words she can't say out loud.

_I'm going to be with you every step of the way._

He has to know that she is with him on this – that she's on his side. She's going to have his back, just the way it's been practically every day for the past five and a half years. He has never let her down and she's determined to do whatever he needs her to do because she refuses to let this be the end of him or the end of them.

_Everything is going to be fine_.

He has to know that they'll get through this and more importantly, that they'll get through this _together_. The future she's always avoided thinking about is something she's been able to see so clearly as the past year has gone by. A future with a house, a wedding…kids. Not only does she envision it, she _wants _it, and she wants it with him. They both deserve that happiness.

_I trust you with everything._

He has to know that her trust in him, and their trust in each other, is what makes them strong. That trust is what tells Kensi that whatever it is Internal Affairs thinks they have on him, they're wrong. The Marty Deeks she loves doesn't do anything without his heart being in the right place.

_All in._

He has to know that those words they uttered to each other on the ice last year have never been truer. She's not in this only when things are easy, ready to run when shit hits the fan. No, she's in this no matter what. Through the good, the bad, the ugly, and the seemingly impossible.

He has to know that he's worth it.

Kensi lets out a breath as she feels him nod against her palms, his gaze never wavering from hers.

"Detective!" Rivera barks impatiently, startling the pair.

Out of time, Kensi reaches down for his hands, giving them a reassuring squeeze and says out loud the one thing he already knows.

"I love you."


	46. Rulebreaker (7x06)

_aprylynn made me write this (okay, so she merely said she wanted it and I happened to already be thinking it. Same thing)._

_A psuedo-tag to 7x06…kind of a between-ep, I guess._

* * *

"Deeks…"

His name on her lips sounds more like a breathless plea than the lighthearted warning she had intended it to be. Her hands tighten their grip on the steering wheel as her eyes briefly flutter closed. The feel of his scruff on her cheek and the warmth of his hand as it moves up her thigh are proving to be sufficiently distracting.

"Hmm?" He smirks, leaning further over the center console of the car to trail a line of soft kisses along her jaw.

"I'm trying to drive." The argument sounds weak, even to her. She sighs when his soft lips find the spot on her neck that he knows drives her crazy.

"No you're not," he whispers as his lips brush over the shell of her ear. "Light's red."

After a night apart and missed plans for breakfast together this morning, thanks to Kensi sleeping through her alarm, Deeks is clearly ready to switch from partner to boyfriend sooner than later

"We're working," she mumbles as he peppers more kisses along her jaw. Kensi is pretty sure she has rules about (not) kissing on the job, but he seems intent on making her forget them and she's quickly becoming okay with letting him.

"Eh," he shrugs and pulls back, dropping a long kiss to her shoulder. "Day's basically over."

He's not wrong, and they _are_ finally alone after a day spent running around the city with Sam and Callen. And it _has _been almost twenty-four hours since she last got to kiss him.

She turns to look at him and the gleam in his eyes sends a shiver down her spine. _Maybe just one kiss, _she reasons with herself. _ That's hardly breaking any rules, right_?

She smiles and reaches out to pull his face to hers, catching the flash of surprise in his eyes at her actions just before she kisses him hard.

Just as her tongue begins to trace along his bottom lip and his fingers reach up to thread through her hair, they're interrupted by the blare of car horn from somewhere behind them, alerting them to the now-green light.

Giving her one last peck on the lips, Deeks is beaming as Kensi turns forward, her face flushed, and puts the SUV in motion.

"Agent Blye," he says in mock-disbelief as he settles back into his seat, "Control yourself. We are working."


	47. Escape

_prompt from anon on tumblr - "Protective Deeks finds Kensi drugged during An Unlocked Mind"_

_speculation for 7x07, An Unlocked Mind_

* * *

Adrenaline is pumping through his veins and his heart is pounding in his chest as Deeks tries to quietly make his way through the hallways. The former DOD employee that he and Kensi were tasked with retrieving is tight on his heels, though hesitation is clear in David's movements as they try to escape the cult that holds power over him.

Quickly and quietly opening door after door, Deeks is getting frustrated. Not because they can't find a way out, but because he can't find his partner. He's reminded of why he hates ops where they aren't in sight of each other the whole time and he can't shake the nagging feeling that something is wrong.

Reaching the last door at the end of the hallway, he pokes his head inside and his heart lodges in his throat.

"Shit," he exhales, his voice is shaky as he clears the room in record time and rushes to the bed on the other side of the room. The bed where Kensi is currently lying, seemingly unconscious, bare of any clothes except for some black lingerie that in most other circumstances, he would enjoy seeing on her.

He motions for David to grab the short, white bathrobe hanging over the chair next to the door as he checks her over for any injuries. Satisfied when he finds none, he runs his hand through her hair, brushing it back from her face, and cups her cheek.

"Kens," he jostles her gently, keeping his voice low, but he can't hide the urgency behind it as he throws a nervous glance towards the open door. "Kensi…Baby…you gotta wake up."

He lets out a short sigh of relief when her eyes flutter open and the brief panicked look on her face relaxes at the sight of him.

"What…did I….wha happ…" her voice is a bit slurred and though she tries to sit up, she can't seem to make her body cooperate.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Deeks slides his arm around her shoulders and helps sit and slide her legs off the side of the bed. He takes the proffered robe from David and helps Kensi slide her arms through the sleeves and wraps it around her the best he can. "You okay to move? We have to leave."

Her reply isn't instant, but she slowly nods and reaches for his arm as she tentatively rises to her feet. It's clear to both men that she won't be walking out of here on her own and David moves to stand on her other side, ready to help.

Deeks lifts her arm and drapes it across his shoulders as he wraps his arm firmly around her waist. "Lean on me, okay? I got you." Kensi nods absently, her eyes trained on the floor as her head lolls to the side, brushing against his shoulder.

"Whadid they gimme?" she mumbles, her voice is quiet and tired.

Deeks sighs, "I don't know, Kens, but we're gonna get you some help." Pressing his lips briefly to her hair, he tightens his grip on her waist, "Ready?"

She grunts, he assumes in agreement, and struggles to keep her eyes open. Moving more slowly now that he is carrying most of Kensi's weight, Deeks makes his way to the door and checks that the hallway is clear. Looking over his shoulder to David, he nods once, "Let's get out of here."


	48. Relief (7x07)

_Prompt from anon - "Deeks looks after Kensi before the ambulance arrives"_

_Post-ep (#1) for 7x07. I already had another in progress before I got this prompt this morning. This story just came to me all at once, so here it is. Hoping to have the other one up later today or tomorrow._

_As usual, I own nothing._

* * *

Taking a deep breath, Deeks takes a long look at the scene around him. The blue skies and open air on the grassy hillside are a far cry from the suffocating atmosphere on the grounds and within the walls of the church.

He can't keep his eyes from drifting to Kensi, who is still leaning quite heavily on David. With the situation under control, his concern for her is rising. She needs help and he's desperate for them to have even a minute alone.

"Callen? You guys got this?" Deeks glances quickly at their team leader standing over Lee Ashman before ejecting the clip of the gun he's holding and handing both off to the FBI agent cuffing the man next to him.

Callen looks up, not missing the quick, worried looks the detective is directing towards his partner, and nods. "Take them both down the hill, towards the road. The SUV is there and the ambulance should be there in a few minutes." He tosses the keys to Deeks, who snatches them out of the air.

"On it," he calls over his shoulder, already standing in front of Kensi and reaching to brush the hair out of her face.

"I need to sit down," she groans, clumsily reaching for Deeks's arm. Her voice still slurred and her legs are giving out on her.

"I know, Kens," he says softly. "I've got you," he wraps an arm firmly around her waist, allowing her to rest most of her weight against his side. Deeks turns to look down the hill and realizes there is no way she'll be able to walk to the car, even if he's practically carrying her. The only solution is to actually carry her.

Pressing his nose to her temple and letting his lips brush her skin, he whispers, "Let me carry you, okay?" Despite her current condition, he's expecting her to put up a bit of a fight. His girlfriend might welcome an excuse to be held and doted upon, but his partner has rules and hates needing help. So, when she simply relaxes further into him and nods, he lets out a sigh of relief.

Keeping one hand on her waist, he drapes her arm around his shoulders and bends down to lift her legs. When he stands up, her head comes to rest on his shoulder and her other hand gently grasps at the white cotton of the shirt on his chest.

Deeks instructs David to follow close behind and nods to Callen as they make their way past him, heading down the hill. They walk slowly over the uneven terrain, Deeks taking extra care not to jostle Kensi any more than necessary.

As they approach the SUV, they can hear the wailing sirens of the approaching ambulance. Opening the back hatch of the Audi, Deeks gently sits Kensi on the floor of the trunk so that she can lean against the side. Grabbing a couple bottles of water, he tosses one to David and opens the other for Kensi.

"Try to drink some of this, okay? I'm gonna go flag down the ambulance."

The next ten minutes are filled with a chaotic rush of EMTs, IVs, and questions. When Kensi is finally loaded into the back of the ambulance, bundled up on a gurney, she hears the insistent words of Deeks just outside.

"Can I have a minute with her?"

A few seconds later, Deeks appears in the back of the ambulance, stepping up through the doors and squatting down beside her. She looks exhausted, but smiles when she sees him.

"Hi," she whispers, eagerly linking their fingers when his hand finds hers.

He leans forward and silently presses a lingering kiss to her forehead. "They said you'll be fine. You just need to be under observation for a couple of hours to make sure the drug wears off."

Kensi nods. "Are you taking David to see his wife?"

"Yeah…but…" he hesitates for a second, "maybe Callen can take him—"

"Deeks."

"—I don't want you to be alone."

She offers him a small smile, "I'm not dying, Deeks."

He shakes his head and lets out a relenting chuckle, "No…no you're not."

"You said it yourself, I'll be fine," she says with a big yawn, squeezing his hand. "Just need rest and fluids. You need to stay with David."

He knows she's right – she's okay and the job isn't done yet. "I'll take care of you when we get home," he promises.

"I know."

He kisses her once more before standing to leave. "I love you."

"I know that too."


	49. Love Conquers All (7x07)

_post-ep for 7x07, 'An Unlocked Mind' - this picks up exactly where the episode ends with Kensi and Deeks in the boatshed._

_I still own nothing. Boo._

* * *

"That…was definitely Hetty," Deeks cringes slightly as the screen goes dark and their seemingly-omnipresent boss disappears.

Despite having just been busted breaking Kensi's rule, he takes advantage of the fact that she hasn't pulled away yet and presses a soft kiss to her forehead. When she sighs and drops her head to his chest, he knows that she is much more shaken up than she's letting on.

He hates that they're still at work because all he wants to do is wrap his arms around her, breathe in the subtle scent of her shampoo, feel her heart beating against his chest, and reassure himself that she's okay.

Instead, the sound of the boatshed door opening and the echo of approaching footsteps force the partners to separate. Callen comes into view a few seconds later and looks to the pair, concern etched in his features.

"You doing okay, Kensi?"

She shrugs, "I'm fine." She's lying, and they all know it.

"Okay," Callen nods. "You two, go home. Take tomorrow off and get some rest."

Deeks perks up, "Like really off? Because last time we had a day off—"

Callen rolls his eyes, "Really off. Sam and I will cover anything that comes in." Then he looks pointedly at Kensi. "And I mean it, you need to take it easy."

Kensi opens her mouth, a retort about him being overprotective on her tongue, but she's cut off by Deeks's hand coming to rest lightly on her lower back, urging her towards the door of the boatshed, as he calls back to Callen over his shoulder, "Yep, she will."

. . . .

The drive home is mostly silent and there is an unstable tension in the air that Deeks can't interpret. He finds himself casting worried glances Kensi's way every few minutes as she sits stiffly in the passenger seat of his truck. In the past ten minutes, her expression has ranged from blank to pained to angry and every emotion in between and he knows she's trying to work through the events of the day.

He wants to talk to her, but he doesn't want to push her when it's clear that even she may not know how she's doing. He's also not sure he's ready to hear all that she might have to say. He's afraid to hear what they did, afraid to hear what they might have done to her if she hadn't gotten away, afraid of what he would want to do if he found out those things (even though he's already thinking them).

Unable to let the quiet stretch on further, and needing to touch her, Deeks reaches across the center console and rests his hand gently on her thigh. Briefly taking his eyes from the road, he looks to her again, "I'm here for you, Kens. Whatever you need."

She huffs sadly, "I don't know what I need," she whispers as she continues to stare out the window.

Today was so fucked up on so many levels and she's struggling to sort out her emotions. She's caught somewhere between needing to curl up in bed with Deeks – to let his arms and his love surround her, and needing to hit something or shoot something – to take her frustration and anger about this op out on punching bags and paper targets.

"That's okay, too," he assures her.

Kensi wants to cry out that it's _not_ okay. Nothing about today was okay and this emotional limbo she's in has her off balance and is holding her back from beginning to move past it. It's holding her back from being okay and she wants so badly to be okay.

But, he's right, and she knows that, so she simply nods and just as he starts to pull his hand from her leg, she reaches for it and squeezes his fingers tightly. Deeks turns his hand over and laces their fingers together and is grateful for the way she grips him fiercely in return – the simple reminder of her strength comforting him.

. . . .

When they arrive home a short while later, Kensi isn't feeling any less conflicted but exhaustion is taking over and curling up in bed sounds pretty good. She accepts a brief kiss from Deeks as he leaves to take Monty for a quick walk and makes her way upstairs.

Walking into the bedroom, her gaze lands on the bed and all the air leaves her lungs. Nothing about the bed, the room, or the situation is anything like what happened at the Church today, but she's blindsided by blurred memories of the afternoon flashing through her mind. Her heart begins to race and her breathing becomes shallow. She closes her eyes and tries to remember that she's home and she's safe.

As she tries to control her breathing, she is vaguely aware of the soft footsteps approaching her from behind, but she still flinches when Deeks gently places his hand on her shoulder.

"Kens, what's wrong?" His voice is laced with worry. He knew something was off when she didn't seem to hear him walk into the room but he isn't expecting the haunted look he sees in her eyes when she slowly turns towards him. "Oh, hey," he exhales, "come here." He pulls her to his chest, like he'd wanted to do when he first saw her in the boatshed, tucking her head under his chin and wrapping his arms securely around her shoulders.

Her arms loop around his waist, fingers digging into the small of his back, like she's hanging on for dear life. "I was scared," she admits, her voice cracking. It's a big deal for her to admit that to herself, let alone anyone else.

Silence settles between them again and Kensi knows he's probably waiting for her to continue. But how can she put into words what she only remembers in broken pieces? That she remembers the moment she realized she'd been drugged but not being dressed in lingerie or brought to the bed. That she felt so angry when she woke up just enough to know that she needed to fight and run but that her body didn't want to cooperate. That she can still feel the other woman's lips on her skin and Ashman moving to the bed and hovering over her. That even in her compromised state, she knew that if she didn't do something…

She shudders at the thought – even now it's over, she can't bring herself to think about what they were probably planning to do to her. Angry tears gather in her eyes and she blinks furiously to fight them back.

When Deeks feels her shudder against him, he closes his eyes and inhales deeply as he rubs his hand slowly up her back. "I was scared too," he whispers as he kisses the top of her head. "Seeing you like that…it scared the hell out me."

"It's not just that," Kensi continues, pulling back to look up at him. "I'm confused and pissed off and…I feel violated on so many levels." She doesn't miss the way Deeks tenses at that, and he can't hide the mixture of fear and anger that flashes in his eyes.

When he speaks, his voice is low and hesitant, "Did they…" He can't finish his question but Kensi immediately realizes what he heard in her words and what he's probably been wondering ever since he found her earlier in nothing but lingerie and a bathrobe.

"No," she answers firmly. He relaxes immediately and blows out a breath and Kensi leans back in to hug him close. "No," she says again, more softly, "They didn't."

"Thank God," he murmurs into her hair.

"It was….everything," Kensi continues. "From the way they were looking at me the moment I stepped out of the van, to realizing how easy it would be for someone who has nothing else to be manipulated by them…" she pauses to take a deep breath and tightens her arms around his waist, "…to watching them hold you underwater and not being able to do anything about it. It was all so…"

"Messed up," Deeks finishes for her and she nods in agreement. "Yeah, it was."

Kensi lets out a big yawn and Deeks, noting the late hour, is about to suggest that they go to bed when she pulls away abruptly, "Oh my gosh," she groans. "I haven't even asked if you're okay. I mean, you look okay, but—"

Deeks scoffs, "What are you talking about? I look great." He smiles down at her as she bites back a smile of her own and shakes her head. "I'm good, Kens," his tone turning serious. "Really crazy day, but I'm good."

Kensi tilts her head up and leans in as Deeks lowers his head to capture her lips in a deep kiss. She can't help but think that Gaia and the Church of the Unlocked Mind had it all wrong, because _this_ is most definitely the best part of her life.

Leaving her lips and trailing soft kisses along her jaw, Deeks mumbles against her skin, "Let's go to bed. You need sleep."

Shaking her head, another yawn escapes her, "I want you to tell me what happened with David." She presses her cheek against his chest and closes her eyes. "How did you get him to leave?"

Deeks drops a lingering kiss to her hair as she burrows herself further into their embrace. Closing his own eyes, he thinks back over their day and he knows they both have some healing to do. Having her here, with him, makes it better and he thinks that maybe he makes it better for her too. Together, they should manage just fine.

"I told you," he says softly, "Love conquers all."


	50. Last Day

_angsty meme prompt from anon – "I just really need to have you here right now." _

_I'm going to apologize in advance...as the meme suggests, this isn't a fluffy piece_

* * *

He's at the beach because this is where he comes to find peace and balance amidst the harsh realities he sees in this world every day. The steady crashing of the waves and the fresh ocean air usually do wonders for his mind and his heart. Apparently not today though. He has been sitting in the sand for over an hour, waiting desperately for that feeling to wash over him, but his mind is still restless and his heart still hurts.

Pulling his gaze away from the horizon, Deeks sighs as he looks over to his faithful companion. He reaches out to stroke the mutt who has been by his side for years and smiles sadly at the brown eyes staring back at him, seemingly so unaware of what is going on. Deeks wishes, and not for the first time, that he could be so oblivious.

"Deeks?"

Her soft, hesitant voice interrupts his thoughts as she lowers herself to the sand beside him.

"Hey, Kens," he exhales, not even bothering to attempt a smile. "How'd you know we were here?"

Looping her arm through his, Kensi rests her head on his shoulder. "When you weren't home when I got there, I figured there were only a couple of places you might be."

She doesn't tell him that when he didn't answer the phone or any of her texts, she almost called the vet to make sure he wasn't still there. Or that the whole time she was driving to the beach, she was terrified that she was going to find him totally alone instead of with his trusty sidekick.

When Deeks tilts his head down to nuzzle his nose in her hair, she asks the question she's afraid she already knows the answer to. "What did the vet say?"

His sharp intake of breath and the way he slowly shakes his head against hers breaks her heart.

With his forehead pressed to her hair, Deeks takes a deep breath while he tries to draw strength from her to say out loud, for the first time, the words that he's been replaying in his head since this afternoon. The words that confirmed what they have feared since Monty started limping a week ago.

_Cancer. Very aggressive. Will deteriorate quickly. Not much we can do._

His silence says everything that he can't and Kensi shuffles closer to him until she's tucked into his side as he wraps his arm around her shoulders.

"How long?" she whispers.

"Tomorrow," his voice cracks and he pulls her even closer. "They said that...um…that he doesn't have much time and I don't want him to suffer."

Kensi closes her eyes as she feels the unmistakable sting of tears and shakes her head against his chest. There isn't much in this world that can bring her to tears, but knowing her partner and boyfriend – the man she loves – is in pain is something she doesn't handle well, especially when she can't make it go away.

"What can I do?" she pulls back slightly, reaching up to brush his blond curls off of his face. "Tell me what you need."

Deeks catches her off guard when leans forward and kisses her. It's needy and desperate and it's over almost as suddenly as it began. "You're already doing it." Resting his forehead against hers, his voice is sad, "I just need you here."


	51. Hell Hath No Fury (7x09)

_Post-ep for 7x09 - Defectors_

_I think I've forgotten this the past few updates, but I still don't own these characters, or anything other than the DVDs._

* * *

"Deeks!"

Kensi knew it was futile, but she couldn't say _nothing_ as she watched the unmarked police cruiser pulling away from the curb. The image of his profile framed by the back window of the car is already burned into her mind as it seemed like he was trying to look back at her without actually looking at her.

When the car makes a turn two blocks up the street and is instantly gone from her view, she's overcome with the need to shift her focus to one of the many emotions that are now crashing over her. Shock. Confusion. Frustration. Disbelief.

Fury.

The way he said _I love you_ before they ushered him to the waiting vehicle, like he was resigned, apologetic, and pleading with her all at once, that pisses her off.

The look on his face when the uniformed officer placed the cuffs on his wrists says he knew this was at least a possibility, and that pisses her off more.

The fact that she's tried to be the supportive girlfriend and gently probe him – but never push him – for information, only to be met with a whole lot of _I don't know_s, when it's clear that he _does_ know, pisses her off the most.

Doesn't he know that she loves him too? That she has his back, _always_, and would never let him fight this alone? That when she said 'All in,' she meant in _everything_?

Doesn't he know that they're stronger together?

Pacing the sidewalk where they last stood side by side, Kensi roughly runs her hand through her hair and blows out a puff of air.

She can't let this happen to him.

The Marty Deeks she knows has devoted his life to being one of the good guys, someone who can make even the most reluctant witness open up, someone who can't rest when there is still work to be done. The partner she's had for the past five years is supposed to become an agent someday, if he ever gets around to signing the papers he doesn't know she knows he has.

She can't let LAPD drag the name and reputation of one of their finest detectives through the mud, because despite whatever evidence they think they have, they're wrong.

She can't let this happen to them.

Last night can't be the last time she got to fall asleep listening to the strong beat of his heart, one arm wrapped protectively around her body. This morning can't be the last time she got to wake him up by trailing soft kisses along his jaw until he finally turns his head to capture her lips, sleepily mumbling, _Morning, Kensalina_ against her mouth_._

She finally sees a life and a future outside of her job and she's happy – _they're_ happy – and she has no intention of letting this case take that away.

So, no, she can't let this happen. The partner she trusts – the man she loves – is not a cold-blooded killer. Without any help from him, they'll be starting from scratch, but if there's anything their team is good at, it's solving the unsolvable and taking care of their own.

_Time to rally the troops_, she thinks.

Pulling out her phone, she goes as high up the chain of command as she can and doesn't even wait to figure out what she's going to say before she connects the call. When a gruff voice greets her on the other end, she halts her pacing and squares her shoulders. It's time to fight.

"Assistant Director. I need your help."

The rest of the Los Angeles Police Department is about to learn what Deeks already knows – hell hath no fury like Kensi Marie Blye.


	52. Right Here (5x19)

_angsty meme prompt from anon - "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."_

_This is loose continuation of Chapter 24 (Come Home With Me) and another tag to 5x19 - Spoils of War._

* * *

Deeks lies on Kensi's lumpy couch, wedged between her back and the cushions as his fingers trace soothing patterns up and down her arm. She's been asleep for almost two hours, but he can barely bring himself to blink, let alone close his eyes long enough to fall asleep. He's spent enough time without her lately, he can sleep another day.

After four months and one week, their reunion was hardly what he had imagined or hoped it would be. Seeing her alive had allowed him to breathe properly for the first time since Hetty had told him that she was reassigned, but absent were the things that he had dreamed of – the smiles, joyous laughs, and touches that held a promise of more intimate things to come. Instead, the image of the frail, broken shell of his kickass partner was burned in his memory and is still tearing his heart to shreds.

There were no smiles, only absent stares and avoidance of eye contact. Instead of laughter, there were barely withheld tears before the onslaught of quiet sobs shook her body as he held her close. And the touches they shared were tight hugs of comfort, support, and emotional need, a shoulder to lean on during the long flight home, and fingers laced together to ground them both.

Deeks knows this won't last, the lost, defeated, needy Kensi. He's almost surprised it's gone on this long and he's trying to mentally prepare himself for her to step back, put on a brave face, and act like she didn't just spend four months isolated overseas and wasn't held hostage by the Taliban. Not that he would blame her – there are things about his brief time there that he plans on burying as deep as he can in the crevices of his mind. He thinks they'll probably never talk about any of it again.

Kensi shifts slightly in her sleep, settling further back against his chest and when her head turns to rest just a breath away from his face, he can't stop himself from letting his lips lightly brush against her cheek. His doesn't have a lot of experience, but God, he loves kissing her. He feels selfish for wondering where they stand in the wake of all of this, but he silently vows not to push her for answers – it's more than enough for him right now to have her home. Despite their history of horrible communication skills, he trusts that she will bring it up when she's ready.

She begins to stir again, only now her movements are jerky and when she starts to whimper and lets out a pained groan, Deeks knows a nightmare is disrupting what had been a peaceful slumber. Unsure if he should try to wake her, he wraps his arm around her middle and pulls her even closer.

"Shhhh…I've got you, Kens," he murmurs. "You're safe now. I've got you."

He holds her until her body stills and her breath evens out. It's not until he feels her hand seeking out his as it rests on her stomach, that he realizes she's awake.

"Go back to sleep," he whispers. Entangling their fingers, he gives her hand a squeeze, "I'm right here."

"You're staying?"

He scoffs internally. Like he would rather be anywhere else.

He nods, "I'm not going anywhere."


	53. Déjà Vu

_kissing meme on tumblr - for aprylynn - "accidentally witnessed kiss"_

_I forgot to post this last week when I wrote it_

* * *

The air is cool by LA standards but Kensi only feels the comforting and familiar heat coming off her boyfriend's body as he leans in to her, pressing a soft kiss to the tip of her nose. The ice they're standing on has nothing on the warmth that fills her heart at the smile on his face.

"Thank you for coming here with me." Deeks rests his hands on the railing on either side of her, effectively pinning her to the boards of the ice rink. Her hands find his hips and he sighs contentedly at the contact, still smiling at her. The look on his face is one that Kensi can only describe as pure happiness.

"Did you think I wouldn't want to come?" She can't and doesn't try to hold back a broad smile of her own. "We have good memories here."

"The best."

"A whole year," she squeezes his hips, "can you believe it?"

"Yes…and no."

"No?"

"No because, we've been..._something_ for so long, I can't believe it's only been a year." He reaches up to tuck her hair behind her ear. "And before this year, things between us always seemed so complicated, I wasn't sure we could ever really have this…us…something normal."

She cocks her head, raising her eyebrows at that.

_Normal. _Yeah, if normal meant guns and bombs, undercover ops and internal affairs investigations, spending nights at home with matching ice packs and a shared bottle of ibuprofen.

As if he can read her mind, Deeks rolls his eyes, but he can't stop the chuckle that bubbles up from his chest. "Okay, so not _normal _normal."

Kensi's shoulders shake in silent laughter as she dips her fingers into the waistband of his jeans and pulls him against her. His arms wrap around her shoulders as hers snake around his waist and she settles her cheek against his chest, listening to the reassuring _thump-thump_ of his heart.

There may be a whole lot about their relationship that isn't normal, but the feeling she gets whenever he holds her close, when she links his fingers through hers as they walk down the street or sit on the couch, or simply when he does or says little things that prove how much he loves her – she's pretty sure that's the "normal" that matters.

Lifting her head and tilting back to look at him, she smiles when his eyes meet hers, "I love our normal."

He nods once and unlike their last trip to the ice rink, Kensi knows exactly what's coming next as he cups her face and lowers his lips to hers. "I do too," he mumbles against her mouth before kissing her again.

Lost in each other, they don't notice the constant rush of skaters moving around them or the way the trees light up as dusk settles on the city.

They also don't notice the man across the ice laughing to himself at the serious episode of déjà vu he's experiencing as he watches the young couple off in their own little world. The man shakes his head and smiles, thinking he should have known that the Hannas wouldn't be the only ones to make a trip to the ice rink an annual thing.


	54. Whole (7x11)

_Tag to 7x11, Cancel Christmas  
prompt from hysterical-for-joshifer on tumblr who requested the other fraction of a kiss that Kensi promised Deeks when they got home._

* * *

He has her backed up against the front door the instant it clicks shut behind them. His hands are on her face, gently cupping her jaw with the tips of his fingers threading into the soft waves of her hair, his nose just barely brushing against hers.

Her gaze falls to his lips, expecting them to come crashing to hers, but when he remains unmoving, she glances up and meets his stare. What she isn't expecting, is the myriad of emotions she sees swimming in the tears that are gathering in his eyes. It's a look of adoration and gratefulness mixed with a little sorrow and regret.

She's never seen this particular look before today, but after years of practice of reading him, she knows what he's trying to say.

_Thank you.  
I probably don't deserve you.  
I was so afraid of losing you.  
I'm still afraid of losing you.  
I love you._

Kensi opens her mouth, intending to say something to break him out of his trance, but the sudden burst of her own emotions stops her. Instead, she lifts her hands and trails her fingers up and down his sides before reaching to grasp his biceps, anchoring herself to him.

She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. It's been a long few months getting to this point of raw honesty. They still have a lot to talk about, but all she's wanted for all this time is for him to come to her – to trust her and what they have enough to tell her the truth (even when she didn't know what the truth was).

It's hard to explain, even to herself, why she didn't tell him that she knew what he's been harboring all these years. It was partly his reaction to her when she had visited him in jail – it was clear he _wanted_ to tell her something, but she had rushed out, not wanting a jailhouse confession to mark that turning point in their relationship. And it was partly because when has anything ever happened between them without one of them (usually her) pushing for it? As much as she wanted everything out in the open, she wanted it to be on his terms, because not only is that what he deserved, it's what she deserved from him too.

Needing to break the silence now, Kensi squeezes his arms and pulls away just enough to look him in the eye. Deeks smiles down at her this time, his eyes clearer and expression one of love and playfulness as his lips slowly curve into his usual smirk that she'll never admit to loving.

"What?" She says softly, her voice carries the lingering hint of emotion from whatever moment they just shared.

"I really am sorry, Kens, and I really do love you so much," he speaks just as quietly. "And I'm also trying to figure out how to give you three-fourths of a kiss."

She chuckles, then leans into him until their lips are almost touching, "Maybe you should just start over."

"That works for me," he murmurs, lingering for a moment before finally pressing his lips to hers in a slow, sweet kiss.

When he pulls back, the words Kensi saw written on his face before are no longer only in her mind. His voice is barely above a whisper, but his eyes never leave hers.

"Thank you, for loving me enough to still be here. I probably don't deserve you, but I _want_ to. I was just so afraid of losing you – I'm _still_ afraid of losing you, but I promise…no more secrets—"

She cuts him off with another kiss, already knowing what he was going to say next.

"What was that for?"

She shrugs, "Special circumstances."


	55. Unexpected

_angsty meme prompt from hermionesmydawg - "Please...put it DOWN." Any NCISLA characters  
Oops, this prompt is over a month old and oops, I was supposed to be working on the second chapter to Jolly. Oh well._

_Takes place between Defectors and Internal Affairs. As usual, I don't own anything._

* * *

It takes her a few tries to get the key in the door because she can't steady her hand. She's pretty sure she hasn't stopped shaking since Deeks was handcuffed on the street almost twelve hours ago. _Has it really been twelve hours? _ Kensi thinks to herself as she finally gets turns the deadbolt and steps into the house. She should be exhausted, but a lot of adrenaline and even more caffeine keep her going. She can sleep when he's not in jail anymore.

"Monty, I'm so sorry buddy," she blows out a short whistle for the dog, despite the fact that he's probably sleeping considering the sun is just peaking up over the horizon.

When she turns to the living room, she expects to see the mutt on the couch where he usually spends his time waiting for his humans to come home, except he's nowhere to be seen. And Kensi suddenly finds herself on high alert – her instincts telling her something is off.

Someone else is in the house.

Silently and with the fluidity born of years of being a highly trained agent, Kensi draws her SIG from the waistband of her jeans and quickly clears the living room and eating area as she stalks towards the kitchen. Stepping slowly towards the counter, she falters at the sight of a recently-brewed pot of coffee. _What kind of intruder makes themselves coffee?_

"Kensi?"

Her head snaps to the now-open back door and she reflexively points her weapon at the unexpected visitor, though she recognizes the voice almost instantly. Intruders might not make coffee, but boyfriends' mothers might.

"Mrs. Deeks." She exhales a deep breath, willing her heart to stop beating so fast. "What are you doing here?"

Unmoving from the doorway and looking just as startled as Kensi feels, Roberta nods hesitantly at the gun still pointed in her general direction, "Could you…please…put that down, hon?"

Kensi lowers the weapon instantly and clicks on the safety. "Sorry, I just…" she shakes her head as if trying to clear her mind. "I thought you wouldn't get in until this afternoon."

She had dreaded making the phone call to Mrs. Deeks, a woman she's only met once before, to tell her about her only child's arrest. And she knew Deeks wouldn't be thrilled that she called her at all, but how could she _not_? He needed all the people in his corner he could get and Kensi had a feeling she might be needing moral support from someone who loves him like she does.

"I should have called," Roberta says apologetically as she makes her way into the kitchen, drawing Kensi from her thoughts. "I was going to wait until morning but I knew I wouldn't sleep, so I figured I would just drive. I arrived an hour ago and thought you must be sleeping or working to get Martin out and I didn't want to distract you from either. I'm sorry I surprised you."

Kensi smiles softly at the older woman, who is clearly responsible for Deeks' tendency to ramble when thrown off balance. "I have been," she nods, "Working, I mean. Then I realized we never came home to feed Monty or let him out, so I was just stopping by to do that before going back to the office."

"He's been good company."

"He usually is." Kensi looks fondly at Monty as he meanders in from outside, tail wagging more furiously when he sees her.

A brief, strangely comfortable silence settles over them as Roberta busies herself with refilling her coffee mug and then emptying the pot into a travel mug for Kensi. Accepting the coffee with mumbled thanks, Kensi offers up what little information she knows – that Deeks is being charged with the murder of his former partner and that LAPD is being rather tightlipped otherwise.

"Have you spoken to him?" Roberta sounds almost hopeful.

Kensi huffs out a breath in frustration. "No. I don't know if he hasn't been given the chance to call yet or if he had to use his one phone call to get in touch with someone else who could help him."

Roberta shakes her head emphatically, "He'll call you, Kensi. I know my son and I see the way you two look at each other. He knows no one else will fight for him like you will. He'll call you."

As if on cue, Kensi's cell phone starts to ring. Her heart is racing as she reaches into her pocket and frantically fumbles with the phone. Glancing down at the screen, she almost groans when the caller ID doesn't display an unknown number, but rather one she knows all too well.

"It's our boss," she explains dejectedly before connecting the call. "Hetty? Yeah….uh-huh…okay, I'll be back in twenty." Hanging up with Hetty, Kensi stares at the phone for a few seconds afterwards, willing it to ring again, wanting desperately to talk to Deeks.

Roberta's gentle hand on her arm brings her out of her stupor and Kensi gives her a sad smile. "I have to –"

"Go. Yep." She cuts her off, already ushering her towards the front entrance. "I'll be okay here."

Kensi stops and turns to her when they reach the door, "You call me if you need _anything_, okay?"

Roberta nods absently, and when her gaze meets Kensi's, her expression is sad and fearful. "I just need him out of this mess. I need to know he's going to come home."

Kensi quickly diverts her eyes and steps towards the door, wanting to get away before the same trepidation she hears in his mother's voice surfaces in her own mind and wipes out the determination and fury that have been fueling her. She lets out a shaky breath as she reaches for the door handle and allows herself one fleeting moment of commiserating uncertainty. Looking back to the older woman, the emotions on her face mirroring Roberta's, Kensi swallows hard, "That's what I need, too."


	56. Tension

_A little speculation for 7x14 (Come Back)_  
_Inspired by some of the promo pics and clips/sneak peeks. Putting all of those together left me feeling so sad for Kensi. With how excited she was to tell the team that she was moving in with Deeks to the lost look on her face and obvious tension in the room when they come across Jack. It just makes me hate Hetty more for doing that to them._

* * *

"I need to get some air." Kensi strode quickly across the room, not bothering to wait for permission from Granger to leave. Her mind was running in a million different directions – it had been all day – and the walls of the apartment felt as if they were closing in on her.

"Kensi, I'm—"

She paused as she pulled open the door and shook her head, "Don't, Jack. Just…don't."

Deeks watched her go, hating that she was struggling and wishing he knew how to help her. The day had gone from awesome to horrible in the spilt second it took Jack to get their attention after they arrived this morning. Things were awkward and tense from that moment on and Kensi's mood only soured more as the day dragged on. It had been no picnic for him either, but he was focused on her.

When the door clicked shut, he turned to Granger, who was already nodding in the direction Kensi had left – silently granting him permission to follow. He nodded in return, "Thanks."

"Deeks…" Jack's voice stopped him before he had the chance to go more than a step or two. "I'm sorry for this."

Deeks sighed, "It's not your fault, man."

Jack gave him a sad smile, as though he knew that wasn't entirely true, but he didn't say anything else as Deeks stepped past him and out of the apartment.

Shutting the door behind him, Deeks looked up and down the hallway, trying to decide which way Kensi would have gone. The stairwell to the roof caught his eye and since it was closer than going down three flights of stairs to the street, he started there.

When he stepped out into the bright daylight on top of the building, he found Kensi sitting against the brick with her head resting in her hands. She looked up at the sound of the approaching footsteps, though she didn't need to to know who had followed her – she had counted on Deeks not being far behind her. He didn't say anything as he walked over to stand beside her, so she didn't say anything either. She wasn't sure what to say anyway.

It was several minutes before Kensi's voice, filled with so much emotion, broke the silence between them. "Why today? Of all days for _this_ to happen, why did it have to be today?"

Deeks wondered the same thing.

It was supposed to be a happy day. One filled with smiles and looks and visions of leaving her apartment for the last time and falling asleep in _their _bed in _their_ home. And for once, Kensi had let herself naively hope that their unpredictable job would grant them the day that she wanted. Instead, like some sort of cruel joke, those hopes were completely demolished by the sudden and completely unexpected appearance of the only other man she had ever pictured sharing a life with.

"Come here," Deeks tugged on her hands and pulled her to her feet.

Kensi went to him willingly and wrapped her arms around his waist. With her head tucked underneath his chin, her cheek pressed to his chest, she let the steady beat of his heart calm her. She wished she could spend the rest of the day pressed against his warm, familiar body, surrounded by his comforting scent, and far away from the apartment below them.

Deeks pressed a kiss to her hair. "What can I do?"

"You're doing it," Kensi sighed. "I'm just so…"

"I know—"

"…Pissed. I'm pissed, Deeks." She stepped back and ran her hand through her hair. "Aren't you pissed?"

He was. He hadn't admitted to her that he had been afraid to tell the team about their decision to live together. Not because he worried about their reactions – he knew they wouldn't care, that they probably assumed it wasn't a new development in their relationship – but because he couldn't tramp down the dread he felt that something bad would happen.

Then it did.

It wasn't the first time – Hetty had a knack for ruining things for them. Secret, bogus missions to Afghanistan (which, ironically, involved Jack), cryptic mind games from Agent Angelo, and now Jack again – and she hadn't even had the decency to warn them.

So, yeah, Deeks was pissed. They deserved better.

"I am," he agreed. "I'm mad at Hetty for not telling us Jack was here. It's definitely not how I pictured our day going."

Kensi nodded and turned to look out over the expanse of rooftops from their perch on the outskirts of the city. "And I'm mad at Jack, too," she admitted, her voice breaking ever so slightly.

Deeks wasn't expecting that, though it certainly explained why she had seemed more on edge as the day wore on.

"After Afghanistan, I thought I could finally close that chapter of my life once and for all. I finally had the answers I never got after waking up alone that Christmas morning." She let out a deep breath and fought against the sting of tears in her eyes. "But seeing him again…I didn't realize I was still angry with him until today."

"Kens," he reached out and squeezed her hand, "you might always be mad at him, after what he did. And that's okay. But, if there's things you still need to say to him…you've got to say it."

Kensi shifted her gaze to the ground. She knew he was right. Maybe she would always harbor anger towards Jack, but she also needed to talk to him.

Deeks saw the war of emotions flash over her features. Tension radiated off of her and her expression was one of exhaustion and frustration and a little sadness. His own anger towards Jack grew and he felt helpless, knowing there was little he could do to make this all go away. He wanted nothing more than to fast-forward to the end of this case go home, with her, and put this all behind them.

"I just want to go home." Kensi must have read his mind. She turned to face him and dropped her forehead to his shoulder, resting her hands on his waist.

"We will." Deeks kissed her temple and hugged her to him. "Maybe it won't be tonight, but when this is over, we'll get the last load of boxes from your place and then we'll go home. To _our_ home."

"Our home," Kensi repeated, smiling for the first time in hours. The faintest hint of the excitement she felt this morning fluttered inside her. "I can't wait."


	57. Deal (7x18)

_Post-ep for 7x18 (Exchange Rate). I felt like Kensi and Deeks's little tiff about her mess and him sneaking off to shower at the boatshed needed more of an actual resolution._

_I feel a bit rusty - it's been a while since I've written anything. But enjoy :)_

_As always, I own nothing._

* * *

Clad in only a pair of panties and the camisole she wore under her top today, Kensi stands in the bathroom and inventories her personal hygiene products that are currently stashed inside the not-so-big shower. It's not quite eleven different shampoos or fourteen bottles of conditioner, but when she pulled back the shower curtain to turn on the water, she was suddenly very aware that Deeks maybe has a point about all of her stuff being in the way.

She picks up one bottle of shampoo and is surprised when it feels almost empty, before she recalls getting new shampoo a couple of weeks ago and how she wanted to try it out before getting rid of the one in her hand. Then there's the two others that she alternates when her hair gets too dry, but she's having trouble remembering why she has two for that purpose. And there _are_ three bottles of conditioner congregating in one corner (one of which she's pretty sure is also basically empty), and Deeks wasn't wrong about there being two detanglers. He was apparently also nice enough not to mention the two different body washes, the can of shaving gel, and a couple of her razors taking up more than their share of the one tiny shelf on the shower wall.

The sound of the front door clicking shut draws Kensi out of her thoughts as she begins lining up all of the offending products on the countertop. Deeks had wanted to shop for cleaning supplies after work, but she convinced him to drop her off at home so that she could shower before he came home with dinner and whatever else it was he planned to pick up. Truth be told, she had been trying to think of ways to get out of cleaning up until the moment she came into the bathroom to take a shower.

Glancing at her watch, she realizes she's been standing in the bathroom, contemplating what to do with everything for more than just a few minutes. "Shit," she mumbles under her breath, suddenly feeling self-conscious at the thought of him catching her in the act of tidying up her mess, despite the fact that she already agreed to do it. She crosses her fingers that he at least stays downstairs and doesn't come looking for her.

"Kens?"

Of course he comes looking for her.

"Just a second." She hurries to open the doors on the vanity, tossing all of the various bottles under the sink without even looking. The last bottle of body wash is in her hand as the bathroom door opens and Deeks pokes his head inside.

His eyes drift over her almost-naked body appreciatively and then he can't bite back the smirk that pulls at the corners of his mouth when he sees what she's holding.

"What, uh…what are you doing?" he asks with a chuckle.

Kensi glares at him because she knows that he knows exactly what she's doing.

"You know, when I said having all of that stuff in the shower bothers me, I didn't mean you had to take _all_ of it out, right?" Deeks is barely holding back a laugh as he looks from the body wash in her hands, to the now-empty shower, to the open cabinet door.

Kensi groans and pushes against the door, trying to close it on him, but he's too quick and steps inside.

"Kens, really, what are you doing?" Her growing frustration level with the situation is obvious, so Deeks cuts her off before she can snap at him. "I mean, not really _what,_ because I can figure out the gist of it but…why?"

She sighs, running a hand through her hair. "I came in here to shower and when I saw everything in there, I kept thinking about you sneaking off to the boatshed this morning and I started to feel guilty. You should feel like you can shower in our own house, Deeks."

Deeks pauses for a moment, a soft smile on his lips – he loves hearing her call it _our house_. Leaning over, he pecks her on the cheek. "So all the toilet-flushing and acting like you didn't know what I was talking about this morning…"

She glares at him again. "_That_ was mostly because I didn't know how much it actually bothered you and I was annoyed that instead of talking to me about it, you thought the better solution was to just not shower here."

He has the decency to look guilty at that. Even though it's been more than a year now, and they're happy and living together, he's still trying to figure out how not to screw this up. He knew she saw his teasing of her messes as just that – innocent, meaningless jokes – and that morning, he balked at the idea of having a more serious conversation about it, afraid to hurt her feelings. So he went to the boatshed without realizing that would ultimately only make things worse.

"I don't want to screw this up, Deeks." Kensi's voice, softer now, cuts through his thoughts. He looks surprised at her admission, as though he forgets that he's not the only one afraid of losing what they have. "I'm messy and I don't like to clean, but that doesn't mean I can't try. For you, for us, to make sure this keeps working. But that means you have to try too – tell me when my mess is too much. Today it was the shower, next week it might be the kitchen, and next month it might be the laundry. I just don't want you to come to bed one night, get fed up with the mess I make of the sheets, and decide to sleep somewhere else."

Deeks reaches for her hand and tugs her close to him, wrapping his arms around her shoulders as her hands find his hips. "Well _that_ wouldn't happen," he mumbles against her skin as he presses his lips to her forehead, "I like sleeping next to you too much."

"That's not my point, Deeks."

"I know it's not." He rubs his hands up and down her back and sighs. "If you're going to try to keep things more tidy, I will try to be better at telling you if anything is bothering me. Deal?"

Kensi nods. "Deal."

He takes a deep breath and his hands settle at her waist. He drops a kiss to her lips. "I'm sorry I didn't talk to you about this earlier."

"I'm sorry I let my messes get out of control."

"It's not like I didn't know you like to hoard things."

Kensi opens her mouth to defend herself – to tell him for the millionth time that she's _not_ a hoarder – but then she thinks of the stash of shampoos and conditioners and other toiletries she just threw under the sink and realizes they tell a different story. Maybe they _should_ get a maid. Or a bigger place. She wonders if more space means her mess wouldn't be so noticeable and bothersome. She smiles at Deeks, who is looking at her curiously, and shakes off the idea. Not today – maybe soon, but not today.

"Why don't you go reheat our dinner and I'll take a quick shower."

Deeks glances towards the shower, then back at her, is eyes twinkling. "You know…there's a lot more room in there now. There may even be room for two…"

She laughs and pinches his sides, "Dinner, Deeks."

"Yes, dear," he sighs and moves to pull away but Kensi tightens her grip on him.

"_Then_ a shower for two."

"Yeah?" He looks positively giddy.

"Yeah." She winks and steps around him and into their bedroom to throw on a pair of yoga pants. "It would be a shame not to take advantage of all that extra room."

Following her out of the bathroom, Deeks grabs her by the hand and pulls her hastily towards the stairs, eager to get dinner over with. "Now, that sounds like my kind of deal."


	58. Not Now, Not Never (7x19)

_post-ep for 7x19 (The Seventh Child)_

_I hate when I don't get post-eps finished before the next ep airs (mostly because I sometimes lose motivation to finish them at all) and I almost didn't get this one done, but here it is, with just a few minutes to spare. Enjoy!_

_Usual disclaimer applies - I own nothing_

* * *

The day was long, the case one of their craziest and most difficult, and the tension between them higher than Kensi remembers it being in a long time.

Then, Deeks all but said he wants to marry her, and she all but said yes. And suddenly, at least one thing was very right in their little world.

He had chased her out of the Mission, pinned her against the Audi and kissed her as if there weren't cameras keeping watch over the parking lot. The drive home was wonderfully and happily awkward and dinner wasn't given a second thought as she dragged him upstairs, pushed him down on the bed, and straddled him as she stripped off her shirt.

As it turns out, admitting that you're it for each other is quite the turn on.

Warm, calloused fingers trace random patterns over the sensitive skin of her stomach, before making their way below her navel. Kensi flinches, her body still coming down from the most recent high brought on by those same, talented fingers. Thinking that her boyfriend is gearing up for round three – or maybe it's four – she smiles and presses her body back against his, her hand reaching behind her to smooth over his unruly hair.

"I'm sorry."

The words come out so softly, Kensi is sure she wouldn't have heard them, if not for the complete lack of physical space between them.

"Sorry?" Her hand stills and his does the same. "For what?"

Deeks sighs and releases his hold on her, turning to lie flat on his back and staring at the ceiling. Kensi follows, flipping onto her stomach and propping herself up on her elbows as she waits patiently for his response.

"I don't know," he shrugs. "For not really having an answer about the baby thing, I guess. I have to admit, I always assumed that if you ever agreed to have my baby, I'd be jumping all over that."

Kensi nods – she'd assumed the same thing – but she hates that he's feeling down on himself about what happened today. "I'm sorry too. For seeming so eager and like I was pushing us to have a baby right now."

"You don't want to have one right now?" Deeks sounds genuinely surprised. He also sounds relieved. "But, the magazine…"

"That really was just because I happened to see it and decided to buy it. A headline about the top things to do before having a baby caught my eye." Kensi moves to lie down, her head pillowed on his chest and one arm slung low across his waist. "I know we're not ready yet. But then you were sounding so hesitant and talking about what a big commitment it is – like a commitment is a bad thing – and I didn't know what to think."

"I'm committed to _you_."

"I know." Kensi smiles softly. "And I love you and for the first time in a long time, I see myself with a family and a future outside of work, and that means a lot, Deeks."

Nodding silently, Deeks presses a kiss to the top of her head. He gets it, because for the first time in probably his whole life, he sees the same thing – something worth living for. Ironically, that's what scares him about having a baby. His job with NCIS, his partnership with Kensi, and now his relationship with her, are the best things in his life and a baby would change so much of that. He doesn't doubt the many wonderful things a child would bring to their lives, but he would be lying to himself, and to Kensi, if he said he's not scared of the changes that would have to take place should they decide to become parents, especially given their line of work.

"What changed?"

Kensi's soft-spoken question interrupts the many thoughts running through his mind.

"Hmm?"

"You said you assumed that if I wanted to have a baby, you'd be all over it." She reminds him. "What changed?"

Deeks chuckles. "Well, until last year, I honestly never thought it would be a reality."

"You never thought I would want kids?"

"I never thought you would want _me_, let alone kids with me."

"Deeks…" Kensi lifts her head, sadness in her eyes and her voice.

"No…hey," he whispers as he presses his lips to her forehead. "I've never been happier to be proven wrong. And that's not the only thing that changed last year."

Lifting her eyes to his, she sees the darkness clouding his blue eyes and immediately recognizes the look on his face. It's a look she saw frequently last year, but one that has been blissfully absent since Christmastime.

"The Internal Affairs investigation."

He nods, "Yeah. It made me see things differently, you know? I've been shot, tortured…been so close to death so many times, but last year was the first time I really realized that I stood to lose something real – my jobs, both at NCIS and LAPD. You." He wraps his arm around her, hugging her tightly to his side. "And if we have a baby…"

"It would be so much worse if something happened to you," Kensi finishes.

"Or to you. But, yeah."

Kensi reaches her hand up, running her fingers through the hair at his temples and trailing them down the side of his face to his jaw. She pulls him toward her, their lips meeting in a slow, gentle kiss – a silent gesture of reassurance and understanding. His fears are hers too, it's why she's never really pictured herself with kids – at least not until this _thing_ with Deeks took the amazing turn that it did. Now, she's not sure she can imagine a life without the little mutant ninja assassins he used to joke about.

"I'm not saying it has to be now," she reassures him as she pulls back and rests her head on his shoulder.

"And I'm not saying it has to be never." He shifts slightly, pulling the sheet up their bodies to fight the late night chill. A long yawn escapes him as he loses the battle with sleep. "I have other things I want to do first."

"Like rings and beaches and sunsets?"

"Mmm," he agrees, his eyes fluttering closed. "If you think I have a chance."

Burrowing deeper into his embrace, Kensi presses a light kiss to his chest and surrenders to the pull of slumber herself. "I think it's looking pretty good."


	59. Wifey

_I'm trying to get better at answering the prompts I ask for. And to remember that it's okay to keep things short and sweet._

_things you said on our honeymoon - for aprylynn and babywilma_

* * *

"Ohhh, Wifey!"

Kensi's eyes are closed, but she smiles at the sound of Deeks's voice as he returns from the poolside bar with drinks and their daily afternoon snack. The warm sand beneath her and the warm sun above her, in combination with the gentle sound of waves hitting the shore, have just about put her to sleep in the short time he was gone.

"Kens?"

She chuckles and opens one eye, squinting against the bright afternoon light. "I think that's the first time you've called me by name all week." In the eight days since their wedding, he's called her every variation of this new pet name and the most endearing part is that she's not even sure he knows he's been doing it.

Even his well-tanned skin can't mask the slight blush that colors his cheeks, and he pauses as if to think about it. Realizing she's right, he simply shrugs and smiles softly. "I just can't believe we actually got married. You're my _wife_."

Opening both eyes now, Kensi props herself up on her elbows as Deeks lowers himself beside her on the blanket. She leans over and presses a soft kiss to his bare shoulder and he turns his head to capture her lips with his. When he pulls back, he's looking at her like she hopes he always looks at her – it sends a shiver down her spine and makes her feel loved in a way she never imagined.

"It's pretty incredible, isn't it, Hubby?"


	60. All of Me (7x22)

_Tag (kind of) to 7x22 "Granger, O" _

_Still don't own them, and I don't own John Legend's song ("All of Me") either.  
_

* * *

The steady tempo of the band welcomes Kensi back onto the lawn of the Ojai Inn. She smiles to herself as she looks on at the party in front of her - Kat couldn't have asked for a more beautiful night for her wedding. The white drapes of the reception tent sway in a light breeze as the stars begin to sparkle in the expansive, clear night sky above them.

Her eyes scan over the 250 guests, looking for one in particular. When she spots him, she can't help but laugh as she makes her way to where he stands, watching the show ponies linger around their small corral.

"You're not changing your mind about having ponies at our hypothetical wedding, right?" She jokes as she comes to a stop next to her boyfriend and wraps her arm around his waist, leaning into his side.

Deeks chuckles. "Nah. I don't think Monty would approve." His arm reaches across her shoulders, pulling her close as he presses a kiss to her temple. "And our wedding didn't sound so hypothetical a few days ago when our guest list was growing at an alarming rate," he teases.

Kensi rolls her eyes, but can't hide the small smile on her lips. "It's all hypothetical until you propose."

"Hey, I proposed…kind of."

An exasperated huff leaves her almost involuntarily. He's baiting her and they both know it. Ever since that night after work, when he "kind of" proposed, Deeks randomly asks her how the wedding plans are coming along - if there's a date he needs to keep open or if she wants him to come with her to scout out beach locations. It's not as though she doesn't let herself envision things about their wedding even though there is no official engagement, but so many things about their lives and their relationship have been abnormal, she just wants _this_ thing to be more traditional.

Kensi pulls back slightly and at the sight of his knowing smirk, she sends him a pointed look. Just as she begins to respond, the gentle strum of the piano settles over the reception – a slow, familiar tune enticing couples to the dance floor.

"Dance with me?" Deeks's smile softens and he drops his arm from her shoulders to grab hold of her hand, lacing their fingers together.

It's not the proposal she's waiting for, but one she's more than happy to accept. Squeezing his hand, Kensi nods and lets him lead her to an open space on the floor. When Deeks turns to her, his free hand loops around her waist as hers drapes over his shoulder, fingers threading through the soft curls at the nape of his neck. His eyes flutter closed at her touch and she presses herself closer to him.

_All of me loves all of you  
Love your curves and all your edges  
All your perfect imperfections_

As the lyrics of John Legend float over the reception, Kensi's attention is focused on the low rumble vibrating in her chest as Deeks almost-inaudibly sings along with the tune. She smiles as her head comes to rest on his shoulder – he's always told her how much this song reminds him of her.

"You know I'm just teasing, right?" Deeks asks, his voice nothing but a low murmur as his lips brush against the side of her head. "When I say I've already proposed."

Kensi turns her head and presses a soft kiss to his cheek. "I know."

She knows because she sees it in his eyes and how they twinkle when he makes a joke. She knows because he dons that infuriatingly cocky smirk at the same time – the one she can't help but love because it's just so Deeks. And she knows because the mischievous looks aren't enough to mask his complete devotion and adoration and there is no doubt in her mind that he will do anything to make sure she's happy.

_Give your all to me, I'll give my all to you  
You're my end and my beginning  
Even when I lose, I'm winning_

Wrapped up in each other, they sway to the slow beat as Deeks continues to hum along. Kensi silently muses about how long they both fought against the connection they have. Loving him comes so easily now, she wonders how she could have ignored it for so many years.

She thinks about the future – _their_ future – and fluttery feeling in her heart is overwhelming. When Jack left her, all visions of a life filled with this kind of love and having her own family were pushed out of her mind. Not for the first time, she feels grateful for that lonely Christmas morning, because it eventually led her to Deeks.

"When I ask you for real, you'll know. And it will be the kind of proposal you want and deserve."

His quiet assurance cuts through her thoughts and she lifts her head to look into his eyes. Saying nothing, she simply leans forward and captures his lips with hers. Deeks breaks the kiss but keeps his face close, touching his forehead to hers.

Kensi closes her eyes and focuses on his arm around her waist, anchoring her to him, and his other hand still clasped firmly with hers, and exhales. Quiet moments like this always have a way of putting so much into perspective.

Opening her eyes, she brushes her thumb across his cheek and cups his jaw, drawing his gaze to meet hers. "As long as the proposal ends with you asking me to be your wife, it will be everything I want. And I don't need show ponies and I don't care if we have 250 guests or 10." She kisses him again. "This…you and me…is what matters. It's what makes me happy."

Deeks smiles at her, his eyes looking suspiciously misty, and pulls her against him into a tight hug. "I love you, Kens."

"I love you, too."


	61. Without Warning (7x23)

_post-ep for 7x23 - "Where There's Smoke..."_

* * *

Kensi is a few steps out of the truck and walking towards Roberta's front door when she realizes that she's alone. Looking over her shoulder, she sees Deeks sitting motionless in the driver's seat. Even with the short distance between them, she can sense the mixture of hesitation, worry, and frustration radiating off of him. Backtracking, she opens the passenger door and slips back into her seat and turns her body to face her boyfriend.

"What's wrong, Deeks?" She asks the question gently, though she can guess exactly what this is about.

Deeks is silent for a moment, his eyes trained on her face, studying her carefully. When he finally speaks, Kensi is caught so off-guard by his question that he has to repeat it.

"You would really follow me into a burning building?"

She sighs and gives him a pointed look. "If you don't already know the answer to that on your own, then I've been a terrible partner these past six years."

The same soft smile from earlier settles on his face and he reaches out to brush a stray hair off of her face. "You would, and you're right, I do know that."

"I know you know…so why are you really still sitting in the truck? Because it's not to question my loyalties to you in the field."

He's silent again, but Kensi can see his mind churning as he tries to figure out what to say. She's still pretty sure she knows what is bothering him, even though his original question was completely unexpected and off the assumed-topic.

"And you would really help me kick this guy's ass?" He nods towards the house.

And there it is.

Kensi reaches across the center console to lace her fingers with his, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. "Yes. _If_ he deserves it."

Deeks exhales loudly, his eyes trained on their joined hands. "Fair enough. But I reserve the right to be skeptical."

"I just…I think you should give him a chance."

"I can't believe she didn't tell me. And now she wants me to meet him? With no warning!"

Kensi snorts and she can't hold back the laughter that bubbles out of her. Deeks clearly doesn't see the irony in the situation and she can't help but want to mock him for it. "I know, that really sucks, doesn't it?"

Deeks looks at her curiously for a few seconds, obviously not expecting the sarcasm, before she sees realization dawn on him. Then he at least has the decency to look a little guilty.

"Meeting someone who's important to someone you love with barely any notice…I can't _imagine_ what that's like." She winks at him, "Oh wait…I can. Only I had about five seconds, not over an hour."

"Yeah, I don't know if that's exactly the same thing," Deeks squeaks out, rubbing the back of his head. "At least you knew my mom existed. I didn't know my mom even _wanted_ to date, let alone that she's apparently been with him long enough to want us to meet him."

He's practically pouting, but the look of genuine concern in his eyes quiets Kensi's laughs. There's a history here that she will never be able to fully understand no matter how much Deeks has told her. His innate need to protect people, especially those he's closest to, is one of the things she loves most about him. So, if he feels like he needs to look out for his mom when it comes to her boyfriend, Kensi will have his back.

Reaching out, Kensi cups his face, feeling the familiar scruff from his jaw brushing against her palms. When his eyes meet hers, she kisses him gently. "I know this is hard for you, but I'm here – for you and for your mom. Let's just see how tonight goes before we go about plotting some sort of attack on the poor guy, okay?"

A small smile graces his face and Deeks chuckles quietly. He closes the distance between them and presses a kiss to Kensi's cheek. "Okay."

"Good. So, can we go inside now?" Kensi glances towards the house and catches a glimpse of Roberta's silhouette through the window. "I'm hungry and your mom has already peeked through the curtains four times."

Nodding, Deeks finally steps out of the truck. Meeting Kensi on the other side as she closes her door, he reaches for her hand. Before they turn to head for the front door, he tugs on her hand and pulls her in for a hug.

"Thanks, Kens."

She says nothing and tucks her head under his chin, settling into his embrace and allowing her arms to wrap tightly around his waist. When Deeks moves to take a step back, he seeks out her hand once more. Kensi laces their fingers together and lets him lead her up the front walkway.

"Now, let's get you some of that aglio e olio-lio-lio-lio."

Kensi's stomach growls in agreement and she grins up at him, "Mmm, finally. Andiamo!"


	62. Forbidden Kiss (6x16)

_prompt from babywilma and s-sdensi on tumblr - "forbidden kiss"_

_Tag to 6x16 - Expiration Date_

* * *

The hospital's hallway looks more like a battlefield than the sterile, white corridor it usually is. Weapons, blood, and now-covered bodies of Gurkhas litter the tiled floor. Kensi closes her eyes and drops her head back against the wall she's leaning on, but is unable to wipe the events of today from her mind. She takes a deep breath and once again trains her sight on the still-closed door to the restroom where Deeks has been for the past ten minutes.

She had helplessly watched her partner-slash-boyfriend back out of Sam's hospital room, his eyes never leaving Thapa's body. They see death almost every day but she knows this one is hitting him hard. Not knowing what he needs, she had hesitated in following him when she saw him duck into the men's room a few doors down, instead deciding to stand just outside.

Another five minutes pass and Kensi's worry is increasing. Glancing in the direction of Sam's room to make sure she doesn't see Callen or another agent they work with, she pushes off the wall and quietly opens the bathroom door.

Slipping inside, her eyes land on Deeks's hunched over form and her heart aches for him. His normally strong, steady hands are trembling as he grips the edges of the white porcelain sink. His head is hanging low between his arms and though the faucet is on, Kensi can hear the shaky breath he releases.

Wordlessly, she comes up behind him and places her hands on his waist as she leans forward and rests her forehead between his shoulder blades.

"I'm so sorry, Deeks," Kensi whispers against his back when she feels him reach to turn the water off. "I wish there was something I could do."

Deeks turns to face her, his eyes red and cheeks glistening with evidence of the tears that have been falling, and grips her hips. Dropping his forehead to her shoulder, he takes another uneven breath and Kensi can tell he's trying to fight against the onslaught of more tears.

"I love you." Kensi closes her eyes and runs a hand over his hair as she turns her head to press a kiss to his temple. "I'm here. Whatever you need."

Deeks lifts his head and as Kensi reaches her other hand up to cup his face, he captures her lips in a slow but desperate kiss. She knows this isn't a pain she can simply kiss and make better, but she doesn't pull away, even when she's hit with the fleeting thought that someone could walk in on this intimate moment at any second.

This isn't exactly the way they had planned on anyone finding out that they're together.

It's only been two months, but it's been surprisingly difficult to hide the change in their relationship status at work. The need to lean into him or hug him after a stressful day, or to kiss him after a close call, is stronger than Kensi ever imagined it would be. She thinks back to their fight this morning and how the whole thing seems more and more stupid as the day has gone on – how could it not when the rest of the day included Sam getting shot, battling a small army of Gurkhas, and losing Thapa?

Partners, friends, lovers – the lines of their relationship haven't been clear for ages. Who cares if they spend all their time together or if someone – or everyone – finds out that they're dating? In this moment, Kensi certainly doesn't, and she would give anything for more time than she knows they have before someone comes looking for them.

"I needed that," Deeks says quietly as he breaks the kiss and hugs her tightly to his chest.

"Did it help?"

"For a second it helped me forget."

Kensi sighs, "I don't think he would want you to forget."

Deeks nods slowly and presses his lips to her hair. "I know."

A long few moments later, Kensi exhales and pulls away before she completely forgets that they're on the job and loses herself completely in being wrapped up in his arms.

"We should go check in with Callen," she explains. "Maybe we can get out of here and go home…you can pick our take-out for tonight? Maybe a movie too?" They may have argued about how much time they spend together and her need for a little space now and then, but after today, she just wants to be there for him.

Offering a slight, sad smile, Deeks pauses as if he wants to say something, but simply takes a deep breath instead. "I'll go out first and let you know if the coast is clear."

As he strides over to the door and reaches for the handle, Kensi remembers something she wanted to tell him this morning. Something that, given the number of times they could have died today, she _should_ have told him this morning.

"Deeks…" She pauses until he turns to look at her. "You make me a better kind of happy. The best kind. I just…I wanted to make sure you knew that."

The smile he gives her now is still barely there, but more importantly, it's happy.


	63. Crash

_very old prompt from anon on tumblr - I almost lost you kiss**  
**_

_this inadvertently turned into a bit of speculation for season 8 and whatever happens to Kensi in order to hide Dani's pregnancy  
_

* * *

"Kens?"

Silence.

"Kensi?"

Her name comes out as nothing but a sharp exhale as Deeks tries to regain his bearings. His head is throbbing and he's not even sure why he feels the need to check on his partner-slash-girlfriend. He closes his eyes and brings his hands to his face, trying to focus on remembering why he's in so much pain.

The wet, sticky blood that coats his fingers when he pulls them from his temple is unexpected, but only for a split second before the missing pieces of the past few minutes crash into place.

Crash. The helicopter. Tracking the bad guys. Pilot shot. The ground rushing at them. Now he knows why he feels this sense of urgency.

Kensi.

"Kensi?" He sluggishly moves out of the seat he's still in, frantically looks around the inside of the helo, searching for her. He'd been strapped in next to the pilot, but Kensi…she had been moving around the small cabin, from one side to the other and back again, looking for the best angle to set up her rifle.

He sees her boots first, and follows the line of her legs until he sees her, lying crumpled in the far corner. His heart is in his throat as he makes is way to her. She doesn't look injured, but she's not moving and not conscious. With shaky hands, Deeks presses his fingers to her neck and lets out a breath he didn't even know he was holding when he feels her faint pulse.

He taps at his earwig, crossing his fingers that it still works, and lets out another sigh of relief when Callen and Sam's worried voices fill his ear.

_Deeks! Kensi! Status._

"Kensi needs help. She's…" his voice catches and he clears his throat, "she's unconscious. I'm afraid to move her."

There's a beat of silence on the other end before he hears Sam, "You're okay?"

"I think so. But, the pilot's dead."

"We're on our way to you. Hang in there, Deeks."

. . . .

"Come on, Kensi."

Deeks isn't sure why he's pleading with her – it's not like she can hear him – but he's desperate for her to wake up. In the week since the helicopter crash, the only time he hasn't been sitting next to her, holding her hand, is when they took her into surgery to repair the two cervical vertebrae she fractured in the crash.

He hates everything about their current situation – the massive brace supporting her neck (because he knows she'll hate it too), that they can't know the full extent of her injuries until she regains consciousness, that he had to call her mom and tell her what little he knew about what happened.

He hates that he hasn't been able to look into her eyes for eight days and that his countless _I love you_s have gone unanswered.

He hates that what little sleep he does get is plagued by nightmares a thousand times worse than the ones he's had about Sidorov and Afghanistan because they're all about losing her and he can't think of anything worse than that.

Shaking his head in an attempt to push those thoughts out of his mind, he settles into his chair (something else he hates after sitting nowhere else for the past week), his fingers laced with hers, and presses a lingering kiss to the back of her hand.

"Wake up, Kensalina. I miss you."

. . . .

"Deeks?"

For the first time in almost ten days, it's Kensi saying his name instead of him calling hers. It's barely above a whisper, but he hears it loud and clear and can't remember a sweeter sound. He's on his feet instantly, one hand still wrapped around hers and the other supporting his weight on the bed as he leans over her.

"Oh God, Kensi." His eyes dart over her face and he feels himself smiling ever so slightly. "Baby. Hi."

Then he kisses her – her forehead, her temple, and finally, her lips – so gently, he's not even sure she can feel them. Every fiber of his being wants to grab her face and press his lips to hers with a force that conveys all of his worries, love, and relief in a way that words cannot, but he knows he can't – the last thing he wants to do is cause her more pain.

"What happened?" Her voice is hoarse and she sounds exhausted despite having just woken up.

"I almost lost you."

Deeks knows that's not the answer she's looking for, but it's the best way he can describe the past week and a half of hell. He just wants to stay in this moment without reliving the events that led them here or thinking about what lies ahead for her with endless doctors' appointments and xrays and physical therapy.

She's alive and looking at him with her mismatched eyes and when he tells her he loves her, he finally gets to hear her say it back.


	64. Three's Company

_prompt from anon on tumblr - "Callen's house is being fumigated and he stays at Densi's house and wakes up to find them making out in the kitchen."_

* * *

She feels the tickle of his scruff on her neck just as his hands come to rest on either side of her on the kitchen counter, effectively trapping her between his arms. Taking another sip of her coffee, Kensi turns to face him and smiles as his lips find hers.

"Mmm," she hums. "Morning."

Deeks doesn't answer, instead moving his grip to her waist and dipping his head to trail a series of soft kisses along her jaw to her ear and nibbling gently.

"Deeks…not here." Kensi exhales as his lips continue their path to her shoulder. When he presses himself closer to her, she chuckles and playfully pinches his sides, making him pull away. "Callen's upstairs."

Deeks groans and drops his forehead to her shoulder. "Whose brilliant idea was that?"

"Yours, Detective."

Last week, when they had overheard Callen asking if he could stay at the Hanna's while his place was being fumigated, Kensi hadn't expected Deeks to offer up their guest room when Sam told Callen that Michelle's family was in town. None of them expected it to take two days longer than originally planned, either. And Deeks clearly didn't expect Kensi to insist that her pointless, oft-broken rule of keeping their work-life and home-life separate be enforced when work followed them home for five days.

No sex for almost a week makes for a very grumpy Marty Deeks.

Kensi gasps as his mouth finds that spot above her collar bone that he knows sends a shiver down her spine. He sucks lightly at her skin and she runs a hand over his hair and tugs gently at his curls, which only encourages him.

No sex for almost a week also makes him frisky.

With his lips, tongue, and teeth still on her neck, Kensi is on the verge of deciding that she no longer cares that they aren't alone in their home. It's about the same time that Deeks's fingers sneak under the hem of her tank top as he pulls her towards him.

It's also about the time she hears the quiet laugh coming from across the kitchen. Deeks stills suddenly and she knows he hears it too. Neither one of them moves as an incredibly awkward silence falls over the room.

"Third time this week, guys." Callen's voice is filled with amusement as he retreats to the living room. "I guess I should just be glad you've kept your clothes on."


	65. Remember

_post-ep for 8x02/speculation-ish. I have more to continue this particular one-shot but I've been away the past few days and wanted to get this part out there before the new episode airs tonight. Hoping to have the next part up in the next couple of days!_

* * *

"Your fiancé has been visiting you every day." Deeks hears the nurse say through the door as he approaches Kensi's room. The doctor had called him earlier saying she had woken up and he left work before he had even ended the call and made it to the hospital in record time. He needed to see her, to hear her voice. "He'll be so happy to see you awake."

"I don't have a fiancé…" Kensi trails off as Deeks walks through the door.

"Kens…" he exhales and strides across the room, leaning over to press a long kiss to her forehead. "God, I've missed you."

She seems tense and a bit bewildered as she leans away from him as much as she can. "I don't have a fiancé," she repeats.

"I know I only 'pre-proposed,' but –"

"Who are you?"

Deeks chuckles – he remembers waking up after taking two shots to the torso almost six years ago and thinking it would be amusing to make his uptight partner believe that he didn't remember anything – not even his own name. He's pretty impressed that Kensi is aware enough to return the joke, considering how long she's been in a coma.

Then he notices that she isn't laughing. In fact, she looks almost scared.

With his heart in his throat, Deeks exhales slowly. "You don't remember me." It's not a question – the look on Kensi's face is already telling him everything he doesn't want to believe.

The woman he loves and wants to spend the rest of his life with – the one he's been planning to really propose to this Christmas – she doesn't even know who he is. Countless kisses and I love yous wiped from her memory, and now painfully burned into his. Six years of the best partnership either of them has ever had…forgotten.

Unable to say anything else, he mumbles something about needing coffee and practically stumbles out of the room, his legs feeling like they're going to give out on him at any moment. In all his worrying about her over the past week, he never saw this coming.

_She doesn't remember…_

* * *

"Marty?"

A familiar voice cuts through his hazy thoughts and Julia rests her hand on his shoulder. Deeks looks up as she takes a seat across the table from him. He has absolutely no idea what to say, but Julia seems to understand that, or maybe she doesn't know what to say either, so the two of them turn their heads to stare silently out the window. It's a beautiful day, with not a cloud in the sky, and that only makes Deeks angrier. How can everything look so cheerful while he feels so dark and hopeless inside?

"She'll remember sometime." Julia reaches across the table to rub his hand.

Deeks opens his mouth to reply, but the unmistakable sting of tears and the conflicted emotions rushing over him cause him to pause. He wants to believe that she's right – and the doctors have told him there is a good chance she will regain her memories – but he's afraid of letting himself believe it for fear that it will never come true.

"She will," Julia continues, sounding more resolute now, "I've seen the way you two look at each other, and I know how much Kensi loves you. Her mind may have forgotten for now, but her heart still knows. She'll remember."

Deeks exhales slowly as he swipes at the stray tears that fall down his cheeks. "I hope so."

Julia gives him a sad smile and pats his arm. "I need to head home, so you can go back up to see her."

Before he can interrupt and argue that Kensi probably wouldn't want a stranger visiting her, Julia cuts him off, clearly anticipating his response.

"I told her I was coming to get you," Julia tells him. "Sit with her, talk to her. Tell her your story."

Deeks is still unsure – still feeling defeated. He doesn't think he's strong enough for this. He has always known that if he ever lost her, it would be hard on him. As it turns out, having her be here physically, but losing her anyway, feels a million times worse.

"Help her remember." Julia's barely-audible plea pierces his heart and he knows she feels the same way. Kensi also doesn't remember reconciling with her mother, and Julia has already felt the loss of her daughter once before.

"Okay, okay." Deeks draws her in for a hug. "I'll try."


	66. Awake in a Nightmare (8x05)

_answering an old-ish prompt from anon - "Shh, it was just a bad dream. Just a dream, okay? None of it was real."  
I changed it a tad to fit it into this little story. Takes place sometime in the near future…shortly after Kensi is released from the hospital._

_As always, I don't own them.  
_

* * *

It's Kensi's tossing and turning that pull Deeks out of his own restless sleep, but it's her labored breathing and quiet whimpering that wake him up completely.

"Kens." He tries to keep his voice soft and even while he reaches for her right hand to lace his fingers with hers. "Baby…wake up."

A quiet gasp and her stilled movements tell him she's awake now. "Sorry," she mumbles. "I'm fine."

It's the same song and dance every night since she came out of her coma. Deeks had hoped things would improve even a little once she was released from the hospital, but those hopes have been dashed repeatedly for over a week now. Kensi sleeps until she starts to dream, and then she never wants to talk about it. His own sleep is broken, as though he's lying in wait to fend off the nightmares. He never pushes, knowing how even after everything they've been through together, she hates to appear weak, even with him.

Tonight, though, he can't take it anymore.

"Talk to me, Kens," he whispers, running his hand gently over her head, tucking some hair behind her ear. "You know you don't have to be 'fine' for me."

She doesn't reply, but shuffles closer and lets Deeks pull her to his chest, his strong arm anchoring her still-sore body to his own. As he presses his lips to her forehead, he feels her start to tremble and her tears dampen his skin.

"Shh… It was just a bad dream, okay?" He tries to soothe her. "I got you. It was just a bad dream."

Kensi shakes her head, "But it's not just a dream."

She doesn't say more – she doesn't have to – Deeks knew before he even started trying to comfort her that the nightmares aren't the problem. The problem is that they're not over when she wakes up. The glaring uncertainty of her future as an agent and her ability to walk and use her left hand again is something she is struggling with. Kensi Blye rarely fails when she sets her mind to something and though it's only been two weeks since she woke up, Deeks knows she already feels like she's failing at this.

He wants to tell her how scared he's been since the moment they knew the helicopter was going down in the Syrian desert and how he wishes so badly he was the one who had been trapped. He wants to tell her that he would do _anything_ to change what happened if it would save her from even one second of suffering. He wants to tell her that even if she can't be an agent anymore, at least they still have each other.

He wants to tell her that what she views as one of her biggest failures, is something that he sees as one of her biggest victories, because she's still here.

Kensi isn't ready for those words of consolation though – she can't accept the possibility that she may never get back to where she had been before that fateful mission. So instead, Deeks simply murmurs words of understanding and support into the space between them.

After a few moments, when her shoulders have stopped shaking and her breaths are more even, Deeks ignores all that he _wants_ her to know and tells her the one thing she _needs_ to know.

"I love you, Kens. So much. I know you're scared and I know you're frustrated, but I also know you're driven and strong and brave and you can fight this. And I'm going to be right there with you through all of it, okay?"

When he feels her nod against his chin, he kisses her forehead.

"You don't have to do this alone."


	67. Princess in Shining Armor

_prompt from aprylynn - "I need you to pretend we're dating."_

* * *

"Kens!" Deeks's voice is hushed but urgent coming through her earwig.

The team is currently running covert surveillance in a small park just outside downtown LA. Waiting for their potential witness to make an appearance is taking longer than expected. The four of them are stationed around different quadrants of the area, though Kensi can no longer see Deeks and that combined with his sudden plea is unsettling.

"Deeks? What's wro—"

"I need you to pretend we're dating," he interrupts. He's still whispering and still sounds desperate. Everything about the last ten seconds confuses Kensi a great deal.

"What? We _are_ dating."

Deeks sighs, now he sounds exasperated. "Kensi and Deeks are dating, yes. But I need _Kelly_ to pretend she's dating _Dan_."

The use of a pair of unfamiliar names is not helping to clear up Kensi's confusion. She's about to press him for some clarification when he rushes through an explanation.

"Some cougar of a woman won't leave me alone. Told her my name is Dan and keep mentioning my long-time girlfriend, Kelly, but she won't back off. Pretty sure she thinks I'm making her up. Enter you, my real-life girlfriend who needs to pretend to be my fake-life girlfriend."

Kensi can't stop the laugh that bubbles out of her. "What is it with you and the cougars? They're always after you, huh?"

"Shit…she's coming back. Help me!"

Chuckling to herself, she quickly scans the corner of the park where Deeks is supposed to be again and this time spots him partially hidden by a tree. Even from across the open space, it's obvious that he is trying desperately to keep space between himself and the middle-aged blonde who is shamelessly flirting with him.

"Sam, Callen…"

"We got it covered, Kensi," Sam tells her, trying not to laugh, "Go rescue your Deeks-in-distress."

As she makes her way over to _Dan_, she can see the change in him when he notices her – his stance gets more relaxed and there's the slightest of smiles on his face.

"Kelly!" He reaches for her waist as she sidles up next to him and plants a kiss on her cheek. "There you are."

"Hi, Baby," she falls into her natural role and leans into him as he pulls her close. "Sorry I'm late."

Kensi turns to look at the other woman – Becky, apparently – as Deeks explains how she was just telling him about a great beach to talk a walk on that is just a few blocks away. The look of equal parts embarrassment and defeat almost makes Kensi feel bad for her, especially when Becky stammers out a quick excuse about somewhere she has to be before she turns and walks away.

Tilting her head up to look at her real-life/fake-life boyfriend, Kensi shakes her head and smirks. "I can't bring you anywhere, can I?"

Deeks closes the space between them and presses a lingering kiss to her lips. "You can bring me home later," he murmurs between kisses, "and we can—"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence, Prince Charming," Sam cuts in. "And tell Kensi to go back to her spot when you're sure the coast is clear."

"Copy that, Sam." Deeks turns his attention to Kensi and gives her another peck. "You hear that? Sam called me Prince Charming."

Laughing, Kensi steps out of his embrace. "He also called you 'Deeks-in-distress.'"

"Does that make you my princess in shining armor?"


	68. Whatever It Takes (8x06)

_Tag to 8x06 "Home is Where the Heart Is"_

* * *

"If you need anything else tonight, just let me know." The regular night nurse, Janet, gives Kensi a warm smile as she finishes checking all of her vitals. "And get some rest, you're scheduled to start PT first thing tomorrow morning."

Kensi nods absentmindedly as she glances through the window of her room into the hallway for what feels like the hundredth time tonight. There's still no sign of Deeks and she's not sure how she feels about that.

Janet must notice her distraction and asks casually, "No Marty tonight?"

Kensi shrugs and exhales a shaky breath. "I snapped at him this afternoon," she says quietly, her eyes never leaving the window. "Said I didn't want any more visitors." Leaning her head back on the pillow, she closes her eyes as Janet's hand reaches out to pat her leg.

"That man loves you, honey."

Kensi knows that. It's about the only thing she's still sure of these days. She loves him too, of course, and she needs him, but she doesn't want to need him like this, and that's the problem. Her future is laced with uncertainty and she is struggling to come to terms with that, so she's taking it out on one of the only people who she knows will always be there.

It's still mostly true, what she said to him a couple of years ago, that she only wants him to see the best parts of her. Back then, she never could have imagined that _this_ would be her at her worst and her instinct is still to push him away, to hide it from him. The irony is that in doing so, she's still showing him her worst and she has regretted it since the moment she realized he wasn't going to follow her inside this afternoon.

Nurse Janet is still standing at the foot of the bed, a sad look on her face. Kensi looks at her and nods, "Yeah. He does."

"He was here every night waiting for you to wake up and has been here every night since. I could be wrong, but I don't think he'll stay away just because you had a rough day." She pats Kensi's leg one more time and walks out of the room, leaving Kensi alone with her thoughts.

Deep down, she wants to believe Janet. The Deeks she's known for over six years has a tendency to keep pushing, no matter how many times she tells him to stop. This is different though – the stakes are so much higher and it's completely uncharted territory for both of them.

Kensi wishes this morning hadn't been so wonderfully normal. She wishes the doctor hadn't delivered such disheartening news. She wishes she could be more optimistic and she wishes Deeks could be less optimistic. Most of all, she wishes she hadn't told him she didn't want any more visitors.

Mentally exhausted from the events of the day, it's not long before Kensi feels sleep pulling her under. With one last look towards her door and one last wish – that she wasn't alone right now – she closes her eyes and does something she hasn't done in years, she cries herself to sleep.

. . . .

Deeks can't take his eyes off of his girlfriend. That's not really anything new, but tonight he just keeps thinking about how _normal_ she looks lying there, curled on her side, fast asleep. If he focuses on her face hard enough, he can almost pretend she's at home, in their bed, and not stuck in a hospital, unable to walk.

It's just after midnight now, and while he didn't intend to get to the hospital this late, he ended up sitting on the beach after work. The day had been such a rollercoaster of emotions and he needed to think. He wonders if maybe it's better that Kensi was asleep before he arrived – while he never had any intention of not visiting her tonight, he understands her need for space and time to let everything sink in.

After Kensi's outburst of frustration this afternoon, Deeks has been trying to figure out what she needs from him and what he can do. Deeks knows that the road ahead of her, and them, is going to be bumpy and there is the possibility that it may never truly end – at least not the way Kensi wants it to, but he's mostly just so relieved that she's alive and awake. That probably explains why he can be so much more optimistic than she can, because she isn't able to fully comprehend that just a few weeks ago, he was afraid he had lost her for good. Compared to her dying, he sees the potentially permanent inability to walk as something they can deal with.

He worries that in his attempts to be positive, insisting that she is and will continue getting better every day, he is giving Kensi the idea that he can't handle a less-than-best case scenario. Realizing that it will probably help for him to be more understanding and honest with her – and himself – about her prognosis and the uncertainty she faces, he vows to himself to do that for her, starting now.

Pushing himself off of "his" couch, Deeks leans over her to kiss her goodnight and whispers his promise to her, "Whatever it takes, Kens. Whatever you need."

As he begins to settle in for what promises to be a broken night's sleep, he hears her just as his eyes drift closed.

"I don't know what I need."

His heart clenches at the vulnerability in her voice and he opens his eyes and shifts so he's sitting upright again. Reaching for her hand, he laces their fingers together. "That's okay. I just…I mean it, okay? Whatever you need. And if that changes every day or hour or minute, I don't care."

Kensi nods as more tears trail down her face. "Deeks. I'm sorry…about earlier—"

"Hey…no, no, no. Please don't cry." Deeks stands and kisses her forehead, then the tears on her cheek.

"I thought you'd want to go home tonight – that you wouldn't come here," she whispers and lets out a shaky breath, her eyes trained on their interlocked hands.

Deeks lifts her hand to his lips and presses a gentle kiss to her knuckles. "Kens…look at me." When she shifts her gaze to meet his, he offers her a slight smile. "As long as you're here, _this_ is my home. It's okay if what you need sometimes is space. But you have to know that I'm not giving up on you. We're in this together, okay?"

"I love you."

"I love you more." Deeks kisses her once more. "Now sleep. Tomorrow, our Kickass Kensalina is going to show her physical therapist that she means business."

Kensi smiles at that and gives him a look of gratitude. "Thank you, Deeks."

"Whatever it takes. I promise"


	69. From House to Home (8x08)

_Tag to 8x08 "Parallel Resistors" - takes places about a week after the episode._

* * *

"Hey, Baby, sorry I'm late. It started raining and you know how LA drivers get when it starts to rain. This also means we have to move our picnic inside…" Arms full with their dinner, Deeks opens the door to Kensi's room with his back and turns to see a very pissed off looking girlfriend/fiancé sitting on her bed. "…Why do you look like you want to bite someone's head off?"

Kensi inhales sharply and rolls her shoulders.

"It's not me, is it? I'm not _that_ late with your food."

"Sullivan was at therapy again today."

Deeks chuckles. He should have known. He hasn't seen anyone get under Kensi's skin like this in a long time. Kensi glares at him for laughing, but he can't help it, so he just shrugs and shakes his head in amusement.

"He's just so…cocky and annoying and frustrating." She reaches for the water Deeks holds out for her.

"You used to think _I_ was all of those things."

A slight smirk replaces her frown and the fire in her eyes softens to a mischievous twinkle. "_Used _to?"

Deeks opens his mouth and then closes it before nodding, "Okay, I walked into that one. Touché." Putting Kensi's dinner down on the tray next to her bed, he leans over and kisses the side of her head. "Just don't go falling in love with him," he teases.

"You have nothing to worry about."

"I know," he assures her as he takes his seat on the couch.

They eat in silence for a few minutes and then at some point, Kensi stops, realizing that Deeks is staring at her more than he's eating.

"What?" She prompts.

Deeks tilts his head to the side and pauses for a beat, studying her as though he's trying to anticipate her reaction to whatever he's going to say.

"I think Sullivan has been good for you."

Kensi is shaking her head as soon as the words come out of his mouth, irritation seeping back into her tone, "Deeks—"

"He's helping to bring _you_ back, Kens," he cuts off whatever argument she has. "That fire inside you that I love, the determination that helps make you who you are. For the first time in months, I see that Kensi again. _My_ Kensi."

Kensi stares at him, clearly not having expected that observation. She looks like she doesn't know whether to laugh or cry or keep being angry.

"He's giving you something to focus on fighting other than yourself."

A look of guilt flashes in her eyes. "And you?"

Deeks sighs and sets his food down next to him before reaching out to touch her. "Kensi, we've been over this. You haven't been fighting me. Being here…going through what you're going through…you're allowed to be pissed off and upset and whatever else you feel."

"But I shouldn't take it out on you."

"You're not. And even if I felt like you were – I can take it." Rising from his seat, he leans over and presses a kiss to her forehead. "I'm not going anywhere, Kens. If you believe nothing else right now, believe that."

Kensi looks like she could cry, but she simply nods as a slight smile tugs at the corners of her mouth.

"Well, that and the house being this clean for this long is starting to creep me out."

Kensi snorts. "Ha. Ha. You think you're funny?"

"No, I'm serious!" Deeks tries to keep a straight face as Kensi looks at him with amusement. "It was kind of like a really, really tarnished silver lining at first, but now it's just weird."

"Then I'd better work on getting out of here soon so that I can make you feel more at home," she half-jokes.

A warm smile lights up his face. "I can't wait."

He doesn't tell her that the first time he cleaned the house after the accident, he went around afterwards and put her jacket back on the arm of the couch and unmade their bed, and purposely left his dinner dishes in the sink. But it wasn't the same.

"I missed you last night," Kensi's quiet admission catches him by surprise.

Deeks pokes her in the side, "You're the one who makes me sleep at the house on Sundays!"

It had been an intense discussion between two stubborn parties that dragged on for almost a week before Deeks finally gave in. Kensi feels terrible that he sleeps on the small, uncomfortable couch in her room and insisted that he should go home at least a couple nights a week. They eventually settled on one night, since Deeks wouldn't agree to any more than that. So, on Sundays, after spending most of the weekend with her, Deeks brings them an early takeout dinner before heading to the house, where he crashes almost immediately.

It's not that he particularly likes sleeping on the couch in her room, it's that he really hates being at the house without her. He wants to tell her that the only reason he even sleeps well on those nights is because he goes to bed as soon as he gets in because at least when he's asleep, he doesn't have to think about her not being there.

Kensi reaches for his hand and gives it a quick squeeze. "Admit it, it's nice not having me starfishing all over the bed."

Deeks gives her a sad smile and laces his fingers with hers. "Kens, I would curl up in one corner of the bed every single night if it meant that you were home with me."

She doesn't respond right away, not having anticipated the more serious turn in the conversation. Her eyes flick from their joined hands to his face as she considers him for a moment and realizes something. "I think that's the first time in a while that I've heard you call it 'home' instead of 'the house.'"

Deeks can only shrug. It's not an accident that he doesn't – can't – refer to it as 'home.' It's supposed to be _their_ house and since they'd only just moved in a few days before heading to Syria, it doesn't really feel like home yet, especially since Kensi hasn't been there in months.

"It's not really home without you, Kens. As long as you're in this hospital, this is home."

_My home is wherever you are, Baby Girl_. The words from her father's journal echo in her mind as she tugs Deeks closer to her, grateful for the press of his lips against hers as she thinks about how lucky she is to have the kind of love she's always wanted.

"But our house is pretty awesome, and a bit more spacious than this room. And it smells better. And there's a bed big enough for both of us to sleep in, together. So…" Deeks trails off, knowing she'll get what he's saying. He wants her out of here so that their house isn't just a house anymore. He wants it to be _home_.

Kensi laughs lightly and nods in understanding. "I'm working on it."


	70. Partners

_post-ep for 8x09 ("Glasnost")  
_

_I own nothing_

* * *

Kensi's eyes flutter shut as Deeks presses another kiss to the back of her hand. The feeling of her fingers laced with his is more rewarding than jumping his piece on the checkers board, which is probably why this little exercise he came up last week with gets better results than playing board games does.

"_It still counts as ADL therapy_," Deeks had insisted the first time he asked her to try it. "_You used to hold my hand all the time._" It was something she couldn't really argue, and he knew it.

Even so, Kensi finds her heart racing a bit whenever he asks for her hand, despite the understanding they came to about the ring Deeks has for her – now safely hidden somewhere in their bedroom instead of in his pocket every day. She's made tremendous progress, though she often thinks it's not enough, but she's still not ready to wear that ring yet – not with her "claw," no matter how sexy he claims to find it.

"You were right, before." The low murmur of Deeks's voice interrupts the quiet moment between them. "About me being a little jealous of Sullivan."

"Deeks." Kensi exhales and starts to pull back.

"It's not what you're probably thinking though," he rushes to explain, holding firmly onto her hand to keep her from pulling back any further. He kisses her knuckles and takes a second to gather his thoughts. "For six years, being with you practically 24/7 is all I've known. And I've loved it, and I miss it. I miss my partner."

Kensi softens and leans back towards her boyfriend. This isn't something she thought of when she made the teasing jab earlier. She squeezes his fingers as best she can, which makes him smile.

"So, yeah, I get a little jealous of Sullivan, but only because I wish I was the one spending all day with you."

Kensi feels her eyes getting a little watery as she shifts closer to Deeks and presses a soft kiss to his lips. "I love you," she whispers when she pulls away, "and I miss that too. I miss being your partner. And that's part of what makes this so frustrating and discouraging. What if we never get that back?"

Deeks sighs before reaching his other arm around her shoulders and pulling her against him, hugging her to his chest.

"I've loved being your partner – _love_ being your partner – but that's not _why_ I love you, Kens." He's speaking softly, but Kensi doesn't miss the intensity of the emotions behind his words. "And even though I still believe you're coming back from this, if we never get another day out in the field together, we'll figure out your new normal – and our new normal – as long as we're together here. Partners at home."

"It won't be easy," Kensi admits, "figuring out a new normal. If I can't go back in the field..." She trails off, knowing herself well enough to know that she'll have trouble accepting anything less than what she was before. It's hard enough right now, when it's still early in her recovery and there's still so much potential for her to improve.

"I know."

And he does. They've talked about her fears and his. He knows that Kensi is afraid she'll lose the version of herself that she knows and turn bitter and end up pushing him away, even though that's not what she wants. He's afraid that his faith in her won't be enough to show her that there's more to Kensi Blye than her Special Agent title or that his love for her won't be enough to convince her that he's not going anywhere. They're both afraid of the new uncertainties of their futures.

"But you know what else I know?" Deeks presses a kiss to her forehead and rubs his hand up and down her back. "We're both fighters. So, we'll fight like hell. And when you're tired, I'll fight for both of us. Deal?"

Kensi nods against his shoulder. "Deal."

Partners at work, partners at home, or partners at both. Whatever is in store for them, it's worth fighting for.


	71. Bump in the Road

_tag to 8x10 - Sirens  
_

* * *

7:14pm_  
Thanks for dinner, baby._

7:16pm  
_You don't think I actually believe you made this though, right? :-P  
Heard my mom talking about making it before I left this morning._

8:42pm  
_You at your mom's?_

9:07pm  
_Everything ok?_

Isn't _that_ a loaded question? Until tonight, Kensi had been thinking everything was mostly okay. Therapy has been going well – she's progressing more quickly than her doctors and therapists had hoped, and she's back at home with Deeks and loving their new house. She even thought it was some sort of sign that Sullivan showed up today with the news that he's been cleared to return to his unit.

And then she ran into Hetty at the Mission. The encounter was brief, but still managed to be one of the most discouraging moments Kensi has experienced in weeks – and considering what she's been through, that's saying something.

She reads over the string of missed texts from Deeks again, feeling bad that he's probably getting worried and that she didn't even think to check her phone until just now. She cringes when she sees that it's almost 9:30. Wallowing in your own self-pity sure makes you lose track of time.

She taps out a quick response, so that he doesn't start thinking about calling Eric to ping her phone.

_Sorry…didn't realize it was getting so late. _

_At the beach.  
Just been thinking._

Just as she's about to get to her feet and head back to her car, her phone buzzes with a new incoming text.

_Want company?_

Kensi looks at the time again and almost tells him no, but realizes that she's not ready to go home yet. The sound of the lapping waves is soothing and she feels more at peace right now than she has all day.

_Yeah, actually. I'd love some :)  
At our favorite spot by the pier._

Fifteen minutes later, she hears the not-too-distant sound of a familiar truck's door being shut and it's not long before she feels Deeks approach her and settle down onto the sand next to her. With his elbows propped up on his knees, he says nothing as they both stare out past the lights at the end of the pier. Kensi doesn't say anything either – she hasn't figured out how to explain to him what she's feeling after today.

Subtle movement to Kensi's left catches her attention. She looks over to Deeks and sees his hand, palm up, extended out between them and the understanding and unwavering support in his eyes brings a slight smile to her face. She lifts her left hand – no longer "the claw" it was just a couple of weeks ago, though it's still weak – and laces her fingers with his. This has been her favorite exercise ever since the first time Deeks had her try it.

"I went to the firing range at work today." Kensi breaks the silence between them after a few moments, her eyes still trained on their joined hands.

"I thought I smelled a little gunpowder." That makes Kensi chuckle and Deeks squeezes her hand. "That's great, Kens. I'm proud of you."

Kensi nods and sighs loudly. "Yeah, it _was_ great. It felt so normal…until Hetty came in and made me shoot with my left hand."

She feels Deeks squeeze her hand again. She doesn't have to tell him that things went downhill from there. While he hasn't seen her shoot since before the accident, he knows that her left hand isn't as strong as it needs to be.

"You just need more time, Baby. It's still only been three months."

Kensi nods again but stays silent. She knows what he's saying is true and she supposes it should make her feel better and if it hadn't been for everything that had happened today, Kensi thinks it would be easier to accept.

"Yeah," she scoffs. "It's just…the moms are smothering me and then Sullivan came by and told me that he's been cleared to go back to his unit and I just…I want things to go back to normal."

Deeks leans over and presses a kiss to her temple. "If you don't want the moms around all the time, we'll tell them to go home. If you want more practice in the range, you can meet me at work every night, or come with me every morning…whatever you want. I want things to go back to normal too."

Resting her head on his shoulder, Kensi's eyes drift shut and she relaxes into his side. She wonders for what seems like the millionth time how she is lucky enough to have Deeks by her side. The helicopter crash and everything that's happened since has turned her world upside down and though the road to recovery has been bumpy, the one constant through all of it has been him.

"I love you."

She feels Deeks kiss the top of her head. "I'd do anything for you, Kens. You know that."

Kensi smiles to herself – she does know that. "Let's go home."


	72. Rise Up

_In case you haven't heard, the NCISLA family lost one of their own yesterday. Miguel Ferrer, who played Assistant Director Owen Granger, lost his battle with cancer at the age of 61. He will be greatly missed._

* * *

Sullivan.  
Dom.  
Renko.  
Hunter.

Countless close calls with countless other agents.

And now this.

Henrietta Lange has never handled losing any of her agents especially well, and though this one is different – since he wasn't an agent anymore, and was never one of hers – she feels the loss much deeper than the others in many ways.

Granger.

Sitting at her desk, staring blankly around the bullpen, Hetty thinks how easily it could have been her. She thinks that maybe it should have been her – God knows she probably deserves it more than he did.

It seems like only yesterday when Assistant Director Owen Granger made his unorthodox, and unwanted, arrival to the Office of Special Projects. It had taken some time for the team and for her to warm up to his presence, but eventually, he became the closest thing their dysfunctional family had to a patriarch.

And now she has to tell them that he is gone.

Before she can decide when and how best to let the team know, Hetty feels Callen's eyes on her, silently probing, sensing something isn't right. She can barely lift her gaze to meet his and she knows it has to be now.

"Mr. Callen," she clears her throat but it doesn't rid her voice of the heavy emotion weighing it down. "Bring your team to my office, please. I have called Nell and Eric as well. There is something I need to tell you all."

Callen hesitates for a moment, his eyes narrowing, trying to get a read on her. Then, he nods and heads towards the gym where she knows the rest of the team is working out. A few minutes later, Callen, Sam, Kensi, Deeks, Nell, and Eric are crowded into her open office. She looks at them – her makeshift family.

"Hetty?" Callen prompts. "If this is about your resignation, I think—"

"No, Mr. Callen, it's not about that." She sighs sadly and smooths her hands over the top of her desk before meeting the stares of the team. "I received a call just a few minutes ago, from the hospital. Assistant Director Granger died in his sleep early this morning."

The silence that follows is deafening. Kensi has grabbed Deeks's hands and presses her forehead to his shoulder. Nell is staring at Hetty, eyes wide and Eric is staring at Nell. Both Callen and Sam look like they're looking for something to say, but the words don't come.

"Go home." Hetty's words cuts through the quiet. "All of you. I will have others work on narrowing down the leads. You will get back to work tomorrow."

They all look at Hetty, then at each other. Sam is the first to find his voice.

"I'm staying right here, and I'm going to find whoever is responsible for this."

One by one, without a hint of hesitation, the rest of the team joins Sam, nodding in agreement.

A sense of pride swells inside of Hetty – it's when this team is fighting for those closest to them that they are at their very best.

Owen Granger deserves nothing less.


	73. So Close (8x24)

_Tag to the finale (8x24 - Unleashed) - An anon on tumblr asked for a little something that takes place immediately following the proposal scene. I have a feeling they may have wanted something more fluffy...but let's face it, the rest of the episode (and the one before it) were far too angsty to have much fluff left for fics. So...I give you emotions instead._

* * *

Kensi kisses him for far longer than she should, given that they're still at a crime scene, but after every awful thing that happened today, she wants to hold on to whatever good feelings she can. And, whatever _this_ feeling is – the mixture of relief, contentment, and complete and utter devotion to the man kneeling in front of her – it's almost enough to make her forget the despair, urgency, and heartbreak she's been feeling over and over again since they first heard that Michelle had been kidnapped.

Almost.

Deeks breaks the kiss and she leans into him, wanting to stay as close as she can.

"Baby…" He brings a hand to her face, letting his thumb wipe away the tears on her cheek.

Kensi didn't even know she had begun to cry. She drops her head to Deeks's shoulder and exhales a shuddering breath as she lets the tears fall freely now.

"We were so close, Deeks. We were _there_."

"Hey…no, no." He reaches for her hands, pulls them to standing, and wraps his arms around her shoulders, holding her as tightly as he can. "Kens, we couldn't have known. Tahir made sure we'd never think she was so close."

Kensi sighs heavily, "I know, but…"

"But nothing…this is not our fault. This is on Tahir." His voice is hushed but firm. Kensi wants to believe him – and deep down, she knows he's right – but the "what ifs" are driving her crazy right now.

"How is Sam ever going to be okay after this?" She whispers into his shoulder. "And Kamran and Aiden. God, Deeks, they're so young."

Deeks takes a slow, deep breath and pulls her even closer. Silence settles between them for a few long moments. When Deeks speaks again, it's barely above a whisper, and he can't hide the emotions coursing through him.

"He won't be okay…they won't be okay. At least not the kind of okay they were before today." He presses a long kiss to Kensi's hair and she can tell he's giving himself a minute to gather his thoughts. "I know it's in no way as devastating as what Sam is going through, but I've close to losing you – way too close – more than once, and it has changed me every single time. 'Okay' just takes on a new meaning. And, it takes time."

Kensi squeezes her eyes shut at the onslaught of memories that rush over her. Afghanistan. Syria. Sullivan/Ferris. Deeks puts up a good façade most of the time, making it easy to miss just what was happening to him while these things were happening to her. Seeing Sam today – his focused desperation in trying to save his wife – it's the first time Kensi has gotten a glimpse into what Deeks must have gone through.

"He's going to need us." She knows Deeks knows that, but saying it out loud makes herself feel better.

Deeks simply nods. "And we'll be here…for whatever he needs. For whatever the kids need. We'll get them through this."

Pulling back and giving him the slightest of smiles, Kensi swallows hard and nods along. "Whatever it takes."


End file.
